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my dh won't let me bathe our dd

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
He believes it is safer of we both bathe her. And is afraid that I'd he is not there, an accident will happen. (she will get burned by the water, will drown, or just get water in her mouth. Lots of other crazy things) I understood at first, but now she is 6 months old, and he still doesn't like the idea. I have a dd from before him, and I bathed her alone and she is alive, and fine. I just don't know how long this is going to go on. He is afraid of anything happening and her getting hurt. And he gets angry with me if something happens to her. I know i could shower her by myself, but he wants us to do it together, because its safer. I am okay with that, but he works so much. He leaves at 5:30 am comes back at 6:30 pm, somethings takes a nap, or had to leave to go handle other things or his errands. When are we supposed to shower get?



Edit

He is not a creep, his is very over protective, over her and me and my other daughter. I want to know how to help him efeet over it, so I can be her mom.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:42 AM
Replies (121-130):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 16 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:44 PM

I think hes just scared that something will happen, I don't think that is cuz he dont trust you. maybe get him to sit in the bathroom when YOU bath her. tell him not to do anything just watch and see how you do it. maybe if he watches you do it by yourself he womnt be so freaked out. Also I would do the same with him. you sit in the bathroom and just watch him bath her. Being a new parent is scary stuff. How many times do mothers do stuff like this? ALOT right? so why is it not okay for a dad to be over protective and scared? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 16 on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:46 PM

Has your DH ever almost drowned? or does he know anyone who did?

SunshneDaydream
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:48 PM

 This.  All of this.

Quoting Melissa_4:

First of all, babies don't need daily baths or showers.  A bowl of warm water and a washcloth is perfectly fine for daily washing.  Second, if he's going to be trying to control what you do with your child, this is just the first step.  If you allow him to act like this, it's going to escalate to other things, like not letting you drive with the child in the car, not taking her to the playground in a few years, not letting you go out with friends, talk to friends, etc.  You are the only person who can nip this crap in the bud.

 

chalisa0
by Ruby Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Just wash her during the day and ignore him.  Don't say another word about it.  If he asks to bathe her, say "no, it's ok, she already had a bath today."  Refuse to discuss it any farther.  It is what it is.

sydjademom24
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:49 PM
This is retarded!!! Besides the few weeks after I've had a baby, I've done all the bathing. He helps if I'm sick or tired or something but he's never acted like that! That's not being protective that's being controlling! You need to put your foot down and bathe your own kid. Have a talk with him and say your perfectly capable of raising your children!! You don't go to his work and oversee what he's doing to make sure he doesn't make a mistake! Why should he do that to you? Trust me, I have 3 children... crap happens. They've cut their own/each others hair...colored on themselves with magic marker....hurt themselves/each other. My husband has never once treated me like that. He said next time just please remember to put the scissors away. Kids get hurt, bottom line! I've never left the kids alone in the tub! How hard is that concept? Your husband needs to lighten up!!



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SunshneDaydream
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:51 PM

 Sounds like he needs to smoke a doobie or crack a beer and CHILL OUT.  Or he needs therapy...

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm not sure, I sometimes think he might be, because he likes the house perfect, and will stress if it is not. He stresses about everything.

Quoting CeeGee81:

Does he have OCD?

 

LovelyMommy24
by Ruby Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:04 PM
I would just give her a bath without him.
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bmw29
by spitfire_bobbie on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:05 PM
1 mom liked this

That's not overprotective, that's controlling. :/

momma0ffive
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:16 PM
When my oldest was born I was absolutely convinced if I didn't be with him all the time something was going to happen to him, so I can understand where you're husbands is coming from. Hopefully it will just get better, let's say she is eating lunch and makes a mess she needs to bathe.... Is he going to com running home? No. he needs to see she is safe with you, even though it has nothing to do with you. Maybe wait until he comes home and tell him ooh DD made such a mess but after I bathed her she was fine..... After he starts connecting the two together he should loosen up.
Also is it possible your husband has ptsd related to something traumatic with water or the bath tub? That could cause a fear also in which case he should probably get help
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Ethans-mommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:20 PM
Its a good thing he cares so much about the safety of his child. Alot of men could careless. I would praise him for that and express to him that he needs to trust u that you wouldn't let anything happen you your dd
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