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how can you commit suicide if you have kids...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Like how can you be so disgustingly selfish...its sad. Just heard about mindy mcready
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:42 PM
Replies (261-270):
Nicollynne
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 5:59 PM

Yeah, like when you are really depressed, that is what you are thinking about.  Usually is it for Unselfish reasons.  When a mom is contemplating suicide, she is usually thinking about how the kids will be better off without her.  Or if she just dies then maybe the insurance money or something will help.  You know, maybe she is worth more dead than alive.  And, yes I know insurance doesn't pay on suicide, but you are not thinking of that when you are suicidal.  I speak from experience.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 59 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:01 PM

I don't understand it I don't judge. I'm depressed but I could never do that to my kid's.

k_hall1784
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:16 PM

It is selfish. The problem is that those who commit suicide have mental illnesses. Taking your own life is not something a mentally sound person would do. Mental illness will control your life if you let it.

LivysMama
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:36 PM

I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this. It makes me so angry that she did that to her poor kids.

mereinhart28
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:47 PM

I can't begin to understand why or how people could feel that this is the only option for them. I don't find it selfish, I find it very sad.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 60 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:57 PM

no. i do not think that it is selfish. it is that person's life and they should be able to do what they want with it.

I have thought about commiting suicide a few times since i had kids. it wasnt because i was hating life or anything like that, it was because i felt like my husband and my children would do BETTER without me. in my mind i had it all laid out. My children were still young enough to accept a new women into their life. My husband is definitely better looking than i am, so he would have no problems finding a new wife that would be more sucessful and possibly a better mom than i am. Not only that, they would end up with the life insurance money from me, so they would be in a better financial state. 

obviously, in the end, i didnt do it. But dont just assume that a person is doing it for "selfish" reasons. sometimes people do it or try to do it hoping that there will be benefit for their loved ones as a result. 

lancet98
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:20 PM

 

Ah....you don't know.

Many people hide their addictions.   Some people hide addictions for DECADES.  Sometimes parents and spouses don't even know.   Addicts can be very, very smart about hiding things.  

MANY people refuse help, too.   You don't know what her family and friends have tried to do.   They probably have been beating their head against the wall for DECADES with her.

Part of the problem with being a wealthy celebrity, is that you can ALWAYS find an enabler.

ALWAYS.  

There's always a doctor out there who will slip you some pills, or a 'friend' who will buy you booze, or go out drinkin' with you.   There's always another party to go do, and at parties full of alcoholics, no one is going to tell you to stop drinking.

Why do people refuse help? 

Because.  Addictions also make people irrational.  

For me, the kind of irrationality that is typical of addiction, is that everything else except the addiction loses importance.   The addiction gets control of the person.   All their efforts go to continuing the addiction.

It's pretty shocking to see the amount of control the addiction has over the person.  

Most people who haven't had these troubles don't understand what it's like.

They think 'depression' must be like the usual ups and downs they experience - sad on losing a job, happy on getting a new job...they have no idea.   Even the WORD 'depression' has been devalued - I heard a woman say she was depressed because she had not received some Christmas gifts in time to give them for Christmas. 

No.   That is not what the disease depression is.   That is sadness, or disappointment.

Similar with addictions - people tend to imagine that addictions must be something like the feeling they get at 10 pm when they feel like some popcorn or ice cream might taste good.   And if they focus and think about it, they can go without that ice cream or popcorn at 10 pm.   They had a good meal at 6 pm, they aren't really hungry, the have a carrot, or some herb tea instead.

Again.   No real comparison.   But this is how they think.

And of course the other problem - it is VERY popular for survivors of a suicide in the family, to rant and rave about how SELFISH and CRUEL the person who committed suicide is.  

In other words, gettng angry is their excuse for not handling the situation.   It's their way of running away from the work they have to do, it's their way of wallowing in it.

And it is monumentally selfish.  Incredibly selfish.   It's bound to have an EXTREMELY negative effect on anyone considering suicide, and it's something many people prance around for years screaming, beating their chests.

The truth of the matter is that there is nothing so special about anyone that they are guaranteed a life free of loss, pain or sadness, and because of that, no one has any REAL right to stomp around and wail about how someone who commits suicide is so awful for hurting THEM.

What about the pain the suicidal person was going through?   Y'ever think of THAT?   NO.  Because YOU are incredibly selfish yourself.

That is a supremely, supremely selfish life stance, that everyone better behave in a way that makes YOU feel good and doesn't put any ripples in your little peaceful pond.   That is RIDICULOUS.  

A mentally ill person has a REASON for being irrational.   YOU have NO REASON for being so incredibly self centered that EVERYTHING is about YOU.

LIFE is indeed, partly about loss.  People die.   They commit suicide, they get into car accidents that could have been avoided, they don't take care of themselves, they refuse to go to the doctor, they drive when they are tired, they simply do not SEE someone crossing the street and hit them, people do drugs and get sent to jail, all sorts of things happen in life.  All sorts.   To your friends, to your relatives - things happen.

Life is about loss, and senseless random things, and things that could have been avoided, and things that leave you wondering WHY.

And life also consists of the beautiful moments you share, with people you love, with people who love you, with those moments that are so incredibly beautiful and perfect.

But no one every guaranteed you a life without loss.   And NO ONE ever got better from a suicide in the family by staying ANGRY at the person for ever.   That path leads no where.

Quoting wicked_tink:

You know what is pretty sad??No one was there to be there to help her out in her time of need...You claim you have depression but if you did you would get it.Yes commiting suicide is sad and leaves many missing pieces not solved but to them it is something they feel they have to do.All people seemed to do was say how messed up she was.But i bet they never once got off their ass to help her at all including her exhusband

 

 

Anoronlight
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:46 PM

Where as I think that sucide is selfish in a way, I do understand that these are people who have been hurting. I've been depressed before and I know what its like. My heart aches for Mindy and her family, especially her kids. She was hurting and I am willing to bet that most people either turned the other way and ignored it or didn't care to listen when she really needed it.

People who are depressed don't always say "I need help" in those words, sometimes they ask for help win ways that they don't use words at all, maybe by actions or what not. But they do ask, the problem is, is anyone ever listening.

I was shocked to hear the news and my heart breaks for them. I  hope that she can rest peacefully now. Thats all I can say. I loved her music and she will be missed. Not just by her family and friends but by those of us who knew her music as well.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 61 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 8:03 PM

I've been through depression and thought about it before. If you haven't been through it, you really don't understand. Yes kids need their parents.But at the time, my way of thinking, is they would be better off without me. I was just a roadblock in their life.

MrsShipley21
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 8:07 PM

 Some people do not have there heads straight.

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