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Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Seriously ladies you want to know if you should ALLOW your DH/SO to do something.  Do you like asking for permission to do things you want? I guess because there is no jealous bone in my body that I could care less what my DH does.  He goes out with his friends every Saturday night.  He goes out for beers after work and doesn't tell me all the time.  If he is not home for dinner I just pop a plate in the fridge for him.  I don't feel the need to call or text him if he is late coming home and I don't ask him where he has been.  But he usually tells me once he gets home.  I trust him 100% if I didn't I wouldn't be with him.  It just makes me laugh that many of actually expect your DH/SO to ask permission.  Its a relationship between two adults.  They are not your children! If I were as controlling as that he would have left awhile back.  And if he were that controlling I would have left too!

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:59 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:11 AM

My husband doesn't ask permission but he does let me know if he goes somewhere and/or he is going to be late...that's just being courteous of the person you are married to/living with...I do the same thing if I go somewhere or will be late

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:11 AM

Quoting AnnieMcD:

Yeah, Husband and I don't ask each other permission for shit. We're not one another's parents.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:11 AM

 Just because my husband and I trust each other doesn't mean we don't expect to be shown respect. I do not mind at all when I have to ask him if it's okay for me to do x y or z. For us, it's a part of being a married couple. If he's not okay with something, I'm not going to do it. If I'm not okay with something, he won't do it. We value and respect each others opinions enough to ask before doing something that could cause a fight.

by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:11 AM

Hey...since your husband seem to be hanging out at bars regularly, I hope he does not run into the CMer that recently started having one night stands with random guys she meets at bars! Or even worse, hopefully, he does not accidentally cheat on you!

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM

We don't expect each other to do it. But I like to call him if I am out somewhere and let him know where I am that way is something happened to me like a wreck or anything he would know where to find me. He calls me if he's working late so that I don't worry that he was injured or something. We appreciate and respect each other. And sometimes because he is the breadwinner I ask him if its okay to spend money on certain things, like yesterday asking if he was alright with my paying for my grandmother's breakfast or lunch since it was her birthday. I already knew he would say yes, but for peace of mind I asked him even though I am the one whole handles all the money.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM

Dh and I don't ask permission, but its a respect thing. I don't do thing he's uncomfortable with and vise versa. People are allowed to have their own relationships and handle them the way they want. Maybe you don't call or maybe you're ok with him going out all the time, some women aren't and there's nothing wrong with it as long as it's a mutual thing and both are happy with that arrangement.

by Emerald Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM

wow he just walks all over you and you just let him huh. 

Unlike yours my husband has respect for me

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM
I'm the same way you are. We make sure there aren't any other plans going on and we do let each other know where we are and when we head home just incase anything happens. But I don't allow him to do anything and he doesn't allow me to do anything
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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM

For the most part I don't worry.  If he is in an accident I am his primary contact in his wallet and on his phone under WIFE so I am sure I would get a call once he was in the hospital.  If he is unconscious he wouldn't answer his phone anyway so what good would calling him do?

Quoting motherslove82:

I don't ALLOW or not allow him to do things. I do let him know where I'm going and he does the same. It's about mutual respect and so we don't worry if one of us is not where the other thought they would be. If I have a problem with him doing something (which almost never happens), I will tell him. Then he can decide it he wants to do it anyway. It's the same if he has a problem with something I want to do.

I have a question. If your DH was in a car accident on the way home, or if something else happened to him, how would you know to look for him? You would probably just assume he went out with friends after work. DH used to be bad about going off after work, but I'm a worrier, so I asked him to please let me know (we would talk on the phone, he would say he was on the way home, then impulsively stop somewhere. An hour later, when he still hadn't shown up, I would start to worry that something had happened.). I have always let him know. It's not about being controlling. I don't care if he goes off with friends or stops to look at a store. I just want to know that he is ok so that I don't worry.

by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM

my DH doesn't ask permission to go anywhere. But there is a level of respect.. he doesn't just say "hey im going out tomorrow night" he will say something like "would you mind if i go have a few beers and watch the game tonight" or "is there anthing going on next weekend because the guys are getting together" 

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