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Are You Selfish? I Am And Proud To Be - 3rd UC Baby ** Possible TMI Picture**

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**There is a picture of baby and I just after birth. Like JUST AFTER. Nothing is 'showing', but if you don't want to see it you might just click back.**

According to some (not just on CM, but IRL) I am selfish for the children I have, and the way they were birthed. It's ok though. I love them. I love the choices I made on how and where they were birthed. I would, and might, do it again. ;)

One person's selfish choice is another person's correct choice. If we want to be eeal about this, we are all selfish. We decide what is right because of what we think, feel, know, want, fear, believe, hope for, etc... We are always going to be viewed as selfish by somebody. Who cares!

My last baby was born at home. She was our 5th home birth. Her home birth may have been selfish to some. However, I'm sure that I would have NEVER been allowed to go just shy of 43 weeks if I birthed in the hospital. I would have had to force her out before she was ready. I would have had interventions that I did not want pushed on me. With the size she was, I might have also ended up with a cesarean because I would not have been able to birth her on my back. It would not have been possible to get her out that way. I know this for a fact. However, some see this as selfish on my part. :(

Just because it's not the choice many women would make doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just different. Everyone needs to make the choice they are most comfortable with.

For every selfish mother here... Those who birthed at home, in the hospital, in a birthing center, cesarean section, unassisted, midwife assisted, OB assisted, vaginal, natural, with pain medications... Post your baby pictures...

Show off your babies!!!

This is the fast story of my last birth. Let us see if the pictures pull up (I'm mobile and trying this mulitple uploading trick).

Jan 8, 2013

42 weeks 5 days

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Home Water Birth (birth weight 10lb 11oz)

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Joy while I was showering. DH cleaning her up as she pinks up.

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Joy's First Day

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Our Family

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Our Joy, 5 weeks later.

5 Weeks

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by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:01 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:27 AM
She's beautiful!!
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by Buzz Lightyear on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:27 AM

I'm whatever on the vitamin k, but really into the pku (mostly due to some horror stories my mom told me) but still. why don't you pku?

I get that about the weight, but my ds was 39w4ishd and 9lb10.5oz and the doctor wanted to do a 24 hour sugar testing and a blood test (can't remember exactly why, but it was sugar related) and was told that it was pretty standard for baby's born over 9lbs. maybe I missed something.

Quoting kcangel63:

I don't do the Vit k or PKU. Some do. I just chose not to. With her size, that was just due to being almost 3 weeks past my EDD. ;)

Quoting bustybee:

I'd totally homebirth, if I had a midwife and ready access to a hospital :) my biggest fear is hemorraging like I did with my first.

I do have a question. what about the vitamin k and pku they do at the hospital when the baby is first born. do you get that done? also did you worry about your dd's size and sugar levels right after she was born?


by Emerald Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:28 AM
LOL! Some would say so. Oh well. ;)

Quoting Anonymous:

Breeder Rat! Time to get sterilized!

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by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:29 AM
Thank you for this : ) I had a hospital birth. It was uncomfortable for me. Then my son was kept in the nicu for "observation" and never had a diagnosis. It was horrible, and I never got to bond with him like I wanted too. And my husband couldn't stay at the hospital with us. It sucked. I really want a home birth next time. Your daughter is precious!
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by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:30 AM

Ohh I see. Well, I think that would only be true if the birth was high risk, or the mom didn't want to and was too scared to let labor do it's thing. Both are pretty unlikely to occur in a chosen homebirth from what I've read.

Quoting SimplyErathy:

iv heard home birthers called selfish becasue some feel its more for mom then anything and that they are putting baby in harms way -_-

were planning a home water birth for baby #3 when we get pregnant :)

Quoting Annettey19:

I always heard that C-sections were the "selfish" choice I thought. I guess women just can't win with their birthing choices! 

Quoting kcangel63:

It is an ongoing thing. Big families and home birth posts in different places. LOL!

Quoting Annettey19:

Beautiful kids! And how are you selfish for a home birth?

by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:30 AM

I had an emergency C section with my first one also...she was breech. Then the next 2 were planned. I always wanted to have a natural birth, but they told me that I couldn't. I never got to see mine gooey either...only in the pics my husband took. I couldn't even tell you what an umbilical chord looks like b4 they cut it. DH said it looks totally different then after they clamp it. They didnt even let my DH cut the chord for any of our kids....doctors are just assholes with a schedule now days.

Quoting 209mom4you:

I was really dissapointed over it actually.

Quoting kcangel63:

Oh she was gooey too. My fingers stuck together. Even after showering and scrubbing, I was finding the vernix on my legs and chest. LOL

That too bad they cleaned yours up so quickly.

Quoting 209mom4you:

I always wished I could see my kids all gooey...... i had emergency c section with number 1 and a scheduled with number 2 and they always wiped the boys down before showing them to me.. I never saw a "gooey" baby before thank you.

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:32 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm actually glad I had a hospital birth. Home birth just wouldn't have been for me, and after having her, I can say that with confidence. I don't think anything is wrong with people who do it. It's just a preference. I didn't start labor on my own even hours after my water broke. Actually, it took AGES with Pitocin for me to even feel contractions or pain. And I ended up getting an episiotomy because after a certain point of pushing, she was stuck. They could see her head but it wasn't moving and I was getting exhausted, so for that, I am very thankful that I got the epi, though it only completely numbed half of my body. The other was only partially numb to where I could still move that leg on my own, feel my back labor and some contractions, and I could still tell when I needed to push.
Edit: I do kind of wish I could have gotten a c- section though. It seems like I barely had her make it out. I asked the nurses about some of my pain, and they said it sounds like her head scraped my bones, and 8 weeks later, my episiotomy is healed great, but my pubic bone feels sore and bruised to touch, and (tmi) my clit hurts sometimes now. I have a feeling I would have had a c-section had she been any bigger. I know the recovery is tougher, but I really don't appreciate pain in my vaginal region.
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by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:33 AM
1 mom liked this

She is adorable! and I would never bash a woman for having a home birth however it's not something I would ever do.  I had both my kids in a hopsital and had an amazing experiance both times.

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:33 AM

 While I myself would never have a homebirth (I'm far too paranoid) I don't think it's a selfish decision. It's just not 1 I, myself would make. You have healthy babies at home. I don't really see anything selfish about that.

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:35 AM
I so wish I could have had a home birth or at least a birthing center. Thanks to "high risk" a mid-wife won't even look at me. But I did have my natural birth in the hospital. Congrats on another beautiful baby. :)
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