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Mom with 2 girls (or more)... I need some encouragment

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I'm 20 weeks pregnant with a baby I didn't intend to conceive (we thought SO was infertile but still used protection - turns out he wasn't infertile and spermicide wasn't the most effective protection) and I have had a lot of trouble accepting the fact that I'm having another child. About a month ago, I finally came to terms with it and actually started looking forward to having a baby again. But the entire pregnancy, just about everyone (including me) thought that I was having a boy...

Well, we had our ultrasound yesterday

It's not that I don't like little girls, it's just that I already have one. I love her to death, but she's a fireball of energy, a hurricane of emotion, and super clingy. It takes everything out of me just to keep her contained. It's not that she's a bad kid or a lack of discipline - this is something that people have commented on since she was 8 months old - how much energy she has and how moody she is. That's just her.

And I was really looking forward to having a boy and a little bit of a balance of emotions. Preferably more laid-back. I know that every kid is different, but the thought of having two girls scares me even more than the thought of having two kids. All I can think about is crazy pre-teen years, make-up bills, dating worries, and expensive clothes. I've already been hospitalized this pregnancy and almost died (pregnancy is very, very hard on me), along with getting some very ugly stretch marks that I'm nowhere near coming to terms with (I didn't get any with DD1), and I kinda feel like I went through all of that to get something that I already have.

SO was happy about having a girl, which surprised me some because I thought the amount of estrogen might be a bit overwhelming, and I shared some of my feelings about the baby with him, but I mean the baby is here there's not much we can do.

I had a baby boy name picked out, but not a girl name, and I've been looking through them (I've gone through 36 pages of names so far), but nothing seems to "click" and I don't know if it's because I just don't feel attached to this baby. I feel guilty for not being excited, especially when I know that some women TTC for years without success, and when I know some ladies want that little girl so bad.

I think a lot of my feelings with probably go away once the baby is born, but in the meantime I don't know how to cope with the guilt of being disappointed that this baby is a girl or how to get excited again. I'm just so worried that this baby will be just as challenging as my first, and I also wonder if I'll ever have a boy (after all, pregnancy isn't the greatest option for me).

Any advice/ encouragement from moms with girls?

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Replies (11-20):
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:31 AM

I have three girls. VERY different personalities. 

by the sauce is boss on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:33 AM
4 girls here.. They are all completely different!!!

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by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:33 AM

Just because you're having another girl don't mean she'll be like the DD you have now.  I have a DD and one on the way.  Even my pregnancies with the two are different.  My DD is 5, hard headed, energetic, still hates to sleep, and is a DIVA.  That doesn't mean that the little girl I'm carrying will be the same.  

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:34 AM

 I have two girls, my sd who is 3 and my dd who is 2. My sd (I've been in her life her whole life) has always been more demanding and my dd has always been laid back. Every child is different and I have to say I love the relationship my girls are developing! If you ask them who their best friends are they say each other and it warms my heart.

by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this

I have two girls. I was upset when we found out the second one was a girl. But now 11 year later I wouldn't have it any other way. My girls are 14 and 11. I love it. Yes sometime I want to pull my hair out but I think that would happen regardless. They are completely different. They like different things, wear diffferent styles and are not the same at all. I think having two makes it easier. Sometimes the hormones are out of control and all of us PMSing sends DH running for the hills. But I keep lots of chocolate and Midol on hand. LOL!! I think the most pain in the ass thing is the drama that comes from girls, not necessarily your own but the other girls at school or thier friends. I have learned to deal though. You got this mama!!

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:42 AM


Quoting BKozICan:

Two kids, even the same gender, can be very different. My two are night and day (two boys).

Same here, I have two boys and they are so opposite.  The oldest is more laid back, calm and so easy going and the youngest.....that boy has so much energy, it's like he climbs the wall.  I refer to him as my wild child.  I just wished I had his energy some days.

Now, I have a girl.  She is pretty easy going for the most but she is at that teen stage, 13.....hormones.  LOL

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by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:43 AM
Well. I have a 4 yo dd and I'm expecting girl #2 in 7 weeks. Personally I'm elated. My dd is similar to yours a ball of emotions, hyper, crazy, moody, sassy but she's my little girl. She's so excited for her sister, can't wait to help, and even picking out matching clothes for them. Try not to focus ob the negative aspects. Remember they will be each others biggest fan, and they'll fight and pull each others hair but they'll have each others backs too. As I said I'm due in 7 weeks and baby #2 still has no name. That stuff will come in time! Enjoy your blessing mama
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:45 AM
I have 2 boys, ages 14&16, they are polar opposites. I have 3 girls, ages 3,7&8. My oldest dd is so mellow, and her younger sisters are hellions! I don't think gender is necessarily that big a part of their personality.
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by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:48 AM
I have 2 others have said, night and day in terms of personalities.

DD1 is my wildchild with tons of attention issues but very independent and self soothing. DD2 is a calmer personality bit dependent and clingy.

You really never know what you'll get and even though they're 3 years apart, they adore each other and are close.
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by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:52 AM
I have a 10 year old and 6 year old girl. I felt like you do but I love both my girls so much. They are so close and do most things together. Now I haven't went through the teen years and not looking forward to that. The whole dating and stuff freaks me out still. You'll be OK. My third was a boy. My miracle wasn't supposed to have anymore. He is the wildest of them all. I can't keep up or handle him at all. So the grass isn't always greener.
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