Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

ETA**help me settle this debate...honest opinions please

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 158 Replies

Ok, let's say I borrowed some money from my parents...let's say $1,000...and we've settled on an agreement to pay the money back in $200/month installments. If I have an extra amount of money, let's say $500, and I currently have a $400 balance due to my parents; is it wrong for me to spend that $500 on a quick family weekend trip (or really anything else I please) rather than pay my parents the remaining $400. Remember, we made an arrangement and I've kept my end of the deal.

If you care to, please give supporting reasons for your opinion


ETA: thank most of you for your opinions...even the ones who disagreed with me...respectfully. some of you have been very rude though.

just to address some of the replies...

many of you have said I should've paid my mom back then saved over the next few months and took a trip then. we took this trip because we have some friends who recently moved to San Antonio...neighbors for the last 12 years actually... that our kids are also very close with. we have spent nearly every day with each other since our kids were born. we have not seen each other since the move, and they offered to let us stay with them for the 3-day holiday weekend (after we told them about the money DH had won on the scratch off ticket from his company). we hadn't made the trip before because it didn't seem worth it just for a normal weekend trip...really everything just fell in place for us to be able to go this past weekend...the same circumstances would not have been there for us to have gone in a couple of months.

we didn't spend the entire $500 on the trip, so when my mom made a big deal over us going (IMO, it was more about her not coming with us than us going while owing her) I gave her the $200 we had left from the ticket winnings... 3 weeks earlier than our scheduled agreement. the reason I feel that her being upset was more about not going on the trip than us spending money is because she initially rejected the early $200 payment. had it really been about the money she would have gladly accepted it.

for those of you calling me selfish, amongst other things... I couldn't care less what you think of me. You don't know me. I will continue to live my life without one care or thought of you and what you think of me. I will however say I find it sad that some of you are mothers if the example you are setting has anything to do with how you've talked to me on this topic.

As for me burning any bridges... that is not the case. my mom and I have a very close relationship...closer than my other siblings. I have never mistreated her or taken advantage of her, and the couple...that TWO... other times she has loaned me money I have paid her back earlier than was agreed. she knows I am not going to abuse her kindness. again, I feel that her being upset was more about her not being invited on the trip with us.

I didn't take money out of my own savings for the car repairs because my mom didn't want me to. she insisted that she pay for the repairs and I would just pay her back over the next 5 months. Her reasoning is because savings is for a real emergency...medical or job loss. As I previously stated, I have paid her another $200...early. now I only owe $200 more...which  intend to go to the bank and withdraw from my savings as soon as the bank opens. I have no issue paying her back... at all. But I have a feeling when I take her the last $200 she will not just gladly accept it... she will try to tell me to "wait until it's time to pay it".

For the record, my dad and siblings agree with me.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:45 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:45 PM

bump

wkukid
by Ocean Wave on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I dont think its wrong but I feel they will. Depending on how they are they may feel you shouldn't waste money when you owe them some.

ctfirsttimemom
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:47 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't know if its "wrong" per say, but personally, if I owe a debt, especially to my Dad, I'm going to pay it back asap!  I would never want them to feel like I was taking advantage of them.

Lovin_mybaby5
by Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:47 PM

 my dh and I don't like being in debt, we will pay things off the moment we get a chance to, so Im no help. BUMP

theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:48 PM

 

I agree.  My mom gets mad at my brother for this all the time.

Quoting wkukid:

I dont think its wrong but I feel they will. Depending on how they are they may feel you shouldn't waste money when you owe them some.


 

she_walk_softly
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this

As long as you make the monthly payments on time, it's fine :)

xoch86
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:49 PM


I agree with this too

Quoting theosgirl45:


I agree.  My mom gets mad at my brother for this all the time.

Quoting wkukid:

I dont think its wrong but I feel they will. Depending on how they are they may feel you shouldn't waste money when you owe them some.





HousewifeNina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:49 PM
3 moms liked this
If you are NOT paying any interest, you should pay them back early.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lizardannie1966
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:49 PM
3 moms liked this

The responsible thing would be to give $400 out of that $500 to your parent's, to help bring your balance down and your payment arrangement paid off more quickly.

Yes, you have the arrangement but were the shoe on the other foot, would you loan someone money again that you knew could have helped pay off a balance faster?

Plan that family weekend (or whatever you wish to spend that extra money on) for when your debt is cleared, especially since it IS your parent's that you owe the money to.

Quoting Anonymous:

Ok, let's say I borrowed some money from my parents...let's say $1,000...and we've settled on an agreement to pay the money back in $200/month installments. If I have an extra amount of money, let's say $500, and I currently have a $400 balance due to my parents; is it wrong for me to spend that $500 on a quick family weekend trip (or really anything else I please) rather than pay my parents the remaining $400. Remember, we made an arrangement and I've kept my end of the deal.

If you care to, please give supporting reasons for your opinion


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:49 PM

my mom told me I have no business spending ANY unnecessary money until I've finished paying them back...that the $200 was a minimum agreement...I should give them anything extra too. the thing is, I live in Dallas. DH and I have never gone anywhere together and never taken our kids on any sort of vacation. we went to San Antonio for the weekend since it was a 3 day weekend...our kids had a blast but my mom was pissed when she saw the pics on FB.

Quoting wkukid:

I dont think its wrong but I feel they will. Depending on how they are they may feel you shouldn't waste money when you owe them some.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)