Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What are my options?

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:37 PM
  • 41 Replies

First... Let me start by saying this is completely hypothetical. My daughters are five and one so if they were pregnant... Somebody would be in a grave. 

But lets fast forward ten years to my oldest daughter being 15 and pregnant. (Yes, I know, my future self has failed as a mom.) Now that your judgement is out of the way... 

What are MY options? Not my daughters options- she is free to choose, abortion, adoption or for the sake of this post- she is keeping her baby. Now that she's told my husband and I she is keeping her baby, what are our options? 

I know, rewind and chastity belt... but those are not options... because that is not an option to those moms who are in this situation. 

I've read that if you kick your child out you are required to pay child support on them if they need government assistance and lets face it, they would... So for the sake of this post, I'm cheap and she's staying with me. Someone posted an article today saying I could be forced to pay half of the birthing costs and still let her use her car and cell phone. (In fairness, I do not know who owned the car or phone in the article posted so she may have legal right to the car.)

Do parents actually have options? Are you required by law to support your child and by extension your grandchild somewhat financially? This would include shelter, food for them, etc. What if I don't want to babysit for my grandchild so my kid can work? (I'm guessing we would earn too much to allow my child to qualify for assistance) Now my child can't pay for diapers or formula (silly girl chose not to breastfeed)... What happens then? Am I responsible for diapers and formula? 

These are honest questions, there is no doubt in my mind being a teen mom is hard work and they need support from their family members! I think families who help their kids are amazing and wonderful but I don't see myself wanting a crying baby in the house at night. 

What if I don't have intentions of supporting my kid anyway other than emotionally? What happens?  

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:37 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mom2theA-team
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:43 PM

I honestly thought some of you would have a vague idea about my legal choices. 

mom2theA-team
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:45 PM

Really? It's not a troll post, I'm honestly curious about my legal rights? 

wkukid
by Beach Bum on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:46 PM

Apparently none based on the article someone posted. She gets pregnant, she chooses to keep it and you pay for it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:47 PM

Legally you are responsible for your chldren until they are 18.  You can give them up to foster care i suppose-but then you might be required to pay child support.  because, you see if they are NOT pregnant you are responsible for them-their medical bills, their food etc....

The legal case was because the parents were trying to pressure their child into an abortion-which of course isn't legal-anymore than forcing them to do an adoption.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:49 PM
You basically have no options. You are financially responsible for your dd and by extension your grandchild. If she chooses to keep the baby, you still have to support her fully.
Kodysmommy928
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:49 PM

 You have none.

mom2theA-team
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:49 PM

Yes, but wouldn't I be responsible for their bills even if they did not take me to court? Keep in mind, they are keeping the baby regardless.... It seems horrible to force parents to pay for half of the medical bills when they may not be able to afford them by their standards. I dunno, it rubs me the wrong way. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Legally you are responsible for your chldren until they are 18.  You can give them up to foster care i suppose-but then you might be required to pay child support.  because, you see if they are NOT pregnant you are responsible for them-their medical bills, their food etc....

The legal case was because the parents were trying to pressure their child into an abortion-which of course isn't legal-anymore than forcing them to do an adoption.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:51 PM



Quoting mom2theA-team:

Yes, but wouldn't I be responsible for their bills even if they did not take me to court? Keep in mind, they are keeping the baby regardless.... It seems horrible to force parents to pay for half of the medical bills when they may not be able to afford them by their standards. I dunno, it rubs me the wrong way. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Legally you are responsible for your chldren until they are 18.  You can give them up to foster care i suppose-but then you might be required to pay child support.  because, you see if they are NOT pregnant you are responsible for them-their medical bills, their food etc....

The legal case was because the parents were trying to pressure their child into an abortion-which of course isn't legal-anymore than forcing them to do an adoption.




My guess is the parents could afford it and were choosing not to-if they couldn't-the kid could get Medicaid.

The KIDS portion of the bills is covered by the paren'ts insurance-the GRAND CHILDS portion is not-they can get their kid declared emancipated and then Medicaid will cover the grandbaby and the Mom.

mom2theA-team
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:51 PM

So I'm responsible for diapers, formula, etc.? 

If that is the case I would seriously drop the kid financially the second they are 18- complete with eviction notice prior to their birthday... and they would loose everything they are entitled to from college fund to inheritance. Ugh, I hate that society doesn't allow teens to take responsibility for their actions. 


Quoting Anonymous:

You basically have no options. You are financially responsible for your dd and by extension your grandchild. If she chooses to keep the baby, you still have to support her fully.



mom2theA-team
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:53 PM

Does the child have to choose emancipation? And in that case would you pay for child support? 


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting mom2theA-team:

Yes, but wouldn't I be responsible for their bills even if they did not take me to court? Keep in mind, they are keeping the baby regardless.... It seems horrible to force parents to pay for half of the medical bills when they may not be able to afford them by their standards. I dunno, it rubs me the wrong way. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Legally you are responsible for your chldren until they are 18.  You can give them up to foster care i suppose-but then you might be required to pay child support.  because, you see if they are NOT pregnant you are responsible for them-their medical bills, their food etc....

The legal case was because the parents were trying to pressure their child into an abortion-which of course isn't legal-anymore than forcing them to do an adoption.




My guess is the parents could afford it and were choosing not to-if they couldn't-the kid could get Medicaid.

The KIDS portion of the bills is covered by the paren'ts insurance-the GRAND CHILDS portion is not-they can get their kid declared emancipated and then Medicaid will cover the grandbaby and the Mom.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN