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Are You Selfish? I Am And Proud To Be - 3rd UC Baby ** Possible TMI Picture**

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**There is a picture of baby and I just after birth. Like JUST AFTER. Nothing is 'showing', but if you don't want to see it you might just click back.**

According to some (not just on CM, but IRL) I am selfish for the children I have, and the way they were birthed. It's ok though. I love them. I love the choices I made on how and where they were birthed. I would, and might, do it again. ;)

One person's selfish choice is another person's correct choice. If we want to be eeal about this, we are all selfish. We decide what is right because of what we think, feel, know, want, fear, believe, hope for, etc... We are always going to be viewed as selfish by somebody. Who cares!

My last baby was born at home. She was our 5th home birth. Her home birth may have been selfish to some. However, I'm sure that I would have NEVER been allowed to go just shy of 43 weeks if I birthed in the hospital. I would have had to force her out before she was ready. I would have had interventions that I did not want pushed on me. With the size she was, I might have also ended up with a cesarean because I would not have been able to birth her on my back. It would not have been possible to get her out that way. I know this for a fact. However, some see this as selfish on my part. :(

Just because it's not the choice many women would make doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just different. Everyone needs to make the choice they are most comfortable with.

For every selfish mother here... Those who birthed at home, in the hospital, in a birthing center, cesarean section, unassisted, midwife assisted, OB assisted, vaginal, natural, with pain medications... Post your baby pictures...

Show off your babies!!!

This is the fast story of my last birth. Let us see if the pictures pull up (I'm mobile and trying this mulitple uploading trick).

Jan 8, 2013

42 weeks 5 days

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Home Water Birth (birth weight 10lb 11oz)

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Joy while I was showering. DH cleaning her up as she pinks up.

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Joy's First Day

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Our Family

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Our Joy, 5 weeks later.

5 Weeks

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by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:01 AM
Replies (351-360):
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you are selfish. Good for you and congrats!

by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this

beautiful family!

by Anonymous on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I love your *selfish* choices and I wish every day that I'd had no medical intervention in my births. Beautiful family!!! Love love love!
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:29 PM
3 moms liked this
Both of my boys were C-sections. My first was an emergent after a failed induction at 43 weeks. I labored HARD for 24 hours (plus 16 hours of semi-hard, early induction contractions) and dilated to 8... Then nothing.

Did the birthing ball, showers, walked (ok waddled), tried the tub but for some reason that made me nauseous, every trick the labor nurses and my coach had. Still nothing. Then baby started having decels. I didn't want a c-section so we tried yet more position changes, increased my IV fluids in case I was getting dehydrated, nothing worked. So I ended up with a c-section after all that work. Oh, and the pit was off four hours after it got turned on so that was pretty darn close to a "natural" labor.

I STILL got told I was lazy, selfish, and took the "easy way out." Excuse me? I did 24 hours of hard contractions with no pain relief. Since when is that lazy? This from the same people that were calling every 20 minutes wanting to know "hasn't she had it yet?!?"

ODS was a 9 pound baby, and they discovered during my C-section that most of my pelvic ligaments are calcified from a pelvic fracture I had as a teenager. There was literally no way he could come out. All my aromatherapy, yoga, meditation, and other preparation couldn't change that. They even had a hard time disengaging his head because my pelvis had so little flexibility.

When the time came to have YDS, I opted for a repeat c-section for a couple reasons...

One, because of my pelvic anatomy, and two, because he had aortic stenosis which would have made even an easy vaginal delivery very risky.

So, with him, I had the easiest c-section and an awesome recovery. He got his heart fixed at 18 hours old and after 8 days in NICU came home, and has done amazing. You would never guess he ever had anything wrong these days.

After that, I got the lazy/easy-way-out comments too.

In terms of public opinion, there is clearly no right way to go about getting a kid from inside of you to outside of you. No matter what you do, you're wrong.

So I say screw it, do whatever you feel is right for you!
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by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:33 PM
1 mom liked this
I had a at home water birth for my first child. I loved it and will definitely do it again.
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by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:33 PM
1 mom liked this
What idiot said you were selfish? It's selfish to schedule your baby's birth to not interfere with your personal schedule which is what Doctors do! Ugh this burns me up just thinking about it! Luckily my children decided they wanted to meet me before I was scheduled to be induced.
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by Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:40 PM
Your pictures are beautiful. #2 was especially beautiful and made my heart ache. I desperately wanted a natural birth for baby #2 after and awful cs with #1. Unfortunately my water broke, she flipped and was breech and I had yet another traumatic experience. I cried for weeks. Your picture brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your experience!!
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by Emerald Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:44 PM
2 moms liked this
I can't wait to show off my little guy. I just hope he is

I also can't wait to have my first home/water birth experience.
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by Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:47 PM
I don't think you are selfish at all. I think natural childbirth is the most wonderful experience a.d the more natural the more of a wonderful experience. I was fortunately blessed with 6 short labors 12 hours was my 1st and each one got shorter. My 2 nd child was breach so at 10 cm they found this out when I told them I wanted to push. I did not have an I.V. and the nurses started rushing around because they were having a hard time getting an I.V. in. My husband had to tell them to just calm down cus they were freaking me out. The Dr got it in and I was knocked out for 6 hrs. I was lucky with my 3rd baby. I was given a choice if I wanted a planned c-section or a VBAC. I chose the VBAC the labor short and I gave birth before the Dr got there. So I of course chose natural for the other 3 babies I had but the Dr did make sure and I had to remind the nurses that once I was at 5 cm then the Dr would get to the hospital. Once I would get to 5 cm the babies were born within the hour. I loved the pregnant part and the labor. I was very fortunate to have very easy times. I am now 50 and no more babies for me except my grand babies and I do miss it all. My youngest was born when I was 41 and I knew it would not be fair to anymore cus of my age. I didn't want to look like I was my childs grandma when they were in grade school or be to old for when they grew up and look like a great grandma. Sorry for writing my story but The only time I think a woman could be selfish is if they are capable of having children but they are worried of stretch marks and gaining weight so they hire a surrogate to have the baby for them.
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by Freebirther on Feb. 18, 2013 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this
I would bet my family of 10 is less wasteful than the average family of 5.

Quoting rsmama:

I have no problem with how women choose to birth their children. It's really their own personal business.

However, how many children women/couples choose to have DOES affect us all. I wish people would make wiser choices when planning their families...future generations would thank you.
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