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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Gparents-how far is too far?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Most grandparents spoil the grand kids. Okay that's all good and well, but how far is too far when it comes to the kids?
My parents are constantly going behind my back and doing things.
1)I don't feed my kids red meat. Personal choice.
EVERY time they visit nana and poppa? They have cheeseburgers ... Then I am the one dealing with upset tummies for 3 days when they come home.
2)my youngest is 3 mo. I am choosing not to feed him baby food until 6 months. I went to pick the kids up the other day, opened the fridge to get a water, and there in front of me were 5 jars opened baby food all different types... They didn't even follow the guidelines of one frut or veg at a time. So if he came home and had a severe allergic reaction? I wouldn't have known why.
3) I will sen the kids in one outfit, then see pics of them from that day, in a completely different outfit. That's just weird to me?
4) thy have re named all my kids. My sons "nickname" sounds completely like a girls name and he hates it. They refuse to call him by his name.
5) my mother has decided it would be 'cool' if my kids called HER mom too! Uhm WTF seriously...
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:14 PM
Replies (81-90):
baquick
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:04 PM
Yup. That's too far IMO.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:05 PM
Wow way to undermine you as a parent. They have no respect for you what so ever.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:40 PM
I work a full time job and one kinda part time. It's more "as needed" that's only because I had to come up with extra cash recently to fix my car.
I never go out. I absolutely adore my kids. I think I'm more clingy than they'd like haha. I can't help it... Lol
Yeah I agree about the safety thing. I just assumed my parents wouldn't cross that line.. But now that they have they are taking as a slap in the face that I asked them not to do it...


Quoting TheMrs407:

I see your point. How often do you work? I just ask because I know people who dump their kids on grandparents and then act shocked and upset when the kids are closer to the grandparents. I'm not talking about just going to work. I'm a working mom too. My dd doesn't call the sitter "mom". The people I know who do this do it for work, going out with friends-constantly and sometimes, honestly, avoiding their own children.

What is in reason is for you to decide. Things 1,3 and 4 wouldn't be an issue for me. When it starts to impact their safety, then it would become an issue.




Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly I don't care how much she's hurting about the kids spending time with her more than me right now.


I'm still my kids mom and I'm the one working to provide for them and that's the only reason the spend the amount of time with her that they do. That's no reason why she should be mom now and not me anymore just because he babysits.


That's just wrong.


About everything else, you are entilteled to your opinion. That's why I posted this. I wanted to hear what other moms thought. Thanks for your input :)


I agree to a point, grandparents do usually let kids do things parents don't. And that's cool, but like you said, within reason.


I guess the question becoones, within WHIS reasoning? The parents or the grandparents






Quoting TheMrs407:

1,3 and 4 seem find to me. I'm pretty lax on grandparents. To me they are supposed to let the kids do things- with in reason- parents wouldn't let them do. However number two becomes a health issue and five is just disrespectful...unless she's hinting that the kids spend more time with her than you.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:44 PM
I don't get that. Is your friend okay with this?


Quoting sthflachk:

This...and I have a friend whose dd calls her Grandma "Mom"...it is weird.



Quoting ColleenF30:

I wouldn't be letting them visit. Holy hell.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:45 PM
My thoughts exactly


Quoting Anonymous:

Wow way to undermine you as a parent. They have no respect for you what so ever.

krystie-tina
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:48 PM
Yeah, um, that is going way too far. My kids wouldn't be going back to see the grandparents again.
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sthflachk
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:36 AM
Yep...so weird

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't get that. Is your friend okay with this?




Quoting sthflachk:

This...and I have a friend whose dd calls her Grandma "Mom"...it is weird.





Quoting ColleenF30:

I wouldn't be letting them visit. Holy hell.


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lnr187
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:11 AM

 oh goodness. you really are in a tight spot. best of luck to you!

Quoting Anonymous:

Well my car broke down and it's in the shop for a few moths so my parents offered To come pick up the kids to watch them wile I was at work. I am going to have to figure out something else though. My car should be fixed soon. It just took this long because its really expensive.
Bd and I are in court. He never sees the kids he travels a lot due to work. I was a sahm when we were together. He's never really been around. But it's okay. He will be ordered to pay CS as soon as courts over. I have assistance for daycare. Just getting them there right now is the prob lol.
And believe me I know. 1,000 horror stories went through my head when I came over and saw my 2yo with a pill bottle


Quoting lnr187:

 ok now that's just unsafe. i'd highly recommend a daycare. i know you said you're a single mom but do you get child supprt? where's bd? do you quality for any sort of child care assistance? i'd try to find an alternative. not only could the 2 yr old get it open and choke on a penny... he/she could give it to the baby!


Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah I agree, the clothes thing just seems weird to me. I just don't get it. But whatever.
Yeah I'm SUPER pissed about the food.
My mom says the names she has given them (which are not their real names or even close) are 'special' to her? I don't really k ow what that means. He tells her allllll the time she just laughs it off and thinks he's kidding.
Oh something I forgot to post, my 2yo gets into everything obviously. Well they gave her a pill bottle with pennies in it to play with. I got reallllyy upset because both of them are on strong medications and if my 2yo gets into it by accident she will think its okay to play with and could take one by accident!
She finds pill bottles a lot and tries at their house. That's why they gave her the one to "play" with.
I just DONT UNDERSTAND.



Quoting lnr187:


 um those are all realy big issues to me! well at least the food and calling her mom thing... if it's making your kids sick (or even if it's not) you have every right to exclude red meat from your kid's diet and your mom should respect that. the baby food is a huge deal! that was unfair to not allow you to make those decisions with introducing 1 thing at a time, and what it would be and when! as far as the clothes, it's weird, but whatever. she thinks an outfit it cuter, then so be it. the nickname thing, i'd just let it go. if your son really hates it, encourage him to tell grandma that. he can say "please don't call me that, my name is xxxxx" or he can start calling her by her first name and see how she likes it. why do they refuse to call him by his name? it's yours and your dh choice as the parents to pick the name, and they need to respect that. i'd tell your mom that this stuff bothers you and why. tell her if she can't respect your wishes, then she won't be able to have them. she is literally making the kids sick and coul dhave made the baby sick, and is being direspectful with being "mom".



 


 

brebugmom91
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:13 AM
I'm usually laid back when it comes to grandparents, but that's too far! My kids wouldn't be going back.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:14 AM

Cut all unsupervised visits and tell them EXACTLY why. That isn't spoiling, that's putting them in danger and then disrespecting them (giving them new "girl" names that they hate) to boot. 

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