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Mom with 2 girls (or more)... I need some encouragment

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I'm 20 weeks pregnant with a baby I didn't intend to conceive (we thought SO was infertile but still used protection - turns out he wasn't infertile and spermicide wasn't the most effective protection) and I have had a lot of trouble accepting the fact that I'm having another child. About a month ago, I finally came to terms with it and actually started looking forward to having a baby again. But the entire pregnancy, just about everyone (including me) thought that I was having a boy...

Well, we had our ultrasound yesterday

It's not that I don't like little girls, it's just that I already have one. I love her to death, but she's a fireball of energy, a hurricane of emotion, and super clingy. It takes everything out of me just to keep her contained. It's not that she's a bad kid or a lack of discipline - this is something that people have commented on since she was 8 months old - how much energy she has and how moody she is. That's just her.

And I was really looking forward to having a boy and a little bit of a balance of emotions. Preferably more laid-back. I know that every kid is different, but the thought of having two girls scares me even more than the thought of having two kids. All I can think about is crazy pre-teen years, make-up bills, dating worries, and expensive clothes. I've already been hospitalized this pregnancy and almost died (pregnancy is very, very hard on me), along with getting some very ugly stretch marks that I'm nowhere near coming to terms with (I didn't get any with DD1), and I kinda feel like I went through all of that to get something that I already have.

SO was happy about having a girl, which surprised me some because I thought the amount of estrogen might be a bit overwhelming, and I shared some of my feelings about the baby with him, but I mean the baby is here there's not much we can do.

I had a baby boy name picked out, but not a girl name, and I've been looking through them (I've gone through 36 pages of names so far), but nothing seems to "click" and I don't know if it's because I just don't feel attached to this baby. I feel guilty for not being excited, especially when I know that some women TTC for years without success, and when I know some ladies want that little girl so bad.

I think a lot of my feelings with probably go away once the baby is born, but in the meantime I don't know how to cope with the guilt of being disappointed that this baby is a girl or how to get excited again. I'm just so worried that this baby will be just as challenging as my first, and I also wonder if I'll ever have a boy (after all, pregnancy isn't the greatest option for me).

Any advice/ encouragement from moms with girls?

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:53 AM
I had 5 girls, 1 boy and realllly hoped for a boy w last child. Yes, I was dissapointed for a few weeks, but then got over it. Shes 13 now. Teen years werent bad. Jyst keep communication open and flowing.
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by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:53 AM

I have 3 children my son is 23 and gay.. I have two daughters 21 and 14.. my son was laid back sweet quite little guy...that wishes he was the only child..DD1 was a blessing sweet till about 14-17 hell on wheels.. but turned it around made her mom proud ..DD2 is a good kid..makes good grades has good friends...Every child or person is different if they were all the same life would be boring. Every child is a blessing from god and deserved to be loved..wish you luck..

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:54 AM

So far, my two girls are very different. My oldest is a sensitive mellow child and my youngest is very high energy. Maybe you will have a mellow girl to add balance :)

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:55 AM

My girls were both very different.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:56 AM
I have two girls, tween and toddler. I couldn't ask for better kids. They make it easy to want more. But then I'm pretty laid back and have a very positive outlook so I suppose they just take after me. Everyone says they're little mes. :-)
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by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:58 AM

I had four girls before i had my boy.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:59 AM

I have 2 girls, they are 12 years apart. The first one was always my challenging one lol. AND now she's 30 years old and still is! My youngest girl is 17 and she's so laid back and nothing like the first one. Just because they are both girls doesn't mean they will have the same personality, thank God! lol

by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Sometimes I think my two girls are different species.
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by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:32 PM

I felt exactly the same way.Everyone swore I was having a boy, even me.I looked and felt totally different than my first pregnancy.I was hoping to have one of each since we will probably not be having any more than 2 and I know had badly dh wanted a son.I was extremely disappointed when I went for the sono and found out it was another girl.Like you, we had a boy name already picked out and couldn't decide on one for a girl until right before she was born.However, as long as the baby was healthy that really was all that mattered.Now I couldn't imagine it any other way and my 3 year old absolutely loves her little sis.I'm a bit of a girly girl myself so I don't know how good I would be the boy stuff anyway.The best part is not having to buy any new clothes, toys etc. 

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Yes I'm a mom to 3 girls and one boy. My girls are when they were babies.and still now easy, laid back,independent. Now my son lol total opposite!! He's from wake-sleep on the go keeping me on my feet. I did not realize when it was just my girls how easy I had it ! Lol. I love every second of it though! Once u hold your little angel in your arms everything will change. Just think of how some ppl cannot have the chance to even have one baby. There is nothing like it!
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