Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Am I out of line?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ok, so my eldest child is 7 and in first grade (I have 4 children total, the youngest is 4 weeks old) We have a swingset with a fort in our back yard.  We live on a military post so it is rather safe.  My daughter and our next door neighbor are playing in my back yard when another child that my daughter knows from class walks up.  She wants to play as well but I have the rule that I must meet parents, they must know wherei live and have a phone number, just in case, before I let a child play on our playset.  The parent refuses to come over so I refuse to let the child play on the play set.  Am I wrong?  Is this how parents parent now a days?  (I ask because the girls parents yelled at me for wanting to meet her).




Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:07 AM
Replies (41-50):
Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:04 AM

 


Quoting JLS2388:

Like I said, it is common in my neighborhood and at this point, I would probably stay out of it

 

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting JLS2388:

I am a person who lives in a neighborhood where this kind of thing happens a lot. I don't approve of young children wandering around on their own but it happens and unless I plan on watching these kids full time, there isn't anything I can do. We live in an apartment complex and I told to the on site policeman about it. He said that as long as there is a parent or older sibling 12 or older at home, legally there is nothing he can do

 

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting JLS2388:

Wait, so it's her job to police this kid? She has 4 of her own, has offered to let this child play over if she could just meet the parents and they can't be bothered but she should go look for them? I don't agree with letting a child that young wander around but she can't mother the whole neighborhood.

 

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting bluedolly01:

Nope not out of line at all. We used to have a little boy who would come and play in the park in our street with some of the other neighbourhood kids, no one knew who this poor guy was, where he lived, never met his parents nothing.

This poor kid would wander the streets at 5.30 am and still be wandering at 8-9.00at night. HE WAS 5.

Anyway one day he got injured (broken foot) and no one had anyway of contacting his parents ended up calling an ambulance and police. All three kids were taken away by Children's Services.

 

 Where were you and your neighbors when this little boy was wandering the streets morning and night by himself at such a young age? Why would you not go out of your way to find out where he lived or at least call someone to alert them about the boy wandering the streets alone?  You seriously had to wait until he had an accident to step in and finally do something? Jesus christ, I don't think I'd like you or any one of your neighbors living in my neighborhood. 

 

 

It is EVERY ADULTS RESPOSIBILITY to do something about a 5 year old child they see wandering the streets morning and night. What kind of person are you anyway? You'd honestly be like the OP and do nothing but tsk tsk  to your neighbors about the 5 yr old you see wandering around until the child got hurt?  Unfreaking real.

 

 

This is not about a child that the OP and neighbors knew a parent or older child was at the child's home, this was about a 5 year old child wandering the streets that the OP admitted, she and the and the neighbors did not know where he lived.  

In other words, no one in the neighborhood could be bothered to try and find out where the child lived by asking him, and no one in the neighborhood could be bothered with calling someone to check on the child so they could find out where he lived until he had an accident. 

Sorry, that is not my idea of a caring neighborhood, nor is it a neighborhood I'd ever want to live in.

 

 

 

So because it is common in your neighborhood, you would "probably stay out of it" and  let a 5 yr old child that you had no idea of where he lived or if there was anyone at his home, keep wandering the streets and have the chance of him being snatched by a pedophile or someone else with the intent of harming the child.

How very caring and neighborly of you. 

 

bluedolly01
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Don't you DARE judge me based on something that took you about 3 seconds to read online.

Did I say anywhere in my post that we didn't try to find his parents prior to the accident (he had actually been told not to tell)? Did I say anywhere in my post that we didn't notify the police or children's services before the accident?

Things work a little differently here in Australia. It can take MONTHS (years in some cases) for an investigation to even start). The little guy didnt live in our neighbourhood, his parents were drug addicts, and he wasn't attending school.

We looked after him and kept an eye on him HELL we even feed and clothed him at times. Both the police and CPS said that the way we did things was good because it got them investigating far quicker then if we had gone down the "normal" route.

I didn't have enough information to call CPS and the police didn't turn up when they were called (the very early morning and late night thing only happened a couple of times).

We did what we could for this little guy, and things worked out best for him and his siblings in the end.

So don't your dare judge me and in fact you would LOVE to have my neighbours and I in your neighbourhood because regardless of home situation we look out for ALL of the kids not just our own or those whose parents we know.

Perhaps you should learn not to quite so judgemental until you know the full story (or at let more of it), because even this is not the full story, so take your judgemental, holier than thou high horse and ride it somewhere else.

Quoting Bonita131:

 




Quoting bluedolly01:

Nope not out of line at all. We used to have a little boy who would come and play in the park in our street with some of the other neighbourhood kids, no one knew who this poor guy was, where he lived, never met his parents nothing.

This poor kid would wander the streets at 5.30 am and still be wandering at 8-9.00at night. HE WAS 5.

Anyway one day he got injured (broken foot) and no one had anyway of contacting his parents ended up calling an ambulance and police. All three kids were taken away by Children's Services.




 Where were you and your neighbors when this little boy was wandering the streets morning and night by himself at such a young age? Why would you not go out of your way to find out where he lived or at least call someone to alert them about the boy wandering the streets alone?  You seriously had to wait until he had an accident to step in and finally do something? Jesus christ, I don't think I'd like you or any one of your neighbors living in my neighborhood. 




BTW I am not the OP.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:40 PM

 


Quoting bluedolly01:

Don't you DARE judge me based on something that took you about 3 seconds to read online.

Did I say anywhere in my post that we didn't try to find his parents prior to the accident (he had actually been told not to tell)? Did I say anywhere in my post that we didn't notify the police or children's services before the accident?

Things work a little differently here in Australia. It can take MONTHS (years in some cases) for an investigation to even start). The little guy didnt live in our neighbourhood, his parents were drug addicts, and he wasn't attending school.

We looked after him and kept an eye on him HELL we even feed and clothed him at times. Both the police and CPS said that the way we did things was good because it got them investigating far quicker then if we had gone down the "normal" route.

I didn't have enough information to call CPS and the police didn't turn up when they were called (the very early morning and late night thing only happened a couple of times).

We did what we could for this little guy, and things worked out best for him and his siblings in the end.

So don't your dare judge me and in fact you would LOVE to have my neighbours and I in your neighbourhood because regardless of home situation we look out for ALL of the kids not just our own or those whose parents we know.

Perhaps you should learn not to quite so judgemental until you know the full story (or at let more of it), because even this is not the full story, so take your judgemental, holier than thou high horse and ride it somewhere else.

Quoting Bonita131:

 


 


Quoting bluedolly01:

Nope not out of line at all. We used to have a little boy who would come and play in the park in our street with some of the other neighbourhood kids, no one knew who this poor guy was, where he lived, never met his parents nothing.

This poor kid would wander the streets at 5.30 am and still be wandering at 8-9.00at night. HE WAS 5.

Anyway one day he got injured (broken foot) and no one had anyway of contacting his parents ended up calling an ambulance and police. All three kids were taken away by Children's Services.


 


 Where were you and your neighbors when this little boy was wandering the streets morning and night by himself at such a young age? Why would you not go out of your way to find out where he lived or at least call someone to alert them about the boy wandering the streets alone?  You seriously had to wait until he had an accident to step in and finally do something? Jesus christ, I don't think I'd like you or any one of your neighbors living in my neighborhood. 




BTW I am not the OP.

YOUR EXACT WORDS.


 We used to have a little boy who would come and play in the park in our street with some of the other neighbourhood kids, no one knew who this poor guy was, where he lived, never met his parents nothing.

This poor kid would wander the streets at 5.30 am and still be wandering at 8-9.00at night. HE WAS 5.

Anyway one day he got injured (broken foot) and no one had anyway of contacting his parents ended up calling an ambulance and police. All three kids were taken away by Children's Services.


Your feeble attempt at trying to cover your ass & your neighbors asses for ignoring the little boy is quite pathetic. Funny how all of a sudden your story has turned from a little boy you had no idea of where he lived, wandering the streets by himself day and night,  to you taking care of him, watching him, feeding and clothing him. 

As already said. Pathetic.

 

 

skittlefart
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:45 PM

I would more than likely do the same thing, especially for children that young. I'd want to know the parents of my child's friends at that age before I let them go out and play there.  You did fine. 

 photo f0d2fac9-968e-4f2a-b2d4-23b82e20f027_zps882254c2.jpg
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
Daisypath Wedding tickers
Zazayam
by Ruby Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:48 PM

Nope, I go by the same rule.

mewebb82
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:51 PM

I have the same rules. It's a safety/liability issue. In an emergency, I should be able to call the parents or they should be able to call me. 

sarah427
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:54 PM
if they yelled about that, they are probably the same kind of parents who would sue you when their child fell, or scraped a knee or got a chipped tooth. it is sad that the child will be missing out, but I absolutely would not allow that child in the fort.


Quoting Anonymous:

Ok, so my eldest child is 7 and in first grade (I have 4 children total, the youngest is 4 weeks old) We have a swingset with a fort in our back yard.  We live on a military post so it is rather safe.  My daughter and our next door neighbor are playing in my back yard when another child that my daughter knows from class walks up.  She wants to play as well but I have the rule that I must meet parents, they must know wherei live and have a phone number, just in case, before I let a child play on our playset.  The parent refuses to come over so I refuse to let the child play on the play set.  Am I wrong?  Is this how parents parent now a days?  (I ask because the girls parents yelled at me for wanting to meet her).





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jerseydiva
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:56 PM

I would say no, they yelled at you because you asked them if the kid could play?  I would say stay away from them then.

A_McCool
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:56 PM

I wouldn't have a problem with the kid playing at my house.  The kids in our neighborhood pretty much play everywhere.  I've banned some of the kids that are constantly causing trouble from my house, but I've never seen any of their parents.  My 6 year old daughter is allowed to go across the street and play with the neighbor kids by herself.  I only need to know parents if she is out of yelling distance or is going in anyone's house.

Texascandee
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 4:58 PM

Good rule.  I live in apts and when my gs is here, some of the kids he plays with want to come in the house because I let 2 other little boys come in.  One lives next door and the other lives across from me upstairs so I know the parents.  I do  not let other kids inside because I don't know the parents and he's not allowed in their houses either

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN