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Children need socialization and intellectualization through daycare----stay-at-home mom is just not enough...

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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 7:15 PM
Replies (611-620):
shudderette
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:49 AM

Sounds like you had a hard time with your kids after age 10. Maybe if you'd have stayed home with them it wouldn't have been so hard.

Sorry, low blow. I'm not normally this catty. gonna blame it on the pms.

I WILL be home with my kids 10-17 because i'm a sahm (and full time student). Even when I did work I worked 3rd shift so I could be there for my kids before and after school. 

Daycare 4 hours a day is nuthin. I'm sure your kids barely noticed that. But I know people whose kids are in daycare up to 12 hours a day. That's their entire awake time. It makes me sad knowing some kids dont have the every day joy of curling up into their mama's arms to read a book any time they want. 

I'm not talking about giving a kid their way when they're thowing a fit, i'm talking about allowing a kid to be loved by his very own mama each and every day all day long. So much better for a kid, overall. 

Quoting Minnetonka:

Of course I taught them colors, alphabet, to read at age 4, and wash hands after potty--important of course, but I "allowed" others to help through daycare. 4 hours a day from 1 year to 4 years was private daycare---with 5 family 2-week trips a year and most Fridays stay at home--horse riding lessons and ballet with me. I didn't ask them at ages 2 or 3 or 4 if they wanted to be with me (for 4 hours?!) because all toddlers would say yes. Toddlers should not have as many choices as mothers give them today... As parents, we should not let a 3-yr- old pitch a fit because they don't get their way from 8am to noon.
Part of parenting is teaching them they will not always get their way in life
Ages 1 through 9 are easy... Make a promise to yourself to be home after school ages 10 through 17---THOSE are the hardest parenting years ---and when children need the most guidance.


Quoting shudderette:

Not the same. No one can be the mom I can to my children. No One. Not a single living being on this planet. I am the only "mom" my children will ever get. There might be people who can try and can even do an ok job at it but nope, even under age 10. Parenting starts before birth and never stops, not even when it gets difficult.

I'm not there for my kid every second of every day. I have things I enjoy without them. But getting to teach your kid to count and say please and thank you and reading to them before nap time, those are more important than those things i do for me. 

if you send your kid to daycare, have you ever asked them if they'd rather not go? if they had a choice to stay at home with you or go to daycare what would they choose? I cant think of a single child who would choose daycare over time with their mama. 


Quoting Minnetonka:

Potty training, learning to count, learning to say please and thank yous and lining up to take naps and story time...

I think anyone can do that job. Anyone. Anyone.



But starting at age 10+? Completely different answer.

Then you have MAJOR life training that I will NEVER trust anyone else to do. That is major parenting 100% .

Make a promise to be there every second---That is when Parenting gets difficult.

Ages 1 through 9 are a piece of cake.





Quoting shudderette:

what is daycare except paying someone to do a job that you can do better? yeah, no thanks, my kids are good.









mommyofTC
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:50 AM
PLAY DATES = not paying someone to watch your child plus 10 other children, your child not being around children who are sick, knowing your child is learning one on one, not having the thought of your child being injured because the teacher is attending to another child AND knowing your child is being loved by the best person THEIR MOTHER.
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Nynnie
by Gold Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:54 AM
This site is for ALL moms, no matter how they're doing, even moms who don't wanna be moms, step moms, moms who have turned into guys. Love&marriage is a group on this site lol, u came to a group where everybody lets off steem and everybody talks shit to them about it, there's worse ones than this. There is also one called parenting advise if ur looking for that without the critisism and bitching ur gonna get here

Quoting Minnetonka:

I am not looking for it--I have it!

I thought this site was to learn how to be better parents by learning from others.

Is this a single/divorced moms' site ? ( I don't know)




Quoting Nynnie:

Well, this is a bunch of women lol. Plus this is a drama group, love&marriage is about being happy and in love and having kids if that's what ur lookin for





Quoting Minnetonka:

Nooooo; It shows their True Colors as a mommy!



And then they teach their blessed children to be just like them.



Sarcasm and jealousy are learned.







I need to find the educated and married and happy mom site.....this is a circus












Quoting Momniscient:






I love how these posts bring out the worst in people.














Quoting Anonymous:

Another bitch who is angry because she is forced to work. Even still I'm sure she's struggling to get by and her measly income along with her husbands pennies aren't enough to keep up. I'm a stay at home mom and my daughter is friendly, polite, loves people and is smarter than some of her peers who are in daycare. Daycare is not school! It's a place where kids play and eat and nap while other adults watch them. They song songs and have story time. That can't be done at home? Again stop being mad that you're too broke to stay home with your kid!


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Minnetonka
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 3:13 AM
Yeah! What you both said!
We teach our children dignity, empathy and character through every word we speak and action we , as parents, take. They watch how we speak to waitresses, how we treat the lost dog, speak to the telemarketer on the phone and how we treat our mother-in-law or nasty neighbor down the road. I get it ladies.don't feel sorry for my kids...they were taught by me, my husband, and a team of private school teachers...
I believe it is all learned and hardwired by the time they are 5...I never said that my children are going to learn not to hit, bite, lie and cheat starting at age 10; Have you taught your 4 or 8 yr old old: about cheating on a test, someone stealing your property, peer pressure, acne, drugs, prescription abuse, lying on a college entrance Essay, Bulimia, convulsions through epilepsy, death of a parent, Condoms, boys, wet dreams, pot, Teen pregnancy, Explicit lyrics, drinking, drivers Ed, cocaine, teen suicide, internet Porn (they will find it) Divorce, maintaining high GPA, life decisions, SAT, ACT, cutting, texting and driving.....drinking and driving, meth, overdose...it is easy to teach
a sweet, innocent child ages 1 through 9.... Enter puberty. I live in high end neighborhood and we don't have problems--but we watch the rest of the USA and see one common denominator: no parents at home after school. Be there :) Your child's simple sweet adorable life changes at age 11/12+ whether they want it to or not and regardless of what you tell them. Be there. The most important years of you parenting are in your future. But you won't worry because you taught them everything they need to know about morals and self awareness ages 1 through 10 right? (sorry--just think about it) enjoy the easy, sweet years.


Quoting shudderette:

yeah, what she said!


Quoting sarah427:

Ages 1 through 9 are when a child's personality blossoms. Those are the years that they develop self awareness, confidence (or the lack there of), and develop basic moral values...I'm not talking about "please" and "thank you", I'm talking about learning that what we do affects others, their feelings and understanding about lying, cheating, stealing, hurting others feelings, hurting others physically ( hitting, biting, etc)...and the list goes on. If you think these things happen after 10, I feel sorry for your kids! The most important years are the first ten!!!





Quoting Minnetonka:

Potty training, learning to count, learning to say please and thank yous and lining up to take naps and story time...


I think anyone can do that job. Anyone. Anyone.





But starting at age 10+? Completely different answer.


Then you have MAJOR life training that I will NEVER trust anyone else to do. That is major parenting 100% .


Make a promise to be there every second---That is when Parenting gets difficult.


Ages 1 through 9 are a piece of cake.







Quoting shudderette:

what is daycare except paying someone to do a job that you can do better? yeah, no thanks, my kids are good.









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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 11, 2013 at 3:23 AM
Of course the working moms are teaming up against stay at home moms-again! Please go somewhere else with your nonsense. If you could stay home you would, stop kidding yourselves and others into thinking you would rather work. Go bash the moms who neglect their kids or who pop out kids and can't afford them. Don't get mad at women who have he option to stay home and raise their kids. Respect to all women to raise kids because its not easy. But stop bashing at home moms because you suffer from working mom guilt!
Minnetonka
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 3:36 AM
Hi Shudderette~~actually, no low blow taken....my children are 10+ and I arrive home before the bus:)
and it was 4 hours (private school) 8am to noon from age 1 to 5 ~~while I taught horse therapy to Dissabled Children. And we took multiple plane trips/vacations every year so I was and am always with them.
They learned empathy and importance of charity very quickly through watching my horse therapy training (for free!) and how some children physically struggle through life, but they know pity is not what the disabled want. You can't teach It unless you do it. No--I see how hard many,'single moms and working moms have it with their kids throughout their whole lives and it is not about who stays at home for the first 3 years with their toddler----it is about which mothers are there after school. It makes the difference and can change teenages' lives....the tough teenager questions have already started and every day is a new direction. Good for you for being there as well--through your hard work.


Quoting shudderette:

Sounds like you had a hard time with your kids after age 10. Maybe if you'd have stayed home with them it wouldn't have been so hard.

Sorry, low blow. I'm not normally this catty. gonna blame it on the pms.

I WILL be home with my kids 10-17 because i'm a sahm (and full time student). Even when I did work I worked 3rd shift so I could be there for my kids before and after school. 

Daycare 4 hours a day is nuthin. I'm sure your kids barely noticed that. But I know people whose kids are in daycare up to 12 hours a day. That's their entire awake time. It makes me sad knowing some kids dont have the every day joy of curling up into their mama's arms to read a book any time they want. 

I'm not talking about giving a kid their way when they're thowing a fit, i'm talking about allowing a kid to be loved by his very own mama each and every day all day long. So much better for a kid, overall. 


Quoting Minnetonka:

Of course I taught them colors, alphabet, to read at age 4, and wash hands after potty--important of course, but I "allowed" others to help through daycare. 4 hours a day from 1 year to 4 years was private daycare---with 5 family 2-week trips a year and most Fridays stay at home--horse riding lessons and ballet with me. I didn't ask them at ages 2 or 3 or 4 if they wanted to be with me (for 4 hours?!) because all toddlers would say yes. Toddlers should not have as many choices as mothers give them today... As parents, we should not let a 3-yr- old pitch a fit because they don't get their way from 8am to noon.

Part of parenting is teaching them they will not always get their way in life

Ages 1 through 9 are easy... Make a promise to yourself to be home after school ages 10 through 17---THOSE are the hardest parenting years ---and when children need the most guidance.





Quoting shudderette:

Not the same. No one can be the mom I can to my children. No One. Not a single living being on this planet. I am the only "mom" my children will ever get. There might be people who can try and can even do an ok job at it but nope, even under age 10. Parenting starts before birth and never stops, not even when it gets difficult.

I'm not there for my kid every second of every day. I have things I enjoy without them. But getting to teach your kid to count and say please and thank you and reading to them before nap time, those are more important than those things i do for me. 

if you send your kid to daycare, have you ever asked them if they'd rather not go? if they had a choice to stay at home with you or go to daycare what would they choose? I cant think of a single child who would choose daycare over time with their mama. 



Quoting Minnetonka:

Potty training, learning to count, learning to say please and thank yous and lining up to take naps and story time...


I think anyone can do that job. Anyone. Anyone.





But starting at age 10+? Completely different answer.


Then you have MAJOR life training that I will NEVER trust anyone else to do. That is major parenting 100% .


Make a promise to be there every second---That is when Parenting gets difficult.


Ages 1 through 9 are a piece of cake.








Quoting shudderette:

what is daycare except paying someone to do a job that you can do better? yeah, no thanks, my kids are good.














Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
saucymama519
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 3:40 AM

You do realize generations of people were raised by stay at home moms, right? Hell, home schooling used to be the norm.

The human race has survived so far.

Minnetonka
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 3:42 AM
This is a strange site
.....and stop bashing women who put their kids in a top-notch private school for just 4 hours a day (!) so they can teach Disabled Children through Horse Therapy ---------for free.
I give back to the needy --- I don't have to work.
It is my passion and charity is what this country needs.


Quoting Anonymous:

Of course the working moms are teaming up against stay at home moms-again! Please go somewhere else with your nonsense. If you could stay home you would, stop kidding yourselves and others into thinking you would rather work. Go bash the moms who neglect their kids or who pop out kids and can't afford them. Don't get mad at women who have he option to stay home and raise their kids. Respect to all women to raise kids because its not easy. But stop bashing at home moms because you suffer from working mom guilt!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Minnetonka
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 3:47 AM
Thanks Nynnie--I just dont understand why everyone is so mean. All the time.
It's so unproductive. I appreciate you explaining where I accidently landed!



Quoting Nynnie:

This site is for ALL moms, no matter how they're doing, even moms who don't wanna be moms, step moms, moms who have turned into guys. Love&marriage is a group on this site lol, u came to a group where everybody lets off steem and everybody talks shit to them about it, there's worse ones than this. There is also one called parenting advise if ur looking for that without the critisism and bitching ur gonna get here



Quoting Minnetonka:

I am not looking for it--I have it!


I thought this site was to learn how to be better parents by learning from others.


Is this a single/divorced moms' site ? ( I don't know)






Quoting Nynnie:

Well, this is a bunch of women lol. Plus this is a drama group, love&marriage is about being happy and in love and having kids if that's what ur lookin for







Quoting Minnetonka:

Nooooo; It shows their True Colors as a mommy!




And then they teach their blessed children to be just like them.




Sarcasm and jealousy are learned.









I need to find the educated and married and happy mom site.....this is a circus















Quoting Momniscient:







I love how these posts bring out the worst in people.

















Quoting Anonymous:

Another bitch who is angry because she is forced to work. Even still I'm sure she's struggling to get by and her measly income along with her husbands pennies aren't enough to keep up. I'm a stay at home mom and my daughter is friendly, polite, loves people and is smarter than some of her peers who are in daycare. Daycare is not school! It's a place where kids play and eat and nap while other adults watch them. They song songs and have story time. That can't be done at home? Again stop being mad that you're too broke to stay home with your kid!



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KeriAZ
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 3:56 AM
I did fine as a child without daycare. And neither of my kids were in daycare. My oldest was too smart for it. We did just fine.
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