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UPDATE:Being the "cool aunt" really sucks sometimes....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I'm that cool aunt that takes my niece for the weekend to have fun. Shes 16, I'm 27, I'm a bit younger than her mom, my sister, and I grew up baby sitting and things like that, so I love my niece as though she is my own sister. We have fun, get our nails done, all that stuff, which has slowly become less and less since I got married last year, and now I'm 5 months pregnant, but I still hang out with her, and shes helping me pick out baby stuff, and shop and things like that, so much hasn't changed, we just do it less often.

Well now, this past weekend, I hadn't really hung out with her for about a month I'd say, and so this past weekend, I decided it'd be fun to have a girls days at the mall and talk and have lunch and go shopping.

She tells me that she had sex with her boyfriend (which the boyfriend, she didn't want her mom knowing about, so she told me not to tell, which I didn't. I know my sister. She definitely wouldn't like that shes now into boys, but I figured she'd tell my sister soon enough, or she'd find out, but I wasn't going to be the one that told her), so, she had sex, with took my by surprise, because my niece is a really good girl, and I didn't think she would be having sex, but I didn't react negatively, I just asked her if she used protection, and she told me her boyfriend didn't need it because he had an injury, and that he can't have kids.....I face palmed. NEVER believe a guy when he says shit like that, I mean, shes watched the Maury show before. So I told her that even still, you still need to use protection because it also protects you from diseases, and that she needed to use condoms, and she needs to tell her mom that she has a boyfriend, so that she can also get on birth control so she doesn't end up pregnant, and she knows being pregnant is not fun, she knows what I'm going through right now, pregnancy sucks, and its even worse when you're young, and everyone is looking at you, and judging you. So just to be safe, on our way home from the mall, I stopped at a Walgreen's and grabbed two pregnancy tests, just to be safe (side note, the cashier had a chuckle, because I'm 5 months pregnant, and on my little body, you can visibly see that I'm pregnant, and he told me "I don't think you need that." to which I replied, I'm not pregnant, its for someone else, thanks for making me feel fat!...and then I laughed and walked away. His face was priceless) so we get back to my house, and I ask her to take the pregnancy test, which she did, and after she finished I went into the bathroom and waited for the test to show up negative....only it didn't. It came out positive. I had gotten another one, and made her take the second one.....positive.

 

Her boyfriend lied to her, and now shes pregnant. Now I feel stuck, and I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do, because my sister will know that I know everything, because she knows that my niece and I talk about stuff, and I have no idea what I'm going to do to try and help my niece, who is now back home at my sisters, and she hasn't told my sister anything, because I would have gotten a call by now, and my niece is texting me tell me that she doesn't know how to tell her mom, and that she needs me to tell her, or at least be there....I'll be there, but I will not tell her mom for her. She has also talked about abortion and that maybe she can get an abortion and just not tell her mom anything, to which I said no way, she has to tell her mom no matter what, but shes also talked about adoption, but she thinks she wouldn't be able to handle it, and she doesn't know if she wants to keep it, and if she does would her boyfriend be there....

I need advice guys.........What do I do?

 

ETA1: So I've decided that I'm going to go over there in a little bit. I texted my niece and told her that we need to tell her mom today, and that I was going to come pick her up from school, and that I wanted to meet her stupid ass boyfriend, and bring him along too, which is doubtful, because he sounds like a real asshole. She said that she told him at lunch, and that he told her that she was lying because he couldn't have any, and that she must have cheated. So, I'll update after I talk to my sister.

 

Update soon...I'm busy...and could barely find time to write this one.

 

Update: Okay, so yesterday I picked me niece up from school, and we went  to her house to tell her mom. Her boyfriend has broken up with her, and has already started spreading rumors about her, that shes a slut, and is pregnant with someone elses baby, because he can't have kids, and my poor niece already sees this asshole talking to another girl....I want to break him...

So, we get to my sisters, and my sister is waiting on the porch looking SOOOOOOO pissed. She said that the school called to inform her that there are rumors going around about my niece being pregnant. So...great, she didn't even get a chance to tell her mom. My niece broke down and cried, and my sister softened up, and hugged her...shes a good mom. We sat down and talked, and my niece told her everything, what her boyfriend said about how he couldn't have kids, and the rumors. My sister is more mad that this boy tricked my niece. She called his mom, and his mom informed us that he indeed did not have an injury that prevented him from having kids...so he was lying, and then my BIL came home, and we told him, and hes seeing red, of course, and wants to beat the snot out of this asshole that got my niece pregnant, but we calmed him down, and hes still mad, hes just not as mad I guess.

My sister and I talked to my niece about options. We told her anything she chose, we would support her any way we could. My niece mentioned abortion, and we talked about it, explained to her what happens during an abortion, and I could see the whole time she was looking at my tummy, with a really sad look...and she cried again, and said she didn't want an abortion, and we calmed her down, assured her that she didn't have to.

Before I left to go pick up my niece from school, I called my husband while he was at work, and asked him if he would be okay with adopting my nieces baby, if she was okay with it, and if thats what she wanted, and was quiet a minute, and then he said "We'll have to discuss that with ____, but if you're okay with it, I think we could make it work."

I'm already 5 months pregnant, and it would kind of like having twins, they'd be raised together anyways, so, why not right and I'm going to be a sahm anyways, and we have the space and we are financially stable  so...we could do it. I mentioned it to my niece and her mom, and my sister gave me a little glare...probably didn't like that I suggested that, but its my nieces choice, and I think she would have asked me anyways, and my niece cried and said "Would you really do that for me?" And I hugged her and said yes, if you wanted, and you could see your baby any time you want, you'd be a parent in her life too, along with me and "my dh, and if you changed your mind that would be okay too." And she said that she was leaning more towards adoption anyways, because she doesn't think she could be a good mom right now, and that she would rather I be the adoptive parent than some stranger....so its looking like thats the path we're going down. Which is great for everyone involved, she can live the life of a young woman, and still be a mother too, and I get another little one.

 

Today, my dh got the day off from work because it snowed, and he was telling me that when I asked him yesterday, he was still a little unsure, but after sleeping on it, he actually feels kind of excited to be adopting my nieces baby. But its still very early in this whole process, so things could change, but I don't think they will, my niece is pretty sure of herself that shes not ready to be a mom.

So that is that, so far. If anything else happens, I'll update.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2013 at 4:28 PM
Replies (31-37):
PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:08 PM

Oh god... I forgot that bit in my talk to my daughter BOYS LIE! We will be covering that right now!  I hope things go well (as well as can be expected).  *hugs*

dolphingurl1286
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Good luck
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:44 PM
1 mom liked this
Update??
dolphingurl1286
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:01 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Update??
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Update?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 5:26 PM
1 mom liked this
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:12 PM

BUMP!

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