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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Open Relationships?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Why do you want to sleep w/other people? Why are you ok w/your SO sleeping w/other people?

If you really loved them wouldn't they be enough for you? Shouldn't you be enough for them?

I have never understood this lifestyle.  I love my DH; I couldn't imagine wanting to be w/another man.

To each their own I respect that; guess I'm just trying to understand.

Bash me bc I'm sure some how this came our wrong; afterall this is MC & you can't sneeze w/o pissing someone off in here.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:26 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:47 AM
I completely understand that. When I was with my ex, I would be furious if he slept with another woman. Even the thought pissed me off and made me sad. I was in love with him

Now that I am single, I wouldn't mind being the "other woman" if the wife was open to it.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I know there are people in open relationships on here so hoping they can help.


I just don't see the appeal in dating someone when you are married, why not date your wife & spice things up that way?  Spice up the sex life?


I guess I just want to know why the person they love isn't enough that they feel the need to date others & sleep w/others.


In the end I guess I will more than likely never understand it bc for me I believe in being w/one person & that sex should be between 2 people who care about each other. 




Quoting Anonymous:

They do that also. When I asked him how he could watch his wife be with someone else, he said he like seeing her pleased.

I honestly think its about both of them being happy. Maybe they both want to sleep around but don't want to lose each other because they love their family life together? Idk I'm still trying to understand it.



Quoting Anonymous:


When I hear people talk about open relationship it isn't 3somes & watching; it is going out & sleeping w/whomever & they don't care as long as they are told & have it wrapped up. 



 



Quoting Anonymous:

I think she is wrong. I already replied about having a friend who has an open marriage. For him its that he likes to see his wife pleased sexually. He loves her and they are such a sweet family. They have a four yrs old and are constantly doing everything together.




Quoting Anonymous:



 Ok but then why  be in a relationship,why have a SO/Spouse; why not just go sleep around?




 




Quoting Pnukey:




I don't understand it either, but I do have a friend that is into that. He said it's the excitement of being with so many people that keeps the thrill and interest alive. It's not about love. It's about getting off as much as possible. Take love out of the equation, and there you have it.




 




 




 



 





 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:50 AM
Lol not saying other peoples age has anything to do with it. For me, I might feel this way because I still want to experience different men. I've only sexually been with 2 men and I am 23.


Quoting Anonymous:

LOL I'm not old; I've never believe in sleeping w/many people.


Why not have sexual fun w/your SO/Spouse/the person you love? 




Quoting Anonymous:

Because you want a family life but also still have sexual fun with others? I would be open to trying it out. I'm still young though so I probably wouldn't feel that way if I was older



Quoting Anonymous:


 I get honesty.



What I don't get is if you love your wife why do you (obviously the you is general) need to go out & sleep w/others & date others?  Why get married?



 



Quoting Anonymous:

I have a friend who's been in an open marriage with his wife for five years. I'm always asking him questions because I'm trying to understand it and its also a little intriguing.

He asked me if I wanted to date him because I was interested in that lifestyle. I'm single and declined. Were still just friends.

Its all about honesty


 



 





 


SterlingHeart
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:52 AM

in my case - i would love an open relationship because

when i met my now husband we were both single parents - we never were just about US - we were about family.  I love him for the provider, friend, father and husband he is - but we have never had that intense chemistry sexually and I miss it -- i miss that clawing the back sweat dripping off his nose omg just do it again sex!!!!   

I will never have that with my husband - he isn't designed that way and is rather imature and selfish sexually - oh well not like i didn't know that is what i was getting on day one -- it never mattered ----- however as time goes on and the kids get older and at age 39 when my hormones spiked and i hit my sexual peak -- yeah kinda restent the lack of intimacy now ---  i don't have any plan (okay some days I do) to leave him or end our great marriage ---- but yeah would be nice to have a hall pass!!!!!!!!!!


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:58 AM

 Ok so maybe it is my psych courses kicking in here but for me what I'm hearing is that you don't truly love him.  Seems more like a friendship than a "I am in love w/that man & he makes my heart race even years later" relationship.  Seems you got married more for the kids?

So maybe some in open relationships just really aren't in love? 


Quoting SterlingHeart:

in my case - i would love an open relationship because

when i met my now husband we were both single parents - we never were just about US - we were about family.  I love him for the provider, friend, father and husband he is - but we have never had that intense chemistry sexually and I miss it -- i miss that clawing the back sweat dripping off his nose omg just do it again sex!!!!   

I will never have that with my husband - he isn't designed that way and is rather imature and selfish sexually - oh well not like i didn't know that is what i was getting on day one -- it never mattered ----- however as time goes on and the kids get older and at age 39 when my hormones spiked and i hit my sexual peak -- yeah kinda restent the lack of intimacy now ---  i don't have any plan (okay some days I do) to leave him or end our great marriage ---- but yeah would be nice to have a hall pass!!!!!!!!!!



 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:59 AM

Hmmm....I guess that is another reason why I will never understand.

I could never treat sex so casually. 


Quoting Anonymous:

Lol not saying other peoples age has anything to do with it. For me, I might feel this way because I still want to experience different men. I've only sexually been with 2 men and I am 23.


Quoting Anonymous:

LOL I'm not old; I've never believe in sleeping w/many people.


Why not have sexual fun w/your SO/Spouse/the person you love? 


 


Quoting Anonymous:

Because you want a family life but also still have sexual fun with others? I would be open to trying it out. I'm still young though so I probably wouldn't feel that way if I was older



Quoting Anonymous:


 I get honesty.



What I don't get is if you love your wife why do you (obviously the you is general) need to go out & sleep w/others & date others?  Why get married?



 



Quoting Anonymous:

I have a friend who's been in an open marriage with his wife for five years. I'm always asking him questions because I'm trying to understand it and its also a little intriguing.

He asked me if I wanted to date him because I was interested in that lifestyle. I'm single and declined. Were still just friends.

Its all about honesty


 



 



 


 



 

Twix.Leigh
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:00 PM
For some that may be the case. But then open relationships are much different from Polyamory. I've been in both of the above.and am currently committed to one person. Different relationships work different. But no, not all relationships are about how much you can get off. It's about connecting, love, friendship, everything you find in a single committed relationship. Just means they connect with more then one person.


Quoting Pnukey:

I don't understand it either, but I do have a friend that is into that. He said it's the excitement of being with so many people that keeps the thrill and interest alive. It's not about love. It's about getting off as much as possible. Take love out of the equation, and there you have it.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:00 PM
My husband and I have an open marriage with out the sleeping around stuff. We talk to who ever we want, we go out separately, we have even taken vacations separately. We like our life style. The only difference for us is we don't have sex with differently people. For us its about being independent.
DonnaNoble
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:01 PM
Not everyone is wired for monogamy. In fact, I don't know if it's true, bit I've read that most men aren't.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
5PointedHuman
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:02 PM

Well, there are Open Relationships, then there are Triads, Group Marriages, Swingers, etc. My husband and I want a Triad.

SterlingHeart
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:02 PM

I am in love with him and love him and my heart does skip a beat when we are together and he is actually focused on me and being sweet ---- but he is all work and rather gruff at times.....  that wears on a person ----  but no i am not in LUST with him at all --- I respect him and would never go outside my marriage --- but I won't deny the open marriage concept doesn't appeal to me !! 

Quoting Anonymous:

 Ok so maybe it is my psych courses kicking in here but for me what I'm hearing is that you don't truly love him.  Seems more like a friendship than a "I am in love w/that man & he makes my heart race even years later" relationship.  Seems you got married more for the kids?

So maybe some in open relationships just really aren't in love? 


Quoting SterlingHeart:

in my case - i would love an open relationship because

when i met my now husband we were both single parents - we never were just about US - we were about family.  I love him for the provider, friend, father and husband he is - but we have never had that intense chemistry sexually and I miss it -- i miss that clawing the back sweat dripping off his nose omg just do it again sex!!!!   

I will never have that with my husband - he isn't designed that way and is rather imature and selfish sexually - oh well not like i didn't know that is what i was getting on day one -- it never mattered ----- however as time goes on and the kids get older and at age 39 when my hormones spiked and i hit my sexual peak -- yeah kinda restent the lack of intimacy now ---  i don't have any plan (okay some days I do) to leave him or end our great marriage ---- but yeah would be nice to have a hall pass!!!!!!!!!!





SterlingHeart

"these ramblings courtesy of a mom over 40"

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