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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do you like your kids?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I have an older child (8) and baby (5 mo). I don't like my son. He's mean, bossy, defiant, annoying, and extremely whiney. He's gotten so much worse since his sister was born. He gets tons if attention from me and everybody and has every game and toy available! He tells me he's going to bed at 8:30, I say no bed time is 8. He argues with me and balls his fists. I ask him to brush his teeth he says no. I te him he has to and when he finaly goes to do it, he tries to stare me down as he walks by! I ask him what's wrong he says he doesn't know. He says I don't love him. I'm at my wits end. I'm so angry and annoyed with him that I don't even like him a y more. I love him but this is ridiculous. No judging or bashing please. I need good helpful advice. Could all thus be from a new baby? He's been only child for 8 years...


UPDATE: this morning he came to me very remorseful and hugged me tight and said he's sorry and he loves me very much. And also can he still go to soccer practice? Lol SMH

I also looked into that ODD and it sounds like him. I'm booking an appt. with a child councilor. Thank you all fir your comments and suggestions, and helping me feel not so hopeless.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:44 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:49 PM
Ill probably get flack for this, but he gets spanked, definitely not as often as he should though. I agree!! I think he would be better at 8 than a younger child. My husband and I have sat down and talked to him and do has his nana and he says nothing it wrong!!! Something has to be wrong, for this attitude!!


Quoting brittanyjenean:

Sounds a little bratty.  Spare the rod and spoil the child. 

He's likely jealous, but you would think at 8 he would understand better than say a 4 or 5 year old would.  Just sit down and ask him what's going on, how he's doing. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes. Go hug your kid. He is getting negative attention because that is better than no attention. He is jealous.

2pittsburghboys
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I would say yes its part baby and part age. I have an 7 yr old DS and an almost 9 yr old DS and they love to test you. If you can get someone to arch DD and do some one on one time with DS. I do that with my kids and it makes a huge difference. Also limit the games and remember your time is more important than all the games and toys in the world. I know its hard with a new baby...I have 3 boys and when the youngest came along it threw a wrench in the older boys lives. I know you love I'm and you are stresses with his behavior. Just take a deep breath and remember this will eventually get better :)
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leavinglasvegas
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:51 PM
1 mom liked this

If he argued with me and balled his fists, he start getting stuff taken away and spend some quality time in his room until he got the point. My DD is 3 and defies me at every turn, but has her good days too. She's a hard-headed defiant button pusher. She's also very cuddly, hilarious and generous.

My 5 year old DD is a pouty drama queen who cries about everything. She gets punished too. She's also very bright and insightful and likes to help around the house to show she cares.

I love my kids, but don't always like them - but even my dislike is less than half the time!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:52 PM
I do things with him often, just the two if us. His dad does also. My husband spoils him horribly because he had nothing growing up. It's an awful excuse. How can I turn it around?


Quoting SalemWitchChild:

Has this been a recent change? If so it could be jealousy from the baby.

Perhaps do something special with just him. As far as the defiant behavior, what consequences are you giving when he disobeys? Even when he's doing his chore but giving attitude, my DD would have a consequence for that. Momma doesn't accept attitude. I'd make her apologize.


nicoal4
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:52 PM
1 mom liked this
I have 5 and me and a friend were talking to our mom's and they said they loved us but didn't like us at a few points. Which makes me feel better because my 9 year old has NO common sense and everything is dramatic. I love her but goodness that girl does acrobats on my nerves lately.
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LovelyMommy24
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:52 PM
Did all of this behavior start after having the baby?
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brittanyjenean
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:53 PM

Hey, I'm not judging.  I won't lie, I have spanked my DD before.  Maybe y'all could sit down and build a lego palace or something.  It's possible he just misses the way things were.  It takes time adjusting to a new sibling.  Does he play any type of sport?  Maybe that will help with his attitude a little bit.


Quoting Anonymous:

Ill probably get flack for this, but he gets spanked, definitely not as often as he should though. I agree!! I think he would be better at 8 than a younger child. My husband and I have sat down and talked to him and do has his nana and he says nothing it wrong!!! Something has to be wrong, for this attitude!!


Quoting brittanyjenean:

Sounds a little bratty.  Spare the rod and spoil the child. 

He's likely jealous, but you would think at 8 he would understand better than say a 4 or 5 year old would.  Just sit down and ask him what's going on, how he's doing. 



 

SalemWitchChild
by Blessed be on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:53 PM

Ok so there has been no consistency. He probably views you as the "Bad guy", which explains the attitude. Your husband needs to be the one to toughen up. Both of you sit down, talk and make the change together. Be consistent in your discipline methods.

Quoting Anonymous:

I do things with him often, just the two if us. His dad does also. My husband spoils him horribly because he had nothing growing up. It's an awful excuse. How can I turn it around?


Quoting SalemWitchChild:

Has this been a recent change? If so it could be jealousy from the baby.

Perhaps do something special with just him. As far as the defiant behavior, what consequences are you giving when he disobeys? Even when he's doing his chore but giving attitude, my DD would have a consequence for that. Momma doesn't accept attitude. I'd make her apologize.



davnrori
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:53 PM

 I have an 8yo DD, a 3yo DS, and a 22mo DD. I love them all and I like them all most of the time. Occasionally I want to sell them on the black market, lol.

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