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Are You Selfish? I Am And Proud To Be - 3rd UC Baby ** Possible TMI Picture**

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**There is a picture of baby and I just after birth. Like JUST AFTER. Nothing is 'showing', but if you don't want to see it you might just click back.**


According to some (not just on CM, but IRL) I am selfish for the children I have, and the way they were birthed. It's ok though. I love them. I love the choices I made on how and where they were birthed. I would, and might, do it again. ;)


One person's selfish choice is another person's correct choice. If we want to be eeal about this, we are all selfish. We decide what is right because of what we think, feel, know, want, fear, believe, hope for, etc... We are always going to be viewed as selfish by somebody. Who cares!


My last baby was born at home. She was our 5th home birth. Her home birth may have been selfish to some. However, I'm sure that I would have NEVER been allowed to go just shy of 43 weeks if I birthed in the hospital. I would have had to force her out before she was ready. I would have had interventions that I did not want pushed on me. With the size she was, I might have also ended up with a cesarean because I would not have been able to birth her on my back. It would not have been possible to get her out that way. I know this for a fact. However, some see this as selfish on my part. :(


Just because it's not the choice many women would make doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just different. Everyone needs to make the choice they are most comfortable with.

For every selfish mother here... Those who birthed at home, in the hospital, in a birthing center, cesarean section, unassisted, midwife assisted, OB assisted, vaginal, natural, with pain medications... Post your baby pictures...


Show off your babies!!!










This is the fast story of my last birth. Let us see if the pictures pull up (I'm mobile and trying this mulitple uploading trick).





Jan 8, 2013


42 weeks 5 days

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Home Water Birth (birth weight 10lb 11oz)

Uploaded with Imgupr


Joy while I was showering. DH cleaning her up as she pinks up.

Uploaded with Imgupr


Joy's First Day

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Our Family


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Our Joy, 5 weeks later.

5 Weeks

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Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:01 AM
Replies (461-470):
CutieCrab
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 7:54 AM

 I would love to do a home birth!!  But am scared! Good for you!!  Maybe next time, I could do a home birth! Good for you!!  Kudos!  Beautiful family!! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 53 on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:24 AM

 Awww...she's beautiful!  Congrats!!  My first was an emergency c-section because he was in distress, he had to be in the NICU for 7 days for antibiotics because my placenta was badly infected and he was sick because of it.  My second I tried so hard for a vbac and my dr's were on board for it.  They let me go past my due date. I went into labor and was in labor 20+ hours....got the epi (mistake) then after 20 hours or so I developed a fever of 104 and they decided it was time for a c-section and I was only at a 6, so there went my planned Vbac.  I was the one that had the problems that time and almost died during the c-section...lost so much blood I needed blood transfusions.  So no more babies for me.  I still have problems dealing with the fact that I will never birth a baby from my vagina...I just want that feeling of..WOW I did it.   I get jealous of women who could do it naturally since I couldn't. 

Templeoftrust
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:30 AM

You have a beautiful family. Congrats on your newest lo. You have amazing strength to have 7 babies! I dont think its a selfish act, every person is different and because their choices in birthing are different doesnt make them selfish. You have to go with what makes you comfortable and happy.

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers




Daisypath Anniversary tickers

mommie2twogirls
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:38 AM

 There is always that chance and that is why a good midwife reviews each case and makes sure that the mother and baby are the lowest possible risk, I have seen a mom do a home birth that I honestly felt her baby should have been removed from her care and she should have been charged with child endangerment, when she couldnt find a midwife to take the case, she decided to go unassisted less then a year after an emergency c section, she put herself and her baby at great risk not to mention she did her own prenatial care and was drinking during pregnancy, women like that who then run in to problems (thankfully she did not and baby was fine) give home birth the bad rep. I would never ever suggest that a woman who is uncomfortable with the idea even attempt it, its just an unnec stress, however the risk is not any higher then with a hospital birth and it's been proven you are more likely to run in to an emergency at the hospital


Quoting Anonymous:

I have a very open mind about a lot of things, but there is always that unexpected emergency and then what?

Quoting mommie2twogirls:

 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22015871


 


it actually appears to be slightly safer.... not really enough of a gap to even say one is safer then the other..... typically if you are home birthing you know log before labor that something is wrong and a home birth wouldnt be safe. I ran in to that with my planned home birth, i knew something was wrong, i spoke to my midwife about it, we did the testing (an ultrasound) and found out i had placentia previa, we decided a hospital birth would be safer for me, I was able to have a healthy non medicated (kinda... I had to be induced) birth and a happy healthy outcome, a good midwife teaches you how to read your body, and as i have always said, if you the mom to be has any doubt in your mind, go to the hospital that doubt is there for a reason ya know? hopefully you open your mind a little bit to see when done right it is just as safe as at the hospital. even if you open your mind to that FACT it just may not be something for you, and that is fine you don't have to do it but dont judge others for chosing it


 


Quoting Anonymous:


I think a home birth is selfish because if that baby needed immediate medical care she would not of had it. I prefer the safest possible birth for my child. 


 


 


 

tallmom1
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:50 AM

Seriously! That is the coolest pic ever! I love how curly and perfect your amb. cord was...It shows you took very good care of yourself and baby while preg. Good job mommy!!!

NYChicago
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:48 PM

I don't get why a home birth would be selfish. Every family has to do what they feel is best for them. Joy certainly doesn't look any worse for the wear! What a beautiful little girl, and some head of hair, huh? :) I just say congratulations on your newest addition. I was in the OR having my twins (they do that just in case a c-section is needed) but I was able to birth naturally. Well, as natural an epidural and spinal can be, LOL! I don't regret my decision to use painkillers or give birth in a hospital. I guess that makes me selfish, too, right? Hahahaha!

Bonneata
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:24 PM

She's gorgous! Congrats on a successful home birth. It is not selfish woman having been giving birth at home for 1000s of years. I am jealous I wanted a water birth for my baby maybe the next one. My first I might as well have been at home.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 54 on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:47 PM
My issue is not with the way someone chooses to give birth but by how many kids they bring into the world. Are you able to support them on your own without WIC or govt assistance? Are you able to give ample attention to each kid? There's a psychological disorder some women have that they are addicted to being pregnant and having newborns because they love the attention. I just can't see the need or the desire to have 7 or 8 kids. How can you give your all to them when your time is spread so thinly? How do you have time for yourself or your husband? Sorry If I sound wrong, I don't mean to come off rude but constant breeding is an issue. Why is everyone trying to octomom or beat out the Duggars these days? Is it for attention?
stickyfingers
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:49 PM
Congrats! What a cutie!
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jle127431
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:19 PM
beautiful...
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