Why didn't you just put me up for adoption or let me die?
My mom accidently spilled a boiling kettle on me when I was 8 months old. I was in the hopital for nearly two months and have permanent scars to my left shoulder and most of my back.
My mom was always angry and resentful toward me. She even told me that she wasn't able to love me the same after that. She told me she got pregnant again so I would have a sibling who loved me because she couldn't.
I went through seven painful skin graft operations through my child and teen years. I was never allowed to discuss my burns or operations and was never offered any support as a child or teen struggling with image issues because I was burned.
As a teen I hated myself and thought I was a monster and a freak. If my own parents couldn't love me how could anyone else? I began to cut because I thought that is what I deserved.
As an adult I learned to cope and deal and make a good life for myself. But today my mom pulled another one of her exceptionaly mean and hurtful stunts. And now I am shoveling down Haugen Das bars and trying to fight the urge to cut. I'll be fine but I can't believe she still has so much power to hurt me. I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like if she'd been honest and let me go. I wish she had given me up for adoption I don't understand how after all these years she still wants to hurt me.