Gparents-how far is too far?
- 125 Replies
My parents are constantly going behind my back and doing things.
1)I don't feed my kids red meat. Personal choice.
EVERY time they visit nana and poppa? They have cheeseburgers ... Then I am the one dealing with upset tummies for 3 days when they come home.
2)my youngest is 3 mo. I am choosing not to feed him baby food until 6 months. I went to pick the kids up the other day, opened the fridge to get a water, and there in front of me were 5 jars opened baby food all different types... They didn't even follow the guidelines of one frut or veg at a time. So if he came home and had a severe allergic reaction? I wouldn't have known why.
3) I will sen the kids in one outfit, then see pics of them from that day, in a completely different outfit. That's just weird to me?
4) thy have re named all my kids. My sons "nickname" sounds completely like a girls name and he hates it. They refuse to call him by his name.
5) my mother has decided it would be 'cool' if my kids called HER mom too! Uhm WTF seriously...
and it's like nothing i ever do is enough for her.
i try hard to be a good mom but then she has to second guess everything i do.
rarely do i hear anything positive come out of her mouth such as, "i'm proud of you" or "your a great mom" or "you're doing a great job as being a mom"
she second guess's EVERYthing i do.
Quoting Anonymous:OMG im so sorry to hear this....
I dont think your hurting him by disciplining him for lying...
Quoting vinalex0581:
my mom enables my 7 year old son, constantly..........pisses me off to no flipping end.
her favorite lines are, "he's 7, that's what they do"
"he's 7, that's what they say"
"7 year olds do that, he'll grow out of it"
and my son will get in trouble for lying to me and she'll butt her nose where it doesn't belong and say, "he's going to turn neurotic because of you."
that's just the tip of the icing.
i don't have that kind of time to list EVERYthing she says.
Of all the examples, number three seems okay. I have dressed my Grands in different outfits while babysitting when I took photos of them. For instance, if there is a pretty dress or a cute t-shirt I want them to wear for a picture, I change the outfit and snap the pic. My parents did the same with my kids and my own Grandparents did the same with me. It never bothered anyone in my family.
But ignoring dietary guidelines is absolutely wrong.
Calling the kids by names they do not like is also wrong.
And asking the Grands to call you their parents is seriously fucked up.
Geez... that's some serious issues.
No, I wouldn't tolerate that behavior now that I know better. Back when I was younger, I let MIL get away with some things. However, now I don't hesitate to politely but firmly put her in her place when it comes to my kids.
For example, they brought a puppy over once for a visit. Ok, puppy was nice... we liked it. But then MIL got mad that one of my kids (4 yr old) dropped a small piece of candy and the dog ate it. She actually stood overtop of my 4 yr old and was scolding her for dropping a piece of candy in her own living room. I spoke up and said... "Excuse me, my daughter did NOTHING wrong. Stop scolding her! You are grandma, and that's my job anyway!"
The only one I get is the outfit change. My Mom and MIL like to buy the kids cute outfits and have them wear them while they are visiting. No big deal. The rest of it is just wrong.
I'm going to revise what I'm saying to add....
It sounds like they are your full time free sitters.
Well... you DO get what you pay for. So you might want to consider hiring a sitter or making your expectations more clear. Besides, if they are there all day with baby, it might be their opinion baby wants to eat food. I'm not debating your decision to delay solids... I'm just saying that if they are the primary caregivers and they are doing it for free... then you are in a tough position to complain.
For me, #1, #2, #4, and #5 would really bother me and it would be enough that I wouldn't be letting them spend time with my kids unsupervised. The clothes thing isn't a big deal.
I have to constantly get after my father because he eggs my kids on. If they're throwing a fit and I'm reprimanding he'll say things like "You don't have to listen to her," or he'll pick on them until they're in tears and wonder why they don't want to cuddle him or play with him.
I'm so sorry I hear your situation. That's really not cool. Have you talked to him about it??
Quoting MamaMoopsie:For me, #1, #2, #4, and #5 would really bother me and it would be enough that I wouldn't be letting them spend time with my kids unsupervised. The clothes thing isn't a big deal.
I have to constantly get after my father because he eggs my kids on. If they're throwing a fit and I'm reprimanding he'll say things like "You don't have to listen to her," or he'll pick on them until they're in tears and wonder why they don't want to cuddle him or play with him.
Because I'm still mom...
But my mom is the type to take advantage of the whole "I'm doing this do you so you HAVE to do XYZ for me" I'm beginning to this this is the issue as of now.
Even before my car broke down and they had to babysit it was like this though...
Quoting KrissyKC:I'm going to revise what I'm saying to add....
It sounds like they are your full time free sitters.
Well... you DO get what you pay for. So you might want to consider hiring a sitter or making your expectations more clear. Besides, if they are there all day with baby, it might be their opinion baby wants to eat food. I'm not debating your decision to delay solids... I'm just saying that if they are the primary caregivers and they are doing it for free... then you are in a tough position to complain.
At what age should I tell my son dh is not his bio dad?