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Are You Selfish? I Am And Proud To Be - 3rd UC Baby ** Possible TMI Picture**

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**There is a picture of baby and I just after birth. Like JUST AFTER. Nothing is 'showing', but if you don't want to see it you might just click back.**


According to some (not just on CM, but IRL) I am selfish for the children I have, and the way they were birthed. It's ok though. I love them. I love the choices I made on how and where they were birthed. I would, and might, do it again. ;)


One person's selfish choice is another person's correct choice. If we want to be eeal about this, we are all selfish. We decide what is right because of what we think, feel, know, want, fear, believe, hope for, etc... We are always going to be viewed as selfish by somebody. Who cares!


My last baby was born at home. She was our 5th home birth. Her home birth may have been selfish to some. However, I'm sure that I would have NEVER been allowed to go just shy of 43 weeks if I birthed in the hospital. I would have had to force her out before she was ready. I would have had interventions that I did not want pushed on me. With the size she was, I might have also ended up with a cesarean because I would not have been able to birth her on my back. It would not have been possible to get her out that way. I know this for a fact. However, some see this as selfish on my part. :(


Just because it's not the choice many women would make doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just different. Everyone needs to make the choice they are most comfortable with.

For every selfish mother here... Those who birthed at home, in the hospital, in a birthing center, cesarean section, unassisted, midwife assisted, OB assisted, vaginal, natural, with pain medications... Post your baby pictures...


Show off your babies!!!










This is the fast story of my last birth. Let us see if the pictures pull up (I'm mobile and trying this mulitple uploading trick).





Jan 8, 2013


42 weeks 5 days

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Home Water Birth (birth weight 10lb 11oz)

Uploaded with Imgupr


Joy while I was showering. DH cleaning her up as she pinks up.

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Joy's First Day

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Our Family


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Our Joy, 5 weeks later.

5 Weeks

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by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:01 AM
Replies (471-480):
sweetieiv
by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Aww that's one of the cutest breast feeding picture I have ever seen. Wow but almost 11lbs? Yikes that's one big baby. Congratulations.
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AutymsMommy
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:27 PM
1 mom liked this


Not everyone is trying to "beat" the Duggars. Some faiths believe that a couple should have as many children as possible; your entire reply infers that the only reason to have children is a selfish desire for attention or *more* children and you are completely neglecting the role a person's religion/faith may play in the decision to have more children.

On that note, I belong to a large Catholic homeschool co-op. Having only 3 children myself, I'm the odd one out; most of the families have 4+ children (and many upwards of 7 or 8 children). All the large families I know (through the co-op) are close, affectionate, well bonded, and are more than able to give their children attention (and their marriages appear great as well). As for time alone with the spouse, I can't imagine why the number of children would impact that really; sitters are available for hire for date nights, children have bedtimes, etc... just as in a small family mom and dad often have "alone time" after the children are in bed for the night.

Quoting Anonymous:

My issue is not with the way someone chooses to give birth but by how many kids they bring into the world. Are you able to support them on your own without WIC or govt assistance? Are you able to give ample attention to each kid? There's a psychological disorder some women have that they are addicted to being pregnant and having newborns because they love the attention. I just can't see the need or the desire to have 7 or 8 kids. How can you give your all to them when your time is spread so thinly? How do you have time for yourself or your husband? Sorry If I sound wrong, I don't mean to come off rude but constant breeding is an issue. Why is everyone trying to octomom or beat out the Duggars these days? Is it for attention?



I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














Anonymous
by Anonymous 54 on Feb. 19, 2013 at 5:52 PM
She didnt say she was part of a religious sect did she? and Who is going to babysit 7 kids? You're deluded. For the sects who believe in breeding as much as possible I hope they have the money to take care of these kids and put them through college so that they can be productive members of society. Have as many kids as you want as long as you don't dare rely on the system. With 7 kids she's getting a nice income tax check I'm sure. Women who keep pushing out kids need to have psychological testing because most can't afford it and most don't have the resources to take care of a bus load of kids. So why do they do it?
kcangel63
by Freebirther on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:23 PM
I took her cord and dehydrated it into a heart. LOL

Uploaded with Imgupr


Quoting tallmom1:

Seriously! That is the coolest pic ever! I love how curly and perfect your amb. cord was...It shows you took very good care of yourself and baby while preg. Good job mommy!!!

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kcangel63
by Freebirther on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:34 PM
Yes we can support our family. We are not rich in money, but we make up for it with happiness. We don't have many bills, so that helps. We only need to pay electric, water/sewer, and insurance monthly. Then there's just basic living (food, gas, clothes, etc...).

My kids are with me most of the day, every day. We homeschool. They have LOTS of mom and dad time. We run our own businesses, so get to spend time at home together a lot. DH or I will take a few kids, or one kid, out to hang out.

Hubby and I obviously have plenty of time together. LOL! We don't have much if any alone time right now. Baby is only 6 weeks, so I can't leave her anywhere. My oldest is almost 15. She will watch the kids for a short time once in a while. Normally I'd rather just spend time as a family.

I know many don't want a big family. I love it. My kids are awesome. They have their moments of bickering, but they are everything I would ever want in kids. I can't understand why some would want only one, or no kids at all. It's not that it's wrong. It's just not what "I" want for my life.

:)





Quoting Anonymous:

My issue is not with the way someone chooses to give birth but by how many kids they bring into the world. Are you able to support them on your own without WIC or govt assistance? Are you able to give ample attention to each kid? There's a psychological disorder some women have that they are addicted to being pregnant and having newborns because they love the attention. I just can't see the need or the desire to have 7 or 8 kids. How can you give your all to them when your time is spread so thinly? How do you have time for yourself or your husband? Sorry If I sound wrong, I don't mean to come off rude but constant breeding is an issue. Why is everyone trying to octomom or beat out the Duggars these days? Is it for attention?
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kcangel63
by Freebirther on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:42 PM
We are religious, but not exactly part of a "sect". We more church at home right now. We do go to our local church from time to time. Amazingly enough, I'm one of many LDS members here with 6, 7, 8+ children. Most wards/branches I've attended only have 1-3 kids.

I could easily find someone willing to watch my kids. Since I have several friends with families my size, their kids the same ages, they enjoy having them over. Funny enough, two are usually asking to have them over.

As for the tax return. I must be doing something wrong. I'm seeing all these people getting 7-15 Thousand dollars back. How in the world does that happen? I do get a little back. We put that into our family, schooling, house/car repairs, and our businesses.



Quoting Anonymous:

She didnt say she was part of a religious sect did she? and Who is going to babysit 7 kids? You're deluded. For the sects who believe in breeding as much as possible I hope they have the money to take care of these kids and put them through college so that they can be productive members of society. Have as many kids as you want as long as you don't dare rely on the system. With 7 kids she's getting a nice income tax check I'm sure. Women who keep pushing out kids need to have psychological testing because most can't afford it and most don't have the resources to take care of a bus load of kids. So why do they do it?
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bry36
by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:48 PM

 Home birth scares me maybe because my DS had a lot of issues when he was born and maybe wouldn't have made it if we hadn't been at the hospital and most of them caused by my doctor letting me go so past due( 42.5 weeks ) so I was gratefulthat we were there .But if I would have been induced when I asked to be 2 weeks earlier more than likely he wouldn't have aspirated the meconium but that wasn't the only issue but a major one .

But BTW shes so stinking cute love the little thumb sucking pic

kcangel63
by Freebirther on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:30 PM
LOL! Unless I start shooting out multiples over and over, I'm not catching up with them either. I'm 33. No way I'm going to have the ability for a few more. ;P

Quoting AutymsMommy:


Not everyone is trying to "beat" the Duggars. Some faiths believe that a couple should have as many children as possible; your entire reply infers that the only reason to have children is a selfish desire for attention or *more* children and you are completely neglecting the role a person's religion/faith may play in the decision to have more children.

On that note, I belong to a large Catholic homeschool co-op. Having only 3 children myself, I'm the odd one out; most of the families have 4+ children (and many upwards of 7 or 8 children). All the large families I know (through the co-op) are close, affectionate, well bonded, and are more than able to give their children attention (and their marriages appear great as well). As for time alone with the spouse, I can't imagine why the number of children would impact that really; sitters are available for hire for date nights, children have bedtimes, etc... just as in a small family mom and dad often have "alone time" after the children are in bed for the night.


Quoting Anonymous:

My issue is not with the way someone chooses to give birth but by how many kids they bring into the world. Are you able to support them on your own without WIC or govt assistance? Are you able to give ample attention to each kid? There's a psychological disorder some women have that they are addicted to being pregnant and having newborns because they love the attention. I just can't see the need or the desire to have 7 or 8 kids. How can you give your all to them when your time is spread so thinly? How do you have time for yourself or your husband? Sorry If I sound wrong, I don't mean to come off rude but constant breeding is an issue. Why is everyone trying to octomom or beat out the Duggars these days? Is it for attention?




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jamiebell
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:01 PM
That's amazing, I love every bit of what you said/how you feel. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone!


Quoting kcangel63:

Yes we can support our family. We are not rich in money, but we make up for it with happiness. We don't have many bills, so that helps. We only need to pay electric, water/sewer, and insurance monthly. Then there's just basic living (food, gas, clothes, etc...).



My kids are with me most of the day, every day. We homeschool. They have LOTS of mom and dad time. We run our own businesses, so get to spend time at home together a lot. DH or I will take a few kids, or one kid, out to hang out.



Hubby and I obviously have plenty of time together. LOL! We don't have much if any alone time right now. Baby is only 6 weeks, so I can't leave her anywhere. My oldest is almost 15. She will watch the kids for a short time once in a while. Normally I'd rather just spend time as a family.



I know many don't want a big family. I love it. My kids are awesome. They have their moments of bickering, but they are everything I would ever want in kids. I can't understand why some would want only one, or no kids at all. It's not that it's wrong. It's just not what "I" want for my life.



:)











Quoting Anonymous:

My issue is not with the way someone chooses to give birth but by how many kids they bring into the world. Are you able to support them on your own without WIC or govt assistance? Are you able to give ample attention to each kid? There's a psychological disorder some women have that they are addicted to being pregnant and having newborns because they love the attention. I just can't see the need or the desire to have 7 or 8 kids. How can you give your all to them when your time is spread so thinly? How do you have time for yourself or your husband? Sorry If I sound wrong, I don't mean to come off rude but constant breeding is an issue. Why is everyone trying to octomom or beat out the Duggars these days? Is it for attention?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
bleumonster
by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:06 PM

agreed.  also as long as u had a midwife and a plan if something went wrong how is that selfish?


Quoting Mamabear010:

All humans are selfish by nature. In fact, all species are selfish. It's how we survive as a whole. So to me there is nothing wrong with being selfish. It's a flipping instinct for goodness sake.

As far as home births go. I'm pro choice. I believe women have the right to do what ever they please with their bodies.



Kim  

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