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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions
Thank you all for all the encouragement you ladies have given! To all the stay at home moms as well as the working ones, I'm inspired by all of you. It gave me a lot of hope and made me get out of the slump I'm in, a step in the right direction. Also thanks to all the ones that were judge mental and discouraging, its been fun. I haven't had to defend myself in that way in a LONG time. Reminds me of high school! Lol either way I'm glad to see 95% of moms have at one time felt like me and am relieved so many got out of it!! Thanks for taking the time to tell me your stories! I really appreciate it!! God bless you all!!! <3
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:58 AM
Replies (31-40):
bloomsr
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Anonymous:




Who made you HBIC?? What a bitchy comment.
Jscott1216
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this
I went to college for the same thing I do now. But when I figured out I was already good at what I do I left college. I make $12/hr and my husband who didn't go to college makes $24. College isn't got everyone it also doesn't mean we're bad parents. Why are people so damn judgy. She was asking for support an someone to relate to not someone to be ignorant. I agree with the anon below me.


Quoting Anonymous:

College is NOT everything. I am not OP, but their are so many jobs out there with great pay that do not require college degrees. Hell, both DH and I are college graduates and I make $9... ya $9 freaking dollars an hour. My DH makes $15. We make $35k a year. Its pathetic.





Yet there's people who didn't even go to College making $50-$90k a year.



Learning a skill and sticking to it is more important to me than going to College.. I feel like I wasted 4yrs of my life when I could have been spending that time working my way up.



Quoting Anonymous:


And I would say you are a poor judge of anything.  I have relayed my story on here before.  I had two children, 6 & 8, when my husband died.  I knew what I wanted to be in life, went to university with 18 credits a semester and worked three jobs where I could bring my children to work with me.  We struggled for 4 years, but my children had never been in daycare in their lives.

Also, they grew up with a great work ethic and desire for education.  One is a physician and the other is a veterinarian.

ALL Mothers should have an education because that is what teaches your children to love education.

My consternation wasn't that you didn't get the education first, it's that now you seem so befuddled and lost regarding your future. 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

You obviously either don't have kids or have someone raising them for you! It makes me laugh because REAL MOMS rarely get to sit on their asses!! Boy do I wish it were that easy! And I know some people are privileged enough to have moms and others to help with their young kids while they get an education, I for one am not. And being a mom and wife without a career isn't a bad thing you know. What can I say, I fell in love and got blessed with a gorgeous gift before getting an education, so sue me!! Doesn't make you better than me or any other mother without a college degree!








Quoting Anonymous:

How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.


Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
sewingmama88
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:44 AM
1 mom liked this

I had my first son very young and was still in high school. So i know how you feel. I had to grow up fast and didn't get to go to collage but that's not a must to do before you have kids. I will when im ready go to collage and there's nothing wrong with that. Im 27 almost 28 with 2 boys and I really don't remember what life was like without kids. But like most said you need time for your self. 

gdsTX
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I did and it nearly cost me my relationship. What a lot of guys don't seem to realize is that once those hormones start changing, we go into that "mommy mode" and stop thinking about ourselves. It's all about the kid and making sure we are doing everything we can to give them the best we have to offer. I got a very sudden wake up call and started taking advantage of the offers to babysit. It can take some time to rediscover who you are outside just being mommy. Since my son was about 6 months, I've been going out about once a month with my guy. Your child is first, obviously, but make some time for yourself. Maybe a girls night once a month or so to just go and be a young woman with your friends.

MelanieMans
by Sapphire Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:45 AM
2 moms liked this

 Its not WHAT you know, is WHO you know. I didnt go to college, im 22, married, mother of an almost 16 month old, and a SAHM and thats what I always wanted to do with my life.


Quoting Anonymous:

College is NOT everything. I am not OP, but their are so many jobs out there with great pay that do not require college degrees. Hell, both DH and I are college graduates and I make $9... ya $9 freaking dollars an hour. My DH makes $15. We make $35k a year. Its pathetic.


Yet there's people who didn't even go to College making $50-$90k a year.

Learning a skill and sticking to it is more important to me than going to College.. I feel like I wasted 4yrs of my life when I could have been spending that time working my way up.

Quoting Anonymous:


And I would say you are a poor judge of anything.  I have relayed my story on here before.  I had two children, 6 & 8, when my husband died.  I knew what I wanted to be in life, went to university with 18 credits a semester and worked three jobs where I could bring my children to work with me.  We struggled for 4 years, but my children had never been in daycare in their lives.

Also, they grew up with a great work ethic and desire for education.  One is a physician and the other is a veterinarian.

ALL Mothers should have an education because that is what teaches your children to love education.

My consternation wasn't that you didn't get the education first, it's that now you seem so befuddled and lost regarding your future. 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

You obviously either don't have kids or have someone raising them for you! It makes me laugh because REAL MOMS rarely get to sit on their asses!! Boy do I wish it were that easy! And I know some people are privileged enough to have moms and others to help with their young kids while they get an education, I for one am not. And being a mom and wife without a career isn't a bad thing you know. What can I say, I fell in love and got blessed with a gorgeous gift before getting an education, so sue me!! Doesn't make you better than me or any other mother without a college degree!





Quoting Anonymous:

How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.

Quoting Anonymous:

Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.

Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??



 

bloomsr
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this
I know exactly how you feel. I had my first at 24. Before children (I am now 29 with 3) I was partying every day and was so selfish. Now, I live for my children and couldn't imagine it any other way (this coming from the girl who once swore up and down she'd never have kids, lol).
081499
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this

Absolutely!  :)  I think that's completely normal - and something moms should be more forthcoming when talking to new/expecting moms.  

With my first, I had a very hard pregnancy.  I had to quit my job and could socialize like I used to.  DD had some health issues resulting in me becoming a SAHM.  My whole life revolved around her, and even though I loved her and didn't mind the sacrifice, I totally lost myself.  

I think it's all about seasons in life and moderation.  Know that you're chosing to focus on your child for now, but know that you need to take care of your mental health, too, in order to be the best mom you can be.  Even the moms out there that you see who seem to be so happy just doing whatever needed to care for their children have hobbies/interests/outlets.  Look into finding something new to do - even something as simple as reading, while not romantic or exciting, can give you that outlet  you need to feel like you're your own person.  Take a class online.  Learn to knit.  Take the knitting to the next level by making hats for your local hospital's children's area/cancer unit.  I ended up getting a part-time evening job at a local retail shop.  It gave me time away from the kiddo, adult interaction, and goals that had nothing to do with diapers and binkies.  ;)

Also know that we all change.  There's nothing wrong with being unsure of a future you had planned previously.  Interests change.  Priorites change.  Remember - seasons in life.  :)  You're doing just fine, Mama.


Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??



Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:46 AM
2 moms liked this

I had a few dreams before I became a mom, but I had my second kid at 20, every day is exhausting and I don't have much time for myself, but that's okay because eventually they will grow up and that's when I can do something else with my life. Right now I am a mom, that's who I am. I know not everyone is content with that, but I've decided they are only young once and I want to pour my life into my kids because at the end of my life that is what will matter most, my family. 

Hippie.Gypsy
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:48 AM
1 mom liked this

I have felt that way yes... then i realize that I can't be the person I was before, because a new me came out... a maternal, loving me that wasn't there before. I much better now than I was before. I am a young mother too, my DS is 7 and I am 27 (pregnant at 19 and had him at 20). The "old" us is exactly that, old...it is a previous chapter in the book that is our lives, we're on a new chapter and being mothers is a new us.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Thia is true. It is definitely who you know!! Makes me so mad.

Quoting MelanieMans:

 Its not WHAT you know, is WHO you know. I didnt go to college, im 22, married, mother of an almost 16 month old, and a SAHM and thats what I always wanted to do with my life.




Quoting Anonymous:

College is NOT everything. I am not OP, but their are so many jobs out there with great pay that do not require college degrees. Hell, both DH and I are college graduates and I make $9... ya $9 freaking dollars an hour. My DH makes $15. We make $35k a year. Its pathetic.


Yet there's people who didn't even go to College making $50-$90k a year.

Learning a skill and sticking to it is more important to me than going to College.. I feel like I wasted 4yrs of my life when I could have been spending that time working my way up.


Quoting Anonymous:




And I would say you are a poor judge of anything.  I have relayed my story on here before.  I had two children, 6 & 8, when my husband died.  I knew what I wanted to be in life, went to university with 18 credits a semester and worked three jobs where I could bring my children to work with me.  We struggled for 4 years, but my children had never been in daycare in their lives.


Also, they grew up with a great work ethic and desire for education.  One is a physician and the other is a veterinarian.


ALL Mothers should have an education because that is what teaches your children to love education.


My consternation wasn't that you didn't get the education first, it's that now you seem so befuddled and lost regarding your future. 


Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

You obviously either don't have kids or have someone raising them for you! It makes me laugh because REAL MOMS rarely get to sit on their asses!! Boy do I wish it were that easy! And I know some people are privileged enough to have moms and others to help with their young kids while they get an education, I for one am not. And being a mom and wife without a career isn't a bad thing you know. What can I say, I fell in love and got blessed with a gorgeous gift before getting an education, so sue me!! Doesn't make you better than me or any other mother without a college degree!






Quoting Anonymous:

How does whether you use daycare or sit on your ass all day impact the discussion about receiving education prior to having children? 


Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Yeah that is true, but you're nobody to judge. I know for a fact there are many women that were young mothers and are successful. So if you're not going to say something encouraging or relating to my problem please go judge someone else. By the way, I raise my son, not a daycare or babysitter.


Quoting Anonymous:


Great.  Now you don't know what you want to be when you grow up - because you didn't become it first.


Quoting 1stTimeMomofOne:

Does any other mom out there feel as if once they had their baby they forgot who they were before then? I'm a young mother 22 and my son is 16 months. The first year flew by and when I look back it's kind of a blur! I guess for lack of sleep!! But now I feel like I have more time to maybe do something for myself since he's a bit older and sleeps through the night of course! Before him I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but now, not so sure! In a way I feel like I've forgotten who I was before. I feel like I don't even know what my interests are anymore!! Because the past year or actually since I became pregnant, it's as if I switched into mommy mode and that was my life and that's it. Does or has anyone ever felt this way??






 

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