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I don't want a divorce but I am tired of my husband disrespecting me. How can I stand up for myself?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies

Long story short, my husband is an asshole. He will gladly admit it too. He loves me and he tells me that all the time. I love him too, however, I am so tired of him being disrespectful. I can tell him something and he won't believe me until one of his friends tells him the same thing. He can pitch fits sometimes (almost like a child) and when he does he can say some pretty hurtful things. Once he told me that the reason he doesn't listen to me but he does his friends is because he only listens to successful people. (I work but according to him, I don't make enough to be considered successful). Last week, we got into a huge argument and told me that the only reason he is still married to me is because of his pride (divorce would make him look bad) and because of our child. He always apologizes for saying these things but the damage has already been done. Tonight, he called me from work and questioned me on something that I have already explained to him several times before. He does this about 3-4 times during the week. If I don't answer my phone, he will leave me nasty voice messages. Often he will tell me that he has been in a car wreck or that the school has been trying to get a hold of me because something happened with our child. All lies of course. It doesn't matter if I am in the middle of a meeting, he expects me to always answer my phone. I am just so tired of this crap. I have though about leaving in the past but as soon as I start to get the courage up to leave, he starts being nice. For the past 3 months, he has been extremely nice and it has been wonderful. Now he is starting to turn back into an asshole and I don't think I can go back to living that way again. 

BTW, he was not like this when I married him. It wasn't until his 2nd/3rd deployment that he was like this. During his 3rd deployment he was made to go to anger management classes. He refuses to go to any counseling now. 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cLanief
by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:45 AM
3 moms liked this
Kick him in the fucking balls.
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cookiemonster90
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:46 AM
This

Quoting cLanief:

Kick him in the fucking balls.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cLanief
by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:48 AM
It's very simple but speaks louder than any words could ever.


Quoting cookiemonster90:

This



Quoting cLanief:

Kick him in the fucking balls.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
TiffanyRose06
by Queso<3 on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:50 AM
Tell him to get counseling or gtfo
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Mamabear010
by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:51 AM
And you want to stay married to him why? Fuck that. Frankly, he needs a wake up call. He needs to decide he wants to change.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:51 AM

I would love to however, he is a police officer and he would have me arrested. 

Quoting cLanief:

It's very simple but speaks louder than any words could ever.


Quoting cookiemonster90:

This



Quoting cLanief:

Kick him in the fucking balls.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:53 AM


Quoting Mamabear010:

And you want to stay married to him why? Fuck that. Frankly, he needs a wake up call. He needs to decide he wants to change.

Because now that I have seen that things can be good, I don't want to give up on that chance. That and our child does not take change well at all (special needs) and I am afraid of the outcome of what would happen if I did leave.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:53 AM

"I bet you think this song is about you! Don't you! don't yooouuuuuuuu!!! You're so vain....."

Anyone getting the narcissist vibe from this guy?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:54 AM
Oh tell me about it dh is a fucking dick we have three Kids together and it wont get better it gets worse....waiting for the right time to get the hell out. We have 2 good weeks and 2 bad weeks a month and that's a fucking crappy life to live.....good luck hope he changes but don't hold ur breath.
CotterpinDoozer
by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:55 AM

You may not want a divorce, but things need to change. How he is acting is not acceptable in any way. Not even in an alternate reality would this be considered ok. Next time he starts throwing around nasty statements try your best to stay calm and say something along the lines of "Until you calm down and can speak to me respectfully, I will not talk to you." Let him throw a fit, let him behave like the ass he is. There is no way I could stay with someone like this. If he won't do counseling you need to find your backbone and make it clear in no uncertain terms using little words if you have to that what he is doing is NOT acceptable and that you do not have to talk this BS from him. If he argues, disengage. If he says hurtful things, walk away. Do not engage with his BS, he will look for a reason to turn it around on you. Do not give him one.  Personally, if it was me and he pulled that crap where he doesn't believe you but does believe his friends, I would say something like "Wow, if miracles never cease, you figured something out I told you before. Good for you honey." Of course, I can be a bitch like that.


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