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Mom with 2 girls (or more)... I need some encouragment

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I'm 20 weeks pregnant with a baby I didn't intend to conceive (we thought SO was infertile but still used protection - turns out he wasn't infertile and spermicide wasn't the most effective protection) and I have had a lot of trouble accepting the fact that I'm having another child. About a month ago, I finally came to terms with it and actually started looking forward to having a baby again. But the entire pregnancy, just about everyone (including me) thought that I was having a boy...

Well, we had our ultrasound yesterday

It's not that I don't like little girls, it's just that I already have one. I love her to death, but she's a fireball of energy, a hurricane of emotion, and super clingy. It takes everything out of me just to keep her contained. It's not that she's a bad kid or a lack of discipline - this is something that people have commented on since she was 8 months old - how much energy she has and how moody she is. That's just her.

And I was really looking forward to having a boy and a little bit of a balance of emotions. Preferably more laid-back. I know that every kid is different, but the thought of having two girls scares me even more than the thought of having two kids. All I can think about is crazy pre-teen years, make-up bills, dating worries, and expensive clothes. I've already been hospitalized this pregnancy and almost died (pregnancy is very, very hard on me), along with getting some very ugly stretch marks that I'm nowhere near coming to terms with (I didn't get any with DD1), and I kinda feel like I went through all of that to get something that I already have.

SO was happy about having a girl, which surprised me some because I thought the amount of estrogen might be a bit overwhelming, and I shared some of my feelings about the baby with him, but I mean the baby is here there's not much we can do.

I had a baby boy name picked out, but not a girl name, and I've been looking through them (I've gone through 36 pages of names so far), but nothing seems to "click" and I don't know if it's because I just don't feel attached to this baby. I feel guilty for not being excited, especially when I know that some women TTC for years without success, and when I know some ladies want that little girl so bad.

I think a lot of my feelings with probably go away once the baby is born, but in the meantime I don't know how to cope with the guilt of being disappointed that this baby is a girl or how to get excited again. I'm just so worried that this baby will be just as challenging as my first, and I also wonder if I'll ever have a boy (after all, pregnancy isn't the greatest option for me).

Any advice/ encouragement from moms with girls?

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Replies (31-33):
Night_Roane
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:49 PM

 I wish. Sadly,  I had DD 5 years ago, and with no intention of having another one anytime soon I got rid of all of her baby stuff, except the clothes. But we moved in December, and with no idea if we were having a boy or a girl, we thought it would be best to donate it and save room for the essential stuff we had to move. But I did tell DD this means she'll be sharing everything from now on LOL.


Quoting VictoriaAnn44:

I felt exactly the same way.Everyone swore I was having a boy, even me.I looked and felt totally different than my first pregnancy.I was hoping to have one of each since we will probably not be having any more than 2 and I know had badly dh wanted a son.I was extremely disappointed when I went for the sono and found out it was another girl.Like you, we had a boy name already picked out and couldn't decide on one for a girl until right before she was born.However, as long as the baby was healthy that really was all that mattered.Now I couldn't imagine it any other way and my 3 year old absolutely loves her little sis.I'm a bit of a girly girl myself so I don't know how good I would be the boy stuff anyway.The best part is not having to buy any new clothes, toys etc. 


 

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

VictoriaAnn44
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:16 PM


Oh no ! that really stinks..I didn't think we would have another one either for at least a few more years so with much apprehension from me dh put all of our baby gear on craigslist.Thankfully none of it sold right away so we just kept it. Maybe one day you will decide to have third and get your boy, but you will def enjoy having 2 girls. At least until the teenage years which I'm dreading lol

Quoting Night_Roane:

 I wish. Sadly,  I had DD 5 years ago, and with no intention of having another one anytime soon I got rid of all of her baby stuff, except the clothes. But we moved in December, and with no idea if we were having a boy or a girl, we thought it would be best to donate it and save room for the essential stuff we had to move. But I did tell DD this means she'll be sharing everything from now on LOL.


Quoting VictoriaAnn44:

I felt exactly the same way.Everyone swore I was having a boy, even me.I looked and felt totally different than my first pregnancy.I was hoping to have one of each since we will probably not be having any more than 2 and I know had badly dh wanted a son.I was extremely disappointed when I went for the sono and found out it was another girl.Like you, we had a boy name already picked out and couldn't decide on one for a girl until right before she was born.However, as long as the baby was healthy that really was all that mattered.Now I couldn't imagine it any other way and my 3 year old absolutely loves her little sis.I'm a bit of a girly girl myself so I don't know how good I would be the boy stuff anyway.The best part is not having to buy any new clothes, toys etc. 





happykitty316
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:37 PM

I have a boy and a girl....My son is ADHD and all of the fun that comes with that.  My daughter is also a handful in different respects, but a handful nonetheless.  A boy doesn't guarantee laid back.  My parents have 2 girls and my sister and I are 100% opposite, as are her 2 boys.

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