Okay well first of all, I know something happened to me when i was younger. I just don't have any memories of it. I get these weird experiences I can hear myself say things, like telling myself no one is coming to save me, my body tenses up like I'm being held down, and i choke myself sometime i grab my chin and say look at me, then when i open my eyes i cry.Then after its all over,I'm just tired, and i cant connect what happened to anything, like it doesn't mean anything. It doest happen often, usually from stress or not enough sleep. I currently don't have insurance/am waiting for it to kick in. so I'm waiting on a therapist.
Point is i called my SO and he knows about it, and told me tonight that i can over come it, and was trying to say positive things. I asked him how can i overcome what i don't know. then he rambled and said i hate to be harsh but you need to get over it. like who the fuck are you to tell me to get over something that feels so terrifying that i cant even describe it? I'm so upset. I feel like no one will truly get where I'm coming from, and sometimes i feel crazy. I try to keep calm whenever I start to feel scared or whatever is happening. I just don't want to hurt our baby because of this stress or emotions that i get. Is there anyone out there that has dealt with past trauma while pregnant? Or just in general? Im lost