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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions
Thank you all for all the encouragement you ladies have given! To all the stay at home moms as well as the working ones, I'm inspired by all of you. It gave me a lot of hope and made me get out of the slump I'm in, a step in the right direction. Also thanks to all the ones that were judge mental and discouraging, its been fun. I haven't had to defend myself in that way in a LONG time. Reminds me of high school! Lol either way I'm glad to see 95% of moms have at one time felt like me and am relieved so many got out of it!! Thanks for taking the time to tell me your stories! I really appreciate it!! God bless you all!!! <3
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:58 AM
Replies (11-20):
Meglet1970
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:38 AM
3 moms liked this

When I had a little one, I felt like all I was good at was being a wife and mother.  While those things are important to me, I really felt like I had lost a sense of who I was.  My hobbies even became what my husband liked.  Now that my dd is almost 20, I am finding that I have many of my old interests back.  I also went back to school after my daughter started school and received a BS in Computer Science.  Funny part is I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!!! LOL!

spooky415
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:39 AM
i felt that way at first. nobody acknowledged me anymore. they were already mad i had a baby-but then i just became the baby's mother. it was tough for awhile.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:41 AM


And I would say you are a poor judge of anything.  I have relayed my story on here before.  I had two children, 6 & 8, when my husband died.  I knew what I wanted to be in life, went to university with 18 credits a semester and worked three jobs where I could bring my children to work with me.  We struggled for 4 years, but my children had never been in daycare in their lives.

Also, they grew up with a great work ethic and desire for education.  One is a physician and the other is a veterinarian.

ALL Mothers should have an education because that is what teaches your children to love education.

My consternation wasn't that you didn't get the education first, it's that now you seem so befuddled and lost regarding your future. 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

You obviously either don't have kids or have someone raising them for you! It makes me laugh because REAL MOMS rarely get to sit on their asses!! Boy do I wish it were that easy! And I know some people are privileged enough to have moms and others to help with their young kids while they get an education, I for one am not. And being a mom and wife without a career isn't a bad thing you know. What can I say, I fell in love and got blessed with a gorgeous gift before getting an education, so sue me!! Doesn't make you better than me or any other mother without a college degree!


Quoting Anonymous:

How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.
Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??


lwalker270
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:45 AM
11 moms liked this

This is ridiculous.  I do have a degree, had a career that I (happily) gave up to be home with my boys.  I'm going back for my masters later this year and have absolutely no idea what field I want to go into.

Even college-educated mothers who had careers struggle with losing their identity.  

Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??






The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald



momo3fgr8tteens
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:47 AM
2 moms liked this

I think what you are feeling is normal. I had a career before having kids. It was hard for me once I became a sahm and was home with my kids even with having had an education and career first. My advice to you would be to try to enjoy where you are now and just think about what you might want to do as your baby gets older. It will come to you. They are only young for such a short time. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:49 AM
6 moms liked this

 

So why not offer advice to her instead of bashing her for her life choices? She is 22 she is young enough to go to college and become whatever she wants to be if she chooses to. If you have pulled through and done good things with your life I would think that your advice would be great for her. Instead you are just pointing out flaws.

Quoting Anonymous:


And I would say you are a poor judge of anything.  I have relayed my story on here before.  I had two children, 6 & 8, when my husband died.  I knew what I wanted to be in life, went to university with 18 credits a semester and worked three jobs where I could bring my children to work with me.  We struggled for 4 years, but my children had never been in daycare in their lives.

Also, they grew up with a great work ethic and desire for education.  One is a physician and the other is a veterinarian.

ALL Mothers should have an education because that is what teaches your children to love education.

My consternation wasn't that you didn't get the education first, it's that now you seem so befuddled and lost regarding your future. 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

You obviously either don't have kids or have someone raising them for you! It makes me laugh because REAL MOMS rarely get to sit on their asses!! Boy do I wish it were that easy! And I know some people are privileged enough to have moms and others to help with their young kids while they get an education, I for one am not. And being a mom and wife without a career isn't a bad thing you know. What can I say, I fell in love and got blessed with a gorgeous gift before getting an education, so sue me!! Doesn't make you better than me or any other mother without a college degree!


Quoting Anonymous:

How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.
Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??



 

lwalker270
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:55 AM
2 moms liked this

OP, if you're not sure teaching is for you, I would call your local community college or university and see if the career center offers services to potential students.  You can take the Myers-Briggs test which will help match you to suitable careers for people of your personality type.  

Good luck!

1stTimeMomofOne
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:56 AM
6 moms liked this
If you've struggled that way then why would you even judge to begin with? You don't even know me just like I don't know you. But when people judge me unfairly I bite back. My son is not even old enough to talk yet and according to your way of thinking I'm supposed to go run to college? I give you that, I should've at least been going to college before having my son in the first place but that isn't even part of my whole discussion. So this whole conversation is irrelevant anyways. I don't need lectures about education, let me make that very clear. I wanted to hear from mothers like me that have felt this way and if they haven't good for them. There are plenty of mothers and wives that died happy seeing that they raised successful children and have not gone to college. Doesn't make them less than a masters degree in whatever, it means that's the life they chose! And you can't turn back time so get over the fact that I'm not currently in college or wasn't before!! It doesn't mean I still can't get an education later. But that's MY choice. I'm not even your family or friend so don't lecture me! Especially if you're going to be looking down on me.


Quoting Anonymous:


And I would say you are a poor judge of anything.  I have relayed my story on here before.  I had two children, 6 & 8, when my husband died.  I knew what I wanted to be in life, went to university with 18 credits a semester and worked three jobs where I could bring my children to work with me.  We struggled for 4 years, but my children had never been in daycare in their lives.

Also, they grew up with a great work ethic and desire for education.  One is a physician and the other is a veterinarian.

ALL Mothers should have an education because that is what teaches your children to love education.

My consternation wasn't that you didn't get the education first, it's that now you seem so befuddled and lost regarding your future. 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

You obviously either don't have kids or have someone raising them for you! It makes me laugh because REAL MOMS rarely get to sit on their asses!! Boy do I wish it were that easy! And I know some people are privileged enough to have moms and others to help with their young kids while they get an education, I for one am not. And being a mom and wife without a career isn't a bad thing you know. What can I say, I fell in love and got blessed with a gorgeous gift before getting an education, so sue me!! Doesn't make you better than me or any other mother without a college degree!





Quoting Anonymous:

How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.

Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
BlessedBeX3
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:58 AM
2 moms liked this

 I felt like that even before my first was born. I never really knew who i was, never went out much with friends...After my second was born, I started searching for who i was, even tho i didn't really get the time to do much outside the house...after my third was born..I really kicked it into gear, I got a make over, started loosing weight, reading again, picked different style clothes when i would go shopping.

Maybe thats what you need, a physical change to get kick started. Maybe a new hair color, or length? I know what is on the outside doesn't matter as much as the inside, but it really got it started for me. When i saw some physical changes with myself, it made me motivated to get more internal changes going.

alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:22 AM

You've got to make time for yourself. It may be hard but you have to insist on it.

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