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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Gparents-how far is too far?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Most grandparents spoil the grand kids. Okay that's all good and well, but how far is too far when it comes to the kids?
My parents are constantly going behind my back and doing things.
1)I don't feed my kids red meat. Personal choice.
EVERY time they visit nana and poppa? They have cheeseburgers ... Then I am the one dealing with upset tummies for 3 days when they come home.
2)my youngest is 3 mo. I am choosing not to feed him baby food until 6 months. I went to pick the kids up the other day, opened the fridge to get a water, and there in front of me were 5 jars opened baby food all different types... They didn't even follow the guidelines of one frut or veg at a time. So if he came home and had a severe allergic reaction? I wouldn't have known why.
3) I will sen the kids in one outfit, then see pics of them from that day, in a completely different outfit. That's just weird to me?
4) thy have re named all my kids. My sons "nickname" sounds completely like a girls name and he hates it. They refuse to call him by his name.
5) my mother has decided it would be 'cool' if my kids called HER mom too! Uhm WTF seriously...
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:14 PM
Replies (41-50):
othermom
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:41 PM

They would stop going over until your parents can listen to your rules. I Allow some stuff with the grandparents, but what yours are doing is extreme.  My dad took my older two fishing once and they ate a whole bag of cookies while they were gone and 3-4 juices each(in a5 hour trip) There are other little goodies that are allowed, staying up later, ect.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:44 PM
Yeah I hope so. Either that it things will blow up into an argument. At least that what happens for me lol.


Quoting Emmakins84:

It is very frustrating! One just has to stand their ground. We as parents have rules, and they can't go messing that up. I know she hated when my grandma gave me coffee as a kid! Hopefully, the more she sees I'm not backing off, she'll understand she's going too far.




Quoting Anonymous:

I don't give my kids soda either. And my mom does the same thing about babying.. Sheesh.


My mom is on this diet that has proton shakes and vitamins in it and other things im not sure what they are an she gave one to my two yr old! I was really upset .... Because I don't know what those things are in it.


I hope things work out with your mom too! I know it's frustrating






Quoting Emmakins84:

Why is it grandparents think they can do what they want? I said no soda for my two year old, and they do it behind my back. I let my son when he's doing something bad, there goes my mom babying him and getting mad at me. Stand your ground. Take away visitation, if possible. You're the parent, not them.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:46 PM
That's exactly what's happening :/
And since I'm a single mom, my mom said it would be a really awesome idea if they called my dad 'dad' just so they "feel like the other kids" I was like... No. It's sooo frustrating because I DONT want to cut them out, but I'm running out of options.
I guess I'm more confused as to why they think this behaviour is okay


Quoting Always1222:

I think it's okay for grandparents to help with children and maybe do things special with them. However, they should not be going against your wishes to do so.....that is very disrepectful to you as a their parent. Their behavior could cause your kids to not view you as the authority figure since you are being undermined...

I would have a serious talk with them, especially about the 1, 2, and 5.....very uncool. 

If my parents were to do that, I would not be allowing my kids to visit them until they got their act together and act like "grandparents" instead of taking a parental role..


MomofSCMJJA
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:47 PM

Sorry, but it sounds to me that granma and grandpa need to grow up and stop acting like teenagers getting off on sneaking around behind their parents back.

If it were letting them stay up late or buying them too many toys I would say let them have their fun, but these are safety issues!  I would sit down and have a serious talk with them and tell them that you need for them to follow your guidelines or they will have to only see the kids on your turf where you can supervise.  They'll cry and get angry and pout, but this is your kids well-being your talking about.

And NO, it is NOT cool for the kids to call her mom too!  That's actually kind creepy!

lnr187
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:48 PM

 ok now that's just unsafe. i'd highly recommend a daycare. i know you said you're a single mom but do you get child supprt? where's bd? do you quality for any sort of child care assistance? i'd try to find an alternative. not only could the 2 yr old get it open and choke on a penny... he/she could give it to the baby!

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah I agree, the clothes thing just seems weird to me. I just don't get it. But whatever.
Yeah I'm SUPER pissed about the food.
My mom says the names she has given them (which are not their real names or even close) are 'special' to her? I don't really k ow what that means. He tells her allllll the time she just laughs it off and thinks he's kidding.
Oh something I forgot to post, my 2yo gets into everything obviously. Well they gave her a pill bottle with pennies in it to play with. I got reallllyy upset because both of them are on strong medications and if my 2yo gets into it by accident she will think its okay to play with and could take one by accident!
She finds pill bottles a lot and tries at their house. That's why they gave her the one to "play" with.
I just DONT UNDERSTAND.


Quoting lnr187:

 um those are all realy big issues to me! well at least the food and calling her mom thing... if it's making your kids sick (or even if it's not) you have every right to exclude red meat from your kid's diet and your mom should respect that. the baby food is a huge deal! that was unfair to not allow you to make those decisions with introducing 1 thing at a time, and what it would be and when! as far as the clothes, it's weird, but whatever. she thinks an outfit it cuter, then so be it. the nickname thing, i'd just let it go. if your son really hates it, encourage him to tell grandma that. he can say "please don't call me that, my name is xxxxx" or he can start calling her by her first name and see how she likes it. why do they refuse to call him by his name? it's yours and your dh choice as the parents to pick the name, and they need to respect that. i'd tell your mom that this stuff bothers you and why. tell her if she can't respect your wishes, then she won't be able to have them. she is literally making the kids sick and coul dhave made the baby sick, and is being direspectful with being "mom".


 

mom2theA-team
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Restraining order! 

Always1222
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:52 PM

I would be clear and serious with them. I know it's hard to do with parents, as I am learning how to do it now as my mom is trying to get overly involved with stuff in my life...

But I would tell them when they do these kinds of things it undermines you as the "Mother" and that having your children calling them something besides what they are is confusing for them, and disrespectful to you. I mean I think nicknames for grandparents are fine, but not them using mom or dad. For example my nephew calls his grandpa "Papa" and his grandma "Tuma" (tuma is what he started calling her when he was a baby and it stuck)


Quoting Anonymous:

That's exactly what's happening :/
And since I'm a single mom, my mom said it would be a really awesome idea if they called my dad 'dad' just so they "feel like the other kids" I was like... No. It's sooo frustrating because I DONT want to cut them out, but I'm running out of options.
I guess I'm more confused as to why they think this behaviour is okay


Quoting Always1222:

I think it's okay for grandparents to help with children and maybe do things special with them. However, they should not be going against your wishes to do so.....that is very disrepectful to you as a their parent. Their behavior could cause your kids to not view you as the authority figure since you are being undermined...

I would have a serious talk with them, especially about the 1, 2, and 5.....very uncool. 

If my parents were to do that, I would not be allowing my kids to visit them until they got their act together and act like "grandparents" instead of taking a parental role..




JTE11
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:53 PM

Probably time to not visit until they can learn their place. Sorry to hear they're being so rude!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:53 PM
Well my car broke down and it's in the shop for a few moths so my parents offered To come pick up the kids to watch them wile I was at work. I am going to have to figure out something else though. My car should be fixed soon. It just took this long because its really expensive.
Bd and I are in court. He never sees the kids he travels a lot due to work. I was a sahm when we were together. He's never really been around. But it's okay. He will be ordered to pay CS as soon as courts over. I have assistance for daycare. Just getting them there right now is the prob lol.
And believe me I know. 1,000 horror stories went through my head when I came over and saw my 2yo with a pill bottle


Quoting lnr187:

 ok now that's just unsafe. i'd highly recommend a daycare. i know you said you're a single mom but do you get child supprt? where's bd? do you quality for any sort of child care assistance? i'd try to find an alternative. not only could the 2 yr old get it open and choke on a penny... he/she could give it to the baby!


Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah I agree, the clothes thing just seems weird to me. I just don't get it. But whatever.
Yeah I'm SUPER pissed about the food.
My mom says the names she has given them (which are not their real names or even close) are 'special' to her? I don't really k ow what that means. He tells her allllll the time she just laughs it off and thinks he's kidding.
Oh something I forgot to post, my 2yo gets into everything obviously. Well they gave her a pill bottle with pennies in it to play with. I got reallllyy upset because both of them are on strong medications and if my 2yo gets into it by accident she will think its okay to play with and could take one by accident!
She finds pill bottles a lot and tries at their house. That's why they gave her the one to "play" with.
I just DONT UNDERSTAND.



Quoting lnr187:


 um those are all realy big issues to me! well at least the food and calling her mom thing... if it's making your kids sick (or even if it's not) you have every right to exclude red meat from your kid's diet and your mom should respect that. the baby food is a huge deal! that was unfair to not allow you to make those decisions with introducing 1 thing at a time, and what it would be and when! as far as the clothes, it's weird, but whatever. she thinks an outfit it cuter, then so be it. the nickname thing, i'd just let it go. if your son really hates it, encourage him to tell grandma that. he can say "please don't call me that, my name is xxxxx" or he can start calling her by her first name and see how she likes it. why do they refuse to call him by his name? it's yours and your dh choice as the parents to pick the name, and they need to respect that. i'd tell your mom that this stuff bothers you and why. tell her if she can't respect your wishes, then she won't be able to have them. she is literally making the kids sick and coul dhave made the baby sick, and is being direspectful with being "mom".



 


evelynolivesmom
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:55 PM

 None of that is acceptable and as for #5, she'd be lucky if I called her mom after that.

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