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if your teenage son got a girl pregnant

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Would you teach him to support his baby....or teach him to move away and run from responsibilities?

I ask because in another post two women were talking about moving their sons out of the state and changing their names if their teenage son got someone pregnant. I was just wondering how many women think like that.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Replies (561-570):
PinkTink001
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:51 PM

I have two boys. Granted neither is even in school yet, but if they got a girl pregnant I would be vastly disappointed that they didn't use the protection offered and available, but I would welcome that grandbaby and love it as much as I love my own kids.

I would teach them responsibility; if you think that you're old enough/responsible enough to have sex, then you're responsible enough to be a dad. You made the choice to have sex, you learn from your decision. Sex can equal kids, now man up and be a dad.

Laurenw420
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:56 PM
2 moms liked this
But you will let your man-whore of a son ruin a girls life and then run? Thats some fucked up twisted logic...... Your sons deserve to be sterelized, and from the sounds of it, you should have been too.


Quoting Anonymous:

well spank me and call me Sally. It still doesn't changed my thinking. I'm not letting some Trollop ruin my kids lives.

Quoting Laurenw420:

Holy class slut lmao! You are such a lowlife, goid for nothing parent.... I feel sorry for your good for nothing kids too. You are the reason this world is full of shitty, deadbeat dads. Scum.





Quoting Anonymous:

I never knew last names of boys I dated in school. Everyone isn't in the same class.





Quoting Anonymous:

Why would you advise your sons to do that?  And how exactly is that even possible?  Do they not go to school?  Im pretty sure your last name is exposed in school....

Quoting Anonymous:

Where is that in writing? Well it's not illegal to give fake names. I've instructed my sons never to let girls know their real last names no matter what and I can still move them out of state. No laws against that.









Quoting sheramom4:













Quoting Anonymous:

I'd be moving him out of state, changing his name. None of my sons will be strapped with a leaching baby. So glad I will never have pregnant daughters.











 I am hoping this is a troll statement. It is also illegal to change a name in order to get out of paying child support, which belongs to the child and is their legal right. Abandonment is also both a crime and a civil action. Changing the name as a way to avoid a legal action is fraud.






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Rajeshsmom
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:56 PM

I would make my son take responsibility. I would help him because he will always be my son. But he would have to own up to what choice he made. Since sex and th consequences that come with it are adult, I would expect him to man up and act like an adult.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:05 PM

My little kids are hardly man-whores. I don't have grown kids!

Quoting Laurenw420:

But you will let your man-whore of a son ruin a girls life and then run? Thats some fucked up twisted logic...... Your sons deserve to be sterelized, and from the sounds of it, you should have been too.


Quoting Anonymous:

well spank me and call me Sally. It still doesn't changed my thinking. I'm not letting some Trollop ruin my kids lives.

Quoting Laurenw420:

Holy class slut lmao! You are such a lowlife, goid for nothing parent.... I feel sorry for your good for nothing kids too. You are the reason this world is full of shitty, deadbeat dads. Scum.





Quoting Anonymous:

I never knew last names of boys I dated in school. Everyone isn't in the same class.





Quoting Anonymous:

Why would you advise your sons to do that?  And how exactly is that even possible?  Do they not go to school?  Im pretty sure your last name is exposed in school....

Quoting Anonymous:

Where is that in writing? Well it's not illegal to give fake names. I've instructed my sons never to let girls know their real last names no matter what and I can still move them out of state. No laws against that.









Quoting sheramom4:













Quoting Anonymous:

I'd be moving him out of state, changing his name. None of my sons will be strapped with a leaching baby. So glad I will never have pregnant daughters.











 I am hoping this is a troll statement. It is also illegal to change a name in order to get out of paying child support, which belongs to the child and is their legal right. Abandonment is also both a crime and a civil action. Changing the name as a way to avoid a legal action is fraud.







MommyTo5Boys
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Okay, I will agree that the girl does have to go through all the body and hormonal changes, and that the girl is always listed as the mother on all legal paperwork when a baby is born. So in that aspect, the girl can not walk off.

But the boy still does not have the choices available to him that the girl does, and never really knows if the baby really is his until a DNA test is done. So I almost understand some boys being very reluctant in taking on a father role until they know for sure. 

But imo it is still harder for a father to walk off. Because if a mother doesn't want the responsibility she gets an abortion (of course deals with the pain of it, both physically and emotionally) and is done with it forever. It can not come back on her. If a father tries to walk out he always have to worry when his paycheck is going to get garnished, or if he gets married and then years later the 'baby' shows up that he had never wanted to have anything to do with. So that is the point of view that I am taking when I say that it is easier for a mother. Because if she doesn't want to deal with it, it's done forever. If a father doesn't want to deal with it, then he always has to wonder when it will come back to bite him.

That being said I guess there are pro's and con's to both mothers and father during pregnancy and the first few weeks of a baby's life. 


And where I am, I don't know about other states, if the mother says she does not know who the baby's father is then she can put the baby up for adoption with out the fathers consent. This makes me very sad for men who would have taken on the responsibility, but I don't think that there is a way to change it if the mother just out right claims that she doesn't know who the father is. 


I do however agree that if a boy, no matter what age, has a baby he needs to 'man up' and deal with it. If he wanted it or not doesn't matter if it's already here in in this world he needs to take care of it.

Quoting Lionpaw:

No problem, I don't take cafemom personally but am "new enough" to still want to make some friends.

As far as I am aware, dads still have to OK adoption.

What I mean really in it. Is a guy can swear he's the only one having sex with a chick, but people never really know. Just because he did have sex, doesn't make it automatically his. I've never heard a story of a baby coming out of a woman as being someone else's because the dh cheated!.... ( suragancy is totally different)..



I am also very aware women can leave their kids too after birth. Dh's first wife left the boys with himwhen he found out she cheated, was still having an affair, and not all kids were his.




But it's not frequent when a child support agency is requesting a dna sample from the mom, to prove paternity. That's proven at the hospital when baby comes out of her.

Men on the other hand, can be questioned....




Two people have a one night stand. Girl gets pregnant.

Girls body goes through changes. Girl has to deal with it.

Guy doesn't know, hadnothing happen to him.

They don't know each other.


Regardless, men can more easily not deal with it. Women have to, no matter how they do, but they have to do something because it is her body, her health....



But that's just my opinion. In regards to op, I still really hope if a teen boy makes the adult choice to have sex, he can be adult enough to handle consequences without a mom forcing one way or another.



Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

I don't want this to turn into an all out argument so please don't take my response as attacking you, but...

I again disagree. Both have the option to not have sex but that is where the man's options end. The woman still has the options of abortion or adoption, the man however does not.

A woman can not 'walk off' during her pregnancy but she can choose to abort or adopt. So there are still choices available to her.

And as far as a mother not being able to just walk away from her child .... I am raising my twin step sons who's mother just abandon them like they never existed. They were only babies when she left, they are almost 7 now and she hasn't had any contact with them what so ever or paid support in years! 


Again, not trying to argue so please do not turn this in to a name calling horrible argument like things always seem to turn out to be here in CM :)

Quoting Lionpaw:

I'm going to totally disagree!



A guy could make a choice to not have a child, don't have sex.



A girl can too, don't have sex.





When you have sex, be willing to face all possibilities pregnancy, stds, etc.





I support a woman's right to choose. It's her body going through the physical changes and delivery.



At any time a man can change his mind and walk off. A woman can not just walk off when a pregnancy is going rough.







I know logically men and women can both ditch a kid after he or she is born....





But it seems easier for men to deny a kid without a test because really, it's not a for sure thing he is the father.



A woman on the otherhand, would have to be mental to have a baby and then be like "not mine, he don't look like me" ;-)





Quoting MommyTo5Boys:

See, now I think it's easier for a girl to 'ditch responsibility' than a boy.

The girl has the option of either an abortion or adoption (if she doesn't inform the father that he is the father and says she doesn't know who the fahter is). The boy on the other hand has no option aafter conception and the girl makes the decision whether he is a father or not. 

I'm not saying it's would be easier for the girl after the baby is born because in most cases after birth the mother does take on full responsibility and the father is just a part time parent. But the Girl does have options before birth that the boy does not have. 

Quoting Lionpaw:

I have two girls. But if I had a boy that got someone pregnant, I'd make sure he was responsible.





I would help out the new mom, make sure she is seeing the dr, etc. And would make sure a dna test was done.





Regardless if itsmy grandbaby, I'd still want to help out the baby.








It's sadly easier for a guy to ditch responsibility than a gal. :(









LilySlim Weight loss tickers
IBNeaters
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:14 PM

If he thinks he's responsible enough to have sex, then he better damn well be responsible enough to take care of the baby if, God forbid, he ever gets someone pregnant.

Laurenw420
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:15 PM
But they will grow and I feel sorry for them and the poor girls whose lives they will surely ruin. They are clearly learning from the best.....


Quoting Anonymous:

My little kids are hardly man-whores. I don't have grown kids!

Quoting Laurenw420:

But you will let your man-whore of a son ruin a girls life and then run? Thats some fucked up twisted logic...... Your sons deserve to be sterelized, and from the sounds of it, you should have been too.





Quoting Anonymous:

well spank me and call me Sally. It still doesn't changed my thinking. I'm not letting some Trollop ruin my kids lives.

Quoting Laurenw420:

Holy class slut lmao! You are such a lowlife, goid for nothing parent.... I feel sorry for your good for nothing kids too. You are the reason this world is full of shitty, deadbeat dads. Scum.








Quoting Anonymous:

I never knew last names of boys I dated in school. Everyone isn't in the same class.







Quoting Anonymous:

Why would you advise your sons to do that?  And how exactly is that even possible?  Do they not go to school?  Im pretty sure your last name is exposed in school....

Quoting Anonymous:

Where is that in writing? Well it's not illegal to give fake names. I've instructed my sons never to let girls know their real last names no matter what and I can still move them out of state. No laws against that.











Quoting sheramom4:















Quoting Anonymous:

I'd be moving him out of state, changing his name. None of my sons will be strapped with a leaching baby. So glad I will never have pregnant daughters.













 I am hoping this is a troll statement. It is also illegal to change a name in order to get out of paying child support, which belongs to the child and is their legal right. Abandonment is also both a crime and a civil action. Changing the name as a way to avoid a legal action is fraud.










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Twisties34
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:18 PM
My kids were taught to be responsible.
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_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:18 PM
Wow!!! What selfish mothers, teach their sons to run away while the girl is left to have and raise the baby on her own (if that's what she decided). I teach my son to be responsible and try to help in any way that I can.
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melissaanne2002
by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:21 PM
He would have to help but education is first. I have 3 boys and I would still want them to get an education at whatever university they want and I would help take care if the baby. I would want him to teach his baby that even though he had a child young he still went to school to get an education to e able to provide with a good job in the long run.
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