Sometimes I think if we didn't have dd my exdh and I might still be married. Of course I would never tell her this and I in no way blame her, she was just an infant, it was our fault. But having her put such a stress on our new marriage that we weren't ready for and didn't know how go handle. We both became so stressed. I used dd as my outlet and focused on her 100% neglecting him, and he used other women as his outlet, neglecting me and dd. Two years post divorce we are both the same people we were then. And we Def agree having a child within the first year of a marriage was a mistake.