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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do you like your kids?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I have an older child (8) and baby (5 mo). I don't like my son. He's mean, bossy, defiant, annoying, and extremely whiney. He's gotten so much worse since his sister was born. He gets tons if attention from me and everybody and has every game and toy available! He tells me he's going to bed at 8:30, I say no bed time is 8. He argues with me and balls his fists. I ask him to brush his teeth he says no. I te him he has to and when he finaly goes to do it, he tries to stare me down as he walks by! I ask him what's wrong he says he doesn't know. He says I don't love him. I'm at my wits end. I'm so angry and annoyed with him that I don't even like him a y more. I love him but this is ridiculous. No judging or bashing please. I need good helpful advice. Could all thus be from a new baby? He's been only child for 8 years...


UPDATE: this morning he came to me very remorseful and hugged me tight and said he's sorry and he loves me very much. And also can he still go to soccer practice? Lol SMH

I also looked into that ODD and it sounds like him. I'm booking an appt. with a child councilor. Thank you all fir your comments and suggestions, and helping me feel not so hopeless.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:44 PM
Replies (41-50):
HaileyGage
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Sometimes I am not fond of my son. He is very defiant and whines anytime he doesn't get his way...and then I yell and have said things I don't mean. Being a single mom is very hard and he's my only child. I think your son is feeling left out. I remember when my mom had my brother when I was 6, I turned into a complete brat but she would do special things with just me and that made me feel better.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this

When my sister was born I drew a picture of a crying baby, and said how much I didn't want a new baby. My mom saved it, and showed to me as adult.

I used to be the 'baby' in the family.

We're 9 years apart and I love her to death now all these years later! Lol

Yellowlily333
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes I like my son...actually I like and love him. It sounds like your son is really needing you to show him that you love him!!

Lizardannie1966
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds to me like your little man is being defiant because of the new baby. Plus, it's the age, too.

Have you talked with his school teacher? other family members who are around him regularly? is he acting up around them?

While I know it can be hard with a new baby, try to spend time alone with your son, to let him know that he is still equally as important as the new baby.

You don't dislike him, from the sound of it. You're simply overwhelmed by his behavior. Perfectly normal.

bribren
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:06 PM
1 mom liked this

It could be he's acting out. Did he act like that before you got pregnant. I would not put up with it even if he was acting out. You are the parent if he whines treat him like a two year old. My daughter who was 9 tried to act out when I had my dd3 and I put a stop to it quick fast and in a hurry. I would make her sit in the corner. I changed her bedtime to 7p. I told her if she wanted to throw fits like a toddler I would treat her like one.You need to take back control. If he won't brush his teeth you do it for him and say when you can start acting like a big kid I'll treat you like one.

Raeann11
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:09 PM

I love my girls. Yes we all have our moments. But I remind them I am there mother and they do what I say. If they don't there are consequences to it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:10 PM
I will definitely try this. Thank you! I even say out loud I'm 30 and you don't tell me what to do lol.


Quoting leavinglasvegas:

I'm not sure if this is going to help, but here it goes. I am strict, bossy and a type A personality. I have a tendency to blow up, yell, etc. But to curb this, I take a moment and think to myself "I am a 40 year old woman. A 3 year old doesn't  tell me what to do." It puts me mentally in control and lets me back up from my personal feelings and lets me deal with the situation in a practical calm way.

If he pushes you don't "push back". Take control - because he feels he has the upper hand. Take it back. Bed at 8. Scream and yell? Don't yell back - just put him to bed. Keeps yelling? Find his currency - a toy, game, tv time, whatever - and TAKE IT FROM HIM. Stares me down? Really? Spend some time sitting at the table staring at the wall for the next however long it takes - and he had better apologize - or consequences.

Keep doing these things - calmly and consistantly. It's hard and he'll get worse before he gets better. Try it for 3 weeks and see if it curbs his behavior.


_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:11 PM
Yep!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:14 PM
He does well in school. He gets in trouble often for not following directions. We ask why and he says he doesn't want to do ____. But his grades are all As and he is well liked by his teachers. He Is in 3rd grade. His teacher said he tested at 4th grade level math and 5th grade level reading and spelling. Also very frustrating. He's remarkably smart but hates work.


Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Sounds to me like your little man is being defiant because of the new baby. Plus, it's the age, too.

Have you talked with his school teacher? other family members who are around him regularly? is he acting up around them?

While I know it can be hard with a new baby, try to spend time alone with your son, to let him know that he is still equally as important as the new baby.

You don't dislike him, from the sound of it. You're simply overwhelmed by his behavior. Perfectly normal.


Lizardannie1966
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:20 PM

It's a stage he's going through, more than likely and again, adjusting to no longer being the only child.

Keep on eye on it and of course discipline when necessary as well as be there for him, teaching him to talk or at least know you're always an ear to listen.

Sometimes really smart children and even adults can pump out the answers but get bored with the details, kwim?

Quoting Anonymous:

He does well in school. He gets in trouble often for not following directions. We ask why and he says he doesn't want to do ____. But his grades are all As and he is well liked by his teachers. He Is in 3rd grade. His teacher said he tested at 4th grade level math and 5th grade level reading and spelling. Also very frustrating. He's remarkably smart but hates work.


Quoting Lizardannie1966:

Sounds to me like your little man is being defiant because of the new baby. Plus, it's the age, too.

Have you talked with his school teacher? other family members who are around him regularly? is he acting up around them?

While I know it can be hard with a new baby, try to spend time alone with your son, to let him know that he is still equally as important as the new baby.

You don't dislike him, from the sound of it. You're simply overwhelmed by his behavior. Perfectly normal.



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