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I have lost all respect for my husband +update

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
He is such a big baby. No where near the real man I thought he was. He works 5 days a week from 10:30 to 7, has it so easy managing a little sandwich shop, yet he cries constantly about how miserable he is and how he needs more sleep. I work 7:30 to 5:30. I bring the baby with me. I leave the house to go to work 3 hours before my husband does. Every day. I take care of the baby full time, the only time he gets her is an hour or two at night for cuddles yet he's sooo tired. I wish he would wake up earlier, complain less, appreciate what he has. He thinks he has it so hard but really he's one of the laziest, whiniest men I know.

/ end vent





Update: I went to target and got: St. John's wort, vitamin C, fish oil, men's one a day as well as melatonin. I also got some Epsom salt, a head massager and a back massager. Hopefully these, in addition to better diet exercise and communication, will help get him out of this funk.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 18, 2013 at 8:04 AM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:12 AM

The way I see it, there's 1 of 2 choices.

1.) Suck it up and deal, talk to him, etc.

2.) Leave

Life is too short to be that miserable about it. Do something to change it. It's your life too. But it's true that you may not know what's going on with him internally. 

Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:12 AM

Is he snoring at night when he sleeps?  He may not be getting deep enough sleep due to his O2 intake while sleeping.  My boss has that issue, and now that he's on a Cpap, it's getting a lot better.

BlessedBeX3
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:13 AM

 he's telling you whats wrong, try just really actively listening next time he talks. If he is miserable with his job, encourage him to find a job he likes, one where he can spend more time with his family and maybe watching baby so you don't have to take her to work with you?

Lizardannie1966
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:15 AM

Ever consider the possibility that there's something going on with him physically causing his fatigue, OP?

Instead of jumping the gun, pointing fingers at the man and calling him names, get him to go to a doctor to rule out anything that might be medically causing him to be so tired.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this
He could have depression, or his b12 could be low. My body doesn't absorb b12 I have to get shots and if I miss one I am extremely tired. I could sleep 14 or more hours and still be tired. So have him get checked. Before you just say he is lazy. Oh and I take care of my ds all the time and work also.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:17 AM

There is a book about love languages i cant remember the title right now but that miht help you.

Devious333
by Ruby Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:19 AM
You didn't answer my question. You said men needed respect "unconditionally."

Anyway. You sound young and inexperienced. I'm not arguing with you about this. You have your opinions and I have mine.


Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, why would you be with someone who is like that? You don't need to respect every man just the one you are in a relationship with.



Why should respect be earned? Should love be earned as well? What if your husband said "I need respect just like you need love"? Would you deny it just because, in your eyes, respect is.to.be earned? What if he did the same with love and denied showing you love until he felt you had earned it?




Quoting Devious333:

Respect is earned. You can still lose respect for someone you love.





If my dh were to beat me and cheat on me, I should still respect him?






Quoting Anonymous:

*sigh*







So there is now something wrong and antiquated with giving your husband what he needs Within the relationship?







I bet you don't think its wrong for a man to give his wife what she needs within the relationship. In fact I bet you demand it.







Smh no wonder the divorce rate is so high.
















Quoting Devious333:

Lmao. Some people fail to realize that it's 2013, not 1913...









Quoting Anonymous:

Unconditional?? You mean there's nothing your husband could ever do to make you lose respect for him??











Quoting Anonymous:

I agree that there could be something health related that us causing him to feel like this, but I also think that you are causing damage to your marriage by not respecting your husband. Men need unconditional respect.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:33 AM
It was clear i meant men we are in relationships with...
And yes, if you choose to stay you should still respect him. Clearly you respected him enough to stay.


Lol I bet I'm older and more experienced than you... so don't patronize me. I think you sound young and inexperienced... not willing to take a little advice that might save a marriage... its more important to be right, right?


Quoting Devious333:

You didn't answer my question. You said men needed respect "unconditionally."



Anyway. You sound young and inexperienced. I'm not arguing with you about this. You have your opinions and I have mine.




Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, why would you be with someone who is like that? You don't need to respect every man just the one you are in a relationship with.





Why should respect be earned? Should love be earned as well? What if your husband said "I need respect just like you need love"? Would you deny it just because, in your eyes, respect is.to.be earned? What if he did the same with love and denied showing you love until he felt you had earned it?






Quoting Devious333:

Respect is earned. You can still lose respect for someone you love.







If my dh were to beat me and cheat on me, I should still respect him?








Quoting Anonymous:

*sigh*









So there is now something wrong and antiquated with giving your husband what he needs Within the relationship?









I bet you don't think its wrong for a man to give his wife what she needs within the relationship. In fact I bet you demand it.









Smh no wonder the divorce rate is so high.




















Quoting Devious333:

Lmao. Some people fail to realize that it's 2013, not 1913...











Quoting Anonymous:

Unconditional?? You mean there's nothing your husband could ever do to make you lose respect for him??













Quoting Anonymous:

I agree that there could be something health related that us causing him to feel like this, but I also think that you are causing damage to your marriage by not respecting your husband. Men need unconditional respect.



Wonderwoman1432
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:38 AM

You just described my son's father. That relationship is over because a partnership takes two people.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 9:39 AM
The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.

And love and respect, the love she most desires and the respect he desperately needs by Emerson Eggeriches. Both are awesome books given To us by marriage counselors.

I also really like laugh your way to a better marriage. You can find the videos on youtube.


Quoting Anonymous:

There is a book about love languages i cant remember the title right now but that miht help you.


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