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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is he ALLOWED

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Seriously ladies you want to know if you should ALLOW your DH/SO to do something.  Do you like asking for permission to do things you want? I guess because there is no jealous bone in my body that I could care less what my DH does.  He goes out with his friends every Saturday night.  He goes out for beers after work and doesn't tell me all the time.  If he is not home for dinner I just pop a plate in the fridge for him.  I don't feel the need to call or text him if he is late coming home and I don't ask him where he has been.  But he usually tells me once he gets home.  I trust him 100% if I didn't I wouldn't be with him.  It just makes me laugh that many of actually expect your DH/SO to ask permission.  Its a relationship between two adults.  They are not your children! If I were as controlling as that he would have left awhile back.  And if he were that controlling I would have left too!

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:59 AM
Replies (31-40):
kryptomom
by Gold Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM

You may trust your dh, but he sounds a little inconsiderate.

My dh checks with me, doesn't necessarily ask permission, to make sure that his plans won't conflict with family plans.

Kimsd
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM
There's a difference between trying to control someone and asking for common courtesy.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
aikimomof3
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM

I think that marriage is a partnership, and if you want to do something out of the norm, you should respect your SO enough to ask if it is okay with them. Not permission per se, but common courtesy. This is the person you share your life with... you should not assume something is okay with them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh we have tons of respect.  I go out when I want to as well.  I don't ask him I just go.  I never said we never talk about our plans because for the most part we do.  I just don't go all "he's cheating on me" everytime he doesn't call or answer my call like many on here seem to do.


Quoting notjstasocermom:

wow he just walks all over you and you just let him huh. 

Unlike yours my husband has respect for me



baquick
by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM
All I ask is a courtesy call:text to let me know he is working late or going out. I don't need to know where. Just a general idea of time. I always text to let him know. Especially since one of us has to pick ds up or call my grandma to see if she can if we can't.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
coala
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:15 AM

I don't expect him to tell me where he is going,  but I want to know when to expect him home.  I don't care if he misses dinner, but I need to know or I will worry.  If he says I will be back in an hour and is gone for 3 and I call 6 times with no answer, you bet your a$$ I am going to worry....just my nature.  I am usually worried that he is in a ditch on the side of the road.  I trust him, but damnit I deserve to know.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:16 AM

We have a family calendar on the fridge that has everything posted on it when it comes to planned things.  If there is nothing on the calendar the day is fair game.  


Quoting kryptomom:

You may trust your dh, but he sounds a little inconsiderate.

My dh checks with me, doesn't necessarily ask permission, to make sure that his plans won't conflict with family plans.



Charris920
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:16 AM

I don't know about allowing? I don't expect my husband to ask for permission to do something ( I'm not his mother), but what I do expect is for him to inform me if he will not be home on time or for dinner. That is just a respect thing for me. I call it "communication." Just like I would let him know if I will be late, because I wouldn't want him to worry.  That has nothing to do with jealousy or trust, just respect for your spouse.

AnastasiaKorsh
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:17 AM

Cool story.

I like to respect my partner enough to let him know where I am going and when I'll be back. Just like he respects me enough to let me know. This includes asking each other, if its fine if the other goes out. Nothing to do with jealousy or trust.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:17 AM

If my DH goes out after work I don't care, but he needs to call & tell me.  Not bc I'm jealous but bc I would worry & also to make sure there were no plans. Usually he knows about plans but he sometimes forgets or things will pop up w/the kids.

It is respectful that he calls to let me know.  Other than that I do not care what he does.

I want to know where he's at in case of an emergency! That is common sense right there as well.

He would never not tell what was going on, it is disrespectful.

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