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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions
Thank you all for all the encouragement you ladies have given! To all the stay at home moms as well as the working ones, I'm inspired by all of you. It gave me a lot of hope and made me get out of the slump I'm in, a step in the right direction. Also thanks to all the ones that were judge mental and discouraging, its been fun. I haven't had to defend myself in that way in a LONG time. Reminds me of high school! Lol either way I'm glad to see 95% of moms have at one time felt like me and am relieved so many got out of it!! Thanks for taking the time to tell me your stories! I really appreciate it!! God bless you all!!! <3
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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:58 AM
Replies (21-30):
mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:24 AM

Me I don't remember what I enjoyed before becoming a mom... 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this
College is NOT everything. I am not OP, but their are so many jobs out there with great pay that do not require college degrees. Hell, both DH and I are college graduates and I make $9... ya $9 freaking dollars an hour. My DH makes $15. We make $35k a year. Its pathetic.


Yet there's people who didn't even go to College making $50-$90k a year.

Learning a skill and sticking to it is more important to me than going to College.. I feel like I wasted 4yrs of my life when I could have been spending that time working my way up.

Quoting Anonymous:


And I would say you are a poor judge of anything.  I have relayed my story on here before.  I had two children, 6 & 8, when my husband died.  I knew what I wanted to be in life, went to university with 18 credits a semester and worked three jobs where I could bring my children to work with me.  We struggled for 4 years, but my children had never been in daycare in their lives.

Also, they grew up with a great work ethic and desire for education.  One is a physician and the other is a veterinarian.

ALL Mothers should have an education because that is what teaches your children to love education.

My consternation wasn't that you didn't get the education first, it's that now you seem so befuddled and lost regarding your future. 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

You obviously either don't have kids or have someone raising them for you! It makes me laugh because REAL MOMS rarely get to sit on their asses!! Boy do I wish it were that easy! And I know some people are privileged enough to have moms and others to help with their young kids while they get an education, I for one am not. And being a mom and wife without a career isn't a bad thing you know. What can I say, I fell in love and got blessed with a gorgeous gift before getting an education, so sue me!! Doesn't make you better than me or any other mother without a college degree!





Quoting Anonymous:

How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.

Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??


workoutmom2b1g
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this

Thats a really terrible thing to say. Not everyone follows the same path. 

Don't listen to the we are above all because we knew what we wanted people 1sttimemommy. I went to school, had jobs etc before I had my first kid at 21. I still am not sure what I want to do when I am ready to go back into the working world. 

Its ok to feel like you do. I think most Moms see time fly by! One day at a time!! Enjoy your son and maybe get a girls night once and awhile!

Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??



MelanieMans
by Sapphire Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:30 AM
1 mom liked this

I dont because I always wanted to be a mom. Im 22 as well and my son is going to be 16 months on Friday :)

Mom2five87
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:32 AM
I had my first at 17 so I had to grow up fast. I never felt like I lost or forgot who I was... I just became a different version of me. Responsible mom instead of carefree teen.... but still ME.
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cjsmom1
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:32 AM
I still feel that way sometimes. It's a big life adjustment any time you have a child. When you decide to go back to school you will decide what you want to do. I had ds at 16 and got my b.s. when he was younger.
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workoutmom2b1g
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:33 AM
3 moms liked this

You are a hateful person IMO anon. Are angry because you had to work so hard?? What an amazing story you lived! Why don't you encourage young woman who need to find their way instead of bringing them down. Woman hating on more woman is not something we need more of!!

Quoting Anonymous:


And I would say you are a poor judge of anything.  I have relayed my story on here before.  I had two children, 6 & 8, when my husband died.  I knew what I wanted to be in life, went to university with 18 credits a semester and worked three jobs where I could bring my children to work with me.  We struggled for 4 years, but my children had never been in daycare in their lives.

Also, they grew up with a great work ethic and desire for education.  One is a physician and the other is a veterinarian.

ALL Mothers should have an education because that is what teaches your children to love education.

My consternation wasn't that you didn't get the education first, it's that now you seem so befuddled and lost regarding your future. 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

You obviously either don't have kids or have someone raising them for you! It makes me laugh because REAL MOMS rarely get to sit on their asses!! Boy do I wish it were that easy! And I know some people are privileged enough to have moms and others to help with their young kids while they get an education, I for one am not. And being a mom and wife without a career isn't a bad thing you know. What can I say, I fell in love and got blessed with a gorgeous gift before getting an education, so sue me!! Doesn't make you better than me or any other mother without a college degree!


Quoting Anonymous:

How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.
Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??



kristinayates
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:38 AM
I know exactly how you feel. This is my 2nd son after 17 years. I have so many ideas in what id like to do but how? Im working now and have the baby. So I know exactly how you feel. I have lost my idenity and its hard. So your not the only one


Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
CorpCityGrl
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this

OP it's normal to feel that way.

Having a child (regardless of age) is a huge life adjustment.  I was 31 when I had DD and even at that age, with college long gone and an established career, it was a huge adjustment and made me re-think life a little bit.  It's okay though because sometimes we need to take that step back and re-evaluate because our goals and priorities change in time as life evolves and we make those adjustments as we go along.  Not everything is set in stone.

Take a step back and just breathe a little bit.  You are now a mom and are trying to find your identity as a mom and a person.  Yes, you wanted to be a teacher prior to having your child so explore that.  Ask yourself if that's still what you want to do and commit to.  Find out what your passion is...what you enjoy...what you want in the future...how you envision it.  You have to take time for yourself every once in a while to keep grounded.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this
If she went to college before having children she could potentially be stuck with a career she doesn't like. If she really wanted to be a teacher having kids wouldn't have changed her mind. That is just my opinion.

Quoting Anonymous:


How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.





Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??





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