Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My disgusting confession *Update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
And no, I do not want a cookie. No, not yay me; and no, I'm not proud. I'm confessing here because no one knows IRL and I need to somehow get it out.

I've been with my husband for almost 10 yrs, married for 6. I had always been faithful to him and always thought I would be. For some unknown reason, about 2.5 months ago I went out for ladies night and ended up bringing a guy home. My husband works late. It was a 1 night stand. It wasn't even really that great....but yet again, I did the same exact thing with someone different 2 weeks later. Again, not even great. Yet here I am, actually talking to another man whom I've been having an emotional fling with for the past month. I have planned for us to hook up next weekend.

Not sure what's wrong with me. I do love my husband, nobody is going to be able to tell me "well, if you love him, then you wouldn't be doing this." Not true. Its almost like I turn into a completely different person. I'm in mom/wife mode all day long, where I am reserved and on a scheduled routine. Then I talk and hook up with other men when I'm out of mom/ wife mode. I become a freak, and free spirited.

I think the worse part of my confession is that I have yet to feel guilty.

*update*
I'm now completely and utterly lost and my heart is broken. I've totally shattered my husband...
I emailed my therapist and wrote a quick summary about what's been going on with me. She wrote me back to schedule an apptt ASAP. I went yesterday. Basically, with telling her about my sexual and emotional affairs and looking through my past and knowing my character as a whole, she told me that she believes I have Bipolar and that I need to see a Psychiatrist to get my info and prescribe me meds. Apparently I was going through a manic episode. When I try and look back now, it almost feels physically impossible that that was me. Its almost a blur- far away distant memory that truthfully I barely remember...and it was only about 2 months ago that I had the sexual affairs. It was completely unlike me and goes against everything I believe in when it comes to my marriage with my husband. It just now seems unfathomable that it was me.... I'm now beyond depressed. More depressed than I've ever been in my entire life.
My therapist told me that I would be good to tell my husband about my recent impulses and behavior and to get him educated with Bipolar Disorder. So....I told him last night about the infidelities. He's broken. I've never seen him cry so hard. I feel like a piece of shit and I hate myself. He's not leaving me, but he's also still confused, and extremely devastated. I will get myself the help I need, manage my manic/ depression episodes with the right meds and forever do everything in my power to make it right with him and keep my family together.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:41 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:40 AM
Maybe after his affair you thought you were ok, but you feel like this is revenge. Or maybe you thought the grass would be greener on the other side. Stop this before anything else happens, get into therapy and remove yourself from situations where you might find hook ups ie ladies night, online, etc. Good luck!
imultracool
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:42 AM
1 mom liked this
You're kidding yourself if you think you don't feel guilty. You wouldn't say 'my disgusting confession' if you didn't feel some guilt. And yes it is completely disgusting. I just hope when you give your dh an STD it is a curable one. So when he divorces your nasty cheap piece of shit ass he wont have a hard time finding a woman he and his kids deserve because he has an incurable disease.

Have you even thought about what this will do to your kids? You talk about your husband but he is not the only one being affected. My parents got divorced cuz my dad cheated. I still almost 18 yrs later have issues steming from it. Anxiety problems, panic disorder, issues trusting ppl. It fucked me up. If you love your kids and your husband you'll stop. But if you're a selfish bitch keep going. Don't kid yourself about your love for your dh or kids either. If you really loved and cared about them you wouldn't purposefully do sumthin that could destroy your family and break their hearts.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mommyof2n0308
by Marissa on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:42 AM
Just get divorced..now..please
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:45 AM
One of those nights you husband will get home early and bust you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:50 AM
I never said I feel guilty. That's one of the problems...that I DONT feel guilty. I'm not a child though, I know what selfishness is...and I'm not afraid to admit it. Hell yea I'm being selfish. Somehow I find some construed way to justify it though. I've been nothing but selfLESS for 6 yrs. Happily taking care of my children, husband and home. In fact, I still do all of that. I don't do this crap in front of my loved ones. I wait until I'm alone. Yes. I've brought strange men home...def not when my kids were home though. Yes, its still stupid and dangerous. I'm not dumb, I know that my actions could effect others.
I guess part of the reason why I confessed is so that I could opinions from people who don't know me. Perhaps give me some new insight....


Quoting Anonymous:

 


You feel So Guilty ,,that's  why you can't stop the insanity & self-destruction now? You want to do it Again & Again...That's what I call Selfish. confess to husband now & hurt him to ease your guilty conscience..I agree below w/ Anomymous..Get Real :(  ... Get divorce ( w/o telling him)  &  Get therapy.. I don't believe for one minute it is Depression but Childish & Stupid. Please Don't confess to us just to make yourself feel better... I don't want to hear it.


Quoting Anonymous:

You really don't love your husband or yourself. Do the both of you a favor divorce him and get yourself into therapy.



 


artistmom27
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:51 AM

It is time you go back to your therapist, you might feel like you need something more, talk to your husband about needing more attention.


Quoting Anonymous:

I do have a therapist that I stopped seeing last year. I've been thinking about emailing her....but I'm selfish because part of me doesn't want to stop right now


Quoting lunabella79:

His old affair is probably the reason you don't feel guilty. But there's probably an underlying reason why you're seeking the "attention" of other men. Can you see a therapist without dh's knowledge?



Quoting Anonymous:

Its quite sad that I don't think about that. I feel separated from my "normal" life when I do these things...I also don't feel like he will leave me if he found out. He had an affair 4 yrs ago and I never left....I almost feel justified in some weird way






Quoting Anonymous:

You can stop right now. Something is going on with you and you need to find a different way to deal with it. You don't feel guilty because you haven't been caught. When your husband catches on to this, it's going to be terrible.  You are gambling on destroying your life as you know it!





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:54 AM
I definitely appreciate your input


Quoting imultracool:

You're kidding yourself if you think you don't feel guilty. You wouldn't say 'my disgusting confession' if you didn't feel some guilt. And yes it is completely disgusting. I just hope when you give your dh an STD it is a curable one. So when he divorces your nasty cheap piece of shit ass he wont have a hard time finding a woman he and his kids deserve because he has an incurable disease.



Have you even thought about what this will do to your kids? You talk about your husband but he is not the only one being affected. My parents got divorced cuz my dad cheated. I still almost 18 yrs later have issues steming from it. Anxiety problems, panic disorder, issues trusting ppl. It fucked me up. If you love your kids and your husband you'll stop. But if you're a selfish bitch keep going. Don't kid yourself about your love for your dh or kids either. If you really loved and cared about them you wouldn't purposefully do sumthin that could destroy your family and break their hearts.

Queen_Bree
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this

Be a freak and a free spirit with your husband... It will make your marriage better! And you might find out your husband is a freak and a free spirit too and you might actually enjoy it! I wish you the best.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:58 AM

I am not going to bash and belittle. I watch Unfaithful (on OWN) and a lot of the women cheat for different purposes. However, something is wrong. Maybe you were tired of your old routine? I think you should at least talk to a therapist and get it out in the open before you start having a full blown sexual addiction and it be harder to quit. I am not going to judge you though. We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect.

twinmommy27
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:03 AM
Are you worried that one of these guys you bring home will come over unexpectedly?


Quoting Anonymous:

I never said I feel guilty. That's one of the problems...that I DONT feel guilty. I'm not a child though, I know what selfishness is...and I'm not afraid to admit it. Hell yea I'm being selfish. Somehow I find some construed way to justify it though. I've been nothing but selfLESS for 6 yrs. Happily taking care of my children, husband and home. In fact, I still do all of that. I don't do this crap in front of my loved ones. I wait until I'm alone. Yes. I've brought strange men home...def not when my kids were home though. Yes, its still stupid and dangerous. I'm not dumb, I know that my actions could effect others.

I guess part of the reason why I confessed is so that I could opinions from people who don't know me. Perhaps give me some new insight....




Quoting Anonymous:

 



You feel So Guilty ,,that's  why you can't stop the insanity & self-destruction now? You want to do it Again & Again...That's what I call Selfish. confess to husband now & hurt him to ease your guilty conscience..I agree below w/ Anomymous..Get Real :(  ... Get divorce ( w/o telling him)  &  Get therapy.. I don't believe for one minute it is Depression but Childish & Stupid. Please Don't confess to us just to make yourself feel better... I don't want to hear it.



Quoting Anonymous:

You really don't love your husband or yourself. Do the both of you a favor divorce him and get yourself into therapy.





 



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)