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I did something I regret

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
About 45 mins ago my baby (6 months) woke up from a night terror. I didn't know this until I researched it later. While he was screaming bloody murder and crying bf was yelling at me and getting me flustered. It's like him yelling at me was more important than the baby and I was trying to make him see that it's not about us. I didn't know what to do for my son and in high intense situations I tend to freak out and get anxiety. Bf wouldn't leave me alone and let me tend to the baby so I punched him in the face to get his attention and make him realize my seriousness that he needs to leave me alone. I feel bad but I don't know what to do or say other than "sorry" which isn't much. Help!
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 3:33 AM
Replies (91-100):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:36 AM
Are you kidding me?


Quoting sandra_t00:

You should have been punched back.

EvilAsh
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm not the one in an abusive relationship, so I don't think I'm an idiot, but okay. Still no need to get physical. Go into another room, lock the door, care for your kid. Plus, it never said your kid was in your arms, but either way, a violent environment isn't good for your child, if you wanted to care for him really, you'd fix that problem. But what do I know? I'm an idiot! 

going crazy

Quoting Anonymous:

I HAD THE BABY IN MY ARMS!!! He was screaming long befor that you idiot.

Quoting EvilAsh:

Why would you not just go get the baby? Just because your awesome boyfriend was yelling at you? No wonder your kid was screaming.


CafeMom Tickers
Val99
by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:37 AM

I never thought I was around perfect men, but you are making me believe I have been quite fortunate with both my husbands.

Quoting armstrong7984:

lol than you must be around perfect men, cause i know lots of men in my family who needed a good slapping every now and then.

Quoting Val99:

I can't even fathom being married to a man who I believe "deserved" violence.  If I felt he deserved violence, I would leave.

Quoting armstrong7984:

sure if you say so. im not a voilent person but yes ive slapped my hubby twice and he deserved it.

Quoting Val99:

So you believe an act of violence against your spouse is OK, as long as you can't hit as hard. :/

That is an odd philosophy and one I do not agree with.  

Quoting armstrong7984:

sorry i have to say that my punch compared to my dhs would have A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IMPACT. He would prolly knock me out compared to what damage i would do. I dont know what type of guys all you ladies have, but mine is much stronger than me.

 And plus my hubby would die before he ever touched a female like that.

Quoting sandra_t00:

So next time you get all crazy and shit you deserve to get punched in the face by your SO/husband/whatever right?

Quoting Anonymous:

I wouldn't apologize. He deserved it


Shani527
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:38 AM
Holy crap lady! go get some anger management classes or somwthing...the face!?!?! punch!?!/! damn!
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mary841108
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this

 i would have punched you back. why is it ok for you to go all apeshit and hit him, but i bet if roles were reversed you would have been having him hauled to jail. i think he should call the cops and have you arrested for domestic violence.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this

If it was the man who had hit the woman, everyone would be screaming bloody murder about how wrong it was and calling the cops and pressing charges.  Sorry, but the same thing goes for hitting a man.  It doesn't matter if you're smaller or can't hit as hard.  Women can be abusers, too.  Abuse is abuse, no matter who is doing it and who it is being done to.  All these responses justifying your hitting him are disgusting.  If your reaction was to hit your boyfriend in the face just because you were frazzled and he was yelling, then you need some anger management.  You both need some counselling at the very least.  He needs to learn not to yell when stressed and you need to learn not to resort to violence.  Get help.  Both of you.  Otherwise, I pity your children.

GinaW1971
by New Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:41 AM

At times like these, it's hard to deal with the crying and the bf becoming upset. I recall being a new Mom and it is def a change. Take a deep breath and maybe just step outside for a moment. Sorry to hear that this happened. Sometimes guys think that we are sopposed to "make it all better, and now!"

 

Well, remember that you are new to this all and your anxious as well and your nerves can be tested easily, espeacially it you are thrust into having to make your bf content durng this time to.

 

He should not add to your stress, maybe he could just go outside next time  :-)  Good Luck with that sweet little baby!!!

artistmom27
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:52 AM

Agreed.

OP: you need to look into some counsiling so you both are going to be able to cope. You don't want to accidently direct your rage and frustration on your child.


Quoting D.O.E.:

I was going to say "we all do things we regret, the trick is to learn from your mistakes and not repeat them"
But in this case im just gonna say, thats not cool. You punched your partner i. The face.
Should he have been yelli.g at you? Well no i am sure it also did not help calm baby either. But way to escelate the situation and make somethi.v thats not a big deal (crying bBy and flustered man) way way worse.
If it wouldnt fly as an excuse for him to hit you why should it fly as an excuse for you to hit him?

Thats domestic violence. You need to may e go to some anger managment or something.
And perhaps you both would benefit from parentibg classes and perhaps learn some communication skills.

You cant be flipping out on each other every time your kid has a nightmare or hurts himself or whatever.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:24 AM
If you read some of OP's replies she said her bf is in AA and that she thought they needed counseling for a long time. And for your information I have been on the receiving end of a hit. One hit wouldn't make me divorce my dh and it didn't. If she would have said that she had been putting her hands on him over and over again then I would day yes cut all ties and get out. But whatever you are quick to call her an abuser and an evil bad person for having a momentary breakdown and making a mistake.



Quoting D.O.E.:

"who is in AA so he was probably drunk"?  nice, thats real nice.  i am pregnant and have BEEN in the situation with crying baby and flustered and frustrated husband. 

amazingly, never punched him, may have felt a twinge like i wanted to, but that wouldnt help shit, would it? 

even if he WAS  drunk, thats not an excuse. 

stop making excuses because if you had been on the recieving end of that fist you would be talking divorce and you know it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well good for you for not ever doing something stupid. This women is pregnant and has a 6 moth old she was trying to tend to and a grown man (who is in AA so he was probably drunk) yelling at her. She screwed up and made a mistake. And if the roles were reversed I would feel the same way.





Quoting 3xangel:

You hypocritical bitches are ridiculous. Doesn't matter if it was one punch or a beating this pathetic excuse of a woman is an abuser. Period. If it was vice versa you ho's would be telling her to call the cops, but because she's smaller and has a vagina she gets a pass for hitting him? Wtf. He should leave her and take his child with him.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:29 AM
Your welcome. And don't worry bout what some of these obviously perfect people are saying. Your not an evil person. Hope everything goes well and glad baby is OK.


Quoting Anonymous:

He goes straight to work so I never see him in the mornings and I feel text or phone apologies are not very genuine so I'll have to wait to talk to him and apologize. The baby was back to sleep about 30 mins later when I wrote this. Thank you for your uplifting encouragement and kind words. I appreciate it.



Quoting Anonymous:

Yea that would make it worse. Hormones go wild plus having small baby. Maybe some meditating and self control reading might help out. He will forgive you. We all do stupid things sometimes. Just give him time. Is the baby OK now.






Quoting Anonymous:

No no black eye. It was more of a close fisted hit than a punch. Im quite small compared to him so it wasn't with force or anything. That doesn't make it better just giving you a better picture. This is our first child. He's going to AA and I told him we needed counseling long before this. It's like he needs maturity counseling though. I know I may benefit from anger management but I don't think I necessarily "need" it. I'm pregnant so my anxiety is 50 times worse and it's like he does it on purpose. Idk.







Quoting Anonymous:

Did it hurt him. Like black eye or something. He should have left you alone to tend to ds. But you need to learn to control your emotions. Is this your first baby? If so definitely some anger management for you because this is just the beginning. I would just leave bf alone for a while. Sit down and talk in the morning. Good luck.


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