I don't want a divorce but I am tired of my husband disrespecting me. How can I stand up for myself?
Long story short, my husband is an asshole. He will gladly admit it too. He loves me and he tells me that all the time. I love him too, however, I am so tired of him being disrespectful. I can tell him something and he won't believe me until one of his friends tells him the same thing. He can pitch fits sometimes (almost like a child) and when he does he can say some pretty hurtful things. Once he told me that the reason he doesn't listen to me but he does his friends is because he only listens to successful people. (I work but according to him, I don't make enough to be considered successful). Last week, we got into a huge argument and told me that the only reason he is still married to me is because of his pride (divorce would make him look bad) and because of our child. He always apologizes for saying these things but the damage has already been done. Tonight, he called me from work and questioned me on something that I have already explained to him several times before. He does this about 3-4 times during the week. If I don't answer my phone, he will leave me nasty voice messages. Often he will tell me that he has been in a car wreck or that the school has been trying to get a hold of me because something happened with our child. All lies of course. It doesn't matter if I am in the middle of a meeting, he expects me to always answer my phone. I am just so tired of this crap. I have though about leaving in the past but as soon as I start to get the courage up to leave, he starts being nice. For the past 3 months, he has been extremely nice and it has been wonderful. Now he is starting to turn back into an asshole and I don't think I can go back to living that way again.
BTW, he was not like this when I married him. It wasn't until his 2nd/3rd deployment that he was like this. During his 3rd deployment he was made to go to anger management classes. He refuses to go to any counseling now.