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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"He doesnt want to pay child support for kids he has nothing to do with"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

So I have two sons that are 4 and 5 years old.

When my oldest was just a few months old, I found out their biofather (We will call him B, my fiance at the time) cheated on me with his highschool sweetheart (We will call her K). I packed up me and my sons things and left him to go live with my mother. K ended up moving in and they have been together ever since. They also now have a two year old son together and K has an older daughter from a previous relationship.

A couple weeks after moving out I was feeling pretty sick so I took a pregnancy test which turned out positive. It was definitely B's, since I hadnt slept with anyone else but him. I had my mother call him and tell him because he wouldnt believe me if I did. He told my mother that I need to have an abortion and my mother flipped out. I was so upset and would never ever have an abortion- it was entirely against my beliefs.

My second son was born and he never came to the hospital, which didnt surprise me. He told everyone it wasnt even his baby. So we had to go through court to have a paternity test done, which proved my child was his. Child support was enforced at 250 a month for both children. After the paternity test, K was harassing me through private messages on myspace that the people who did the paternity test were so unprofessional because they didnt even check B's ID before swabbing his mouth and that I couldve taken my oldest son in with me and passed him off as my newborn son even though my older son was 13 months old at the time.

B has not kept up with child support what so ever. Two years ago he claimed his two year old son, and K's older daughter (even though that child wasnt even LIVING with them that previous year, shes with K's parents and still is) on his taxes and it was garnished because he was in arrears. She sent me messages freaking out about how I need to pay her that money back because it's hers and she doesnt "owe me shit."

Obviously I didnt send her a DIME. But I also havent seen a single dime in child support since then either. He fled the state and started working under the table in order to avoid paying. As of now, he's in arrears over 6k.

I have been with my SO for almost 4 years now and he has been there for me and my boys through everything. He loves my children as his own and they are just crazy about him too. This year we want to get married and hopefully by next year he can adopt my boys officially. So back in October I contacted B's mother and told her to please have B contact me because I want him to voluntarily sign over his rights. The next day I got my first phone call from him in years..

I havent heard anything from him since then until Sunday night. He was talking shady about some life insurance policy he is looking to get and is going to put my name on it, my boys names, his gfs name and their kids name and needs "some information" from me. I ask him "WHAT information??" and he starts stuttering and saying "oh probably just your names, no socials or anything like  that."

A little quick backstory, after I left my exfiance, he got onto oxycontins really bad, stole a bunch of money from his father's business, pawned his mothers jewelry and electronics, burned all the bridges he had here- which is the main reason he fled the state despite the CS he was avoiding.

...So he goes onto saying the reason he is calling me is because the doctors think he might have diabetes and that he needs to get ahold of his dad for his medical history and wants me to call his father for him. Im closer to his family than he is.. NO ONE likes him for obvious reasons. Since I play nice to him because he is the most vindictive person on this planet and I cant trust him to do something spiteful, I just said "okay uh huh.. sure" (no.) Then he has the nerve to ask how the kids are. Not once in the 5 years has he asked how the kids are. I brag about them and mention that my oldest is starting kindergarten this year. He sounded a little sad (probably fake- he has no sympathy!) and was like "well, I need to come up there soon to take care of some things- maybe we can all go out to lunch or something before ____ starts school.." I didnt take that very well honestly. Lets just say I said No.

Then he was like "well how about I set up a facebook so I can see their pictures at least through there? But K cant know." Another no on my part. Once he started inquiring about how much I got back on my tax returns, I quickly ended the phone call.



The next day I get a text from a number I dont recognize. It says "how many times have you and B talked?" I figured it was K, but I texted back "Who's this?" to be sure. The rest of our conversation went like this:

K: Your biggest fan

Me: Yea youre so not creepy. Bye.

K: I was joking your an idiot

Me: Ooook.

K: I see we havent grown up much over the past 5 years. I wish you would just send him the paperwork so we can be done with you.

Me: Umm we? Stop contacting me. This is none of your business.

K: Its very much so my business its my money (not sure what shes talking about since I havent seen any money in two years.)

Me: If your man paid his child support, there wouldnt be a problem.

K: He doesnt want to pay child support for kids he has nothing to do with y do you think he has worked under the table so long.

Me: Well sorry it doesnt work that way.

K: Did for a couple years could again but he has a good job so i wouldnt risk it.

Me: Just because he failed to pay doesnt mean he will never have to. Enjoy living your lives hiding from your responsibilities but its only going to catch up with you later. Im not going any further with you anymore.

K: Yep thats what we do

K: later have a great life



Ugggggh.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:04 PM
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Replies (1-9):
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:05 PM
1 mom liked this

 

meaganmac
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:09 PM

He's a deadbeat, she's an idiot.  I would cut my losses and be thankful that they're not in my kids' lives.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:10 PM

But its full of drama!

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:15 PM

Bump!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I feel like I should take a moment to praise Jesus on the fact that I don't deal with things like this.

nathansmommy331
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:22 PM

bump

HaleyCovington
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Cut your losses... seriously. You want your df to adopt them right? He will NOT be obligated to pay CS if that happens. At that point your df is taking full responsibility for them. I don't see why you even bothered to have a real conversation with him. He obviously doesn't care about your kids so I would just cutt him out completely. I'd just send a message telling him what you plan to do with the adoption. Explain to him that that will get him out of all responsibilites (just in case he wants to be a dick and says no) He seems like he cares more about the money anyway so I doubt he will put up a fight. Once it's done, you never have to even think about him again.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:26 PM
Why even bother engaging with all that bullshit? You want him to sign off rights, tell him you'll drop arrears when he does and be done with all of it.
ccnstanczak
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:06 PM

 

Quoting meaganmac:

He's a deadbeat, she's an idiot.  I would cut my losses and be thankful that they're not in my kids' lives.

 this exactly.

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