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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Open Relationships?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Why do you want to sleep w/other people? Why are you ok w/your SO sleeping w/other people?

If you really loved them wouldn't they be enough for you? Shouldn't you be enough for them?

I have never understood this lifestyle.  I love my DH; I couldn't imagine wanting to be w/another man.

To each their own I respect that; guess I'm just trying to understand.

Bash me bc I'm sure some how this came our wrong; afterall this is MC & you can't sneeze w/o pissing someone off in here.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:26 AM
Replies (31-38):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:03 PM

 Why not try to fix the sex life then?


Quoting SterlingHeart:

I am in love with him and love him and my heart does skip a beat when we are together and he is actually focused on me and being sweet ---- but he is all work and rather gruff at times.....  that wears on a person ----  but no i am not in LUST with him at all --- I respect him and would never go outside my marriage --- but I won't deny the open marriage concept doesn't appeal to me !! 

Quoting Anonymous:

 Ok so maybe it is my psych courses kicking in here but for me what I'm hearing is that you don't truly love him.  Seems more like a friendship than a "I am in love w/that man & he makes my heart race even years later" relationship.  Seems you got married more for the kids?

So maybe some in open relationships just really aren't in love? 

 

Quoting SterlingHeart:

in my case - i would love an open relationship because

when i met my now husband we were both single parents - we never were just about US - we were about family.  I love him for the provider, friend, father and husband he is - but we have never had that intense chemistry sexually and I miss it -- i miss that clawing the back sweat dripping off his nose omg just do it again sex!!!!   

I will never have that with my husband - he isn't designed that way and is rather imature and selfish sexually - oh well not like i didn't know that is what i was getting on day one -- it never mattered ----- however as time goes on and the kids get older and at age 39 when my hormones spiked and i hit my sexual peak -- yeah kinda restent the lack of intimacy now ---  i don't have any plan (okay some days I do) to leave him or end our great marriage ---- but yeah would be nice to have a hall pass!!!!!!!!!!


 

 



 

sonnyswoman75
by Malisa on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:04 PM
I was in one and yes I did enjoy it but my current love came from us both being in open relationships. We are both sure we want just each other.I wouldnt share him with anyone.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:06 PM

 Sorry never considered that an open marriage, unless you are dating the people you are out with.

I go out w/o my DH, I go out w/my friends.  I've gone on vacations w/friends as well.

I talk to many people; I'm very social.

I'm not sure how that is an open marriage.


Quoting Anonymous:

My husband and I have an open marriage with out the sleeping around stuff. We talk to who ever we want, we go out separately, we have even taken vacations separately. We like our life style. The only difference for us is we don't have sex with differently people. For us its about being independent.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:07 PM

My DH and I are in an open marriage.  It is not like we go out every weekend and have sex with other people.  I actually haven't slept with anyone else in almost a year.  Him its been longer than that.  To us we have the mentality that sex is sex and love is love.  I make love to my husband but have sex with others.  It is not for everyone and I wouldn't suggest it to others either.  It is also something we talk about.  We also don't bring others home and we don't talk about it in front of our kids.  Protection is a must too. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:08 PM

 Please don't take this wrong bc I am not trying to offend anyone at all.

But when I read this for me it tells me that maybe they think they are in love but aren't really in love since they can share who they claim to love.

You found love & can't be in that life anymore.  I am glad you are happy:)


Quoting sonnyswoman75:

I was in one and yes I did enjoy it but my current love came from us both being in open relationships. We are both sure we want just each other.I wouldnt share him with anyone.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:11 PM

 What I'm trying to understand is why there is a need to go sleep w/someone else; why not just your husband?

I mean no disrespect, just trying to understand.  Which I get I may not since I couldn't imagine sharing my DH but figured I'd try to understand.


Quoting Anonymous:

My DH and I are in an open marriage.  It is not like we go out every weekend and have sex with other people.  I actually haven't slept with anyone else in almost a year.  Him its been longer than that.  To us we have the mentality that sex is sex and love is love.  I make love to my husband but have sex with others.  It is not for everyone and I wouldn't suggest it to others either.  It is also something we talk about.  We also don't bring others home and we don't talk about it in front of our kids.  Protection is a must too. 


 

SterlingHeart
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:12 PM

i have..... i have written to him errotica (which he said was hot and turned him on) so he can imagine what it is i crave --- I have guided him verbally softly and considerately - i have tried to be the one in control to lead him --- we just dont have "that" chemistry and after a while --- you just accept and enjoy what it is you do have.  But i will not deny that there is so much more to me than what he sees that he just doesn't bring out of me --- heart breaking honestly --- 

i have spoken to him about his 1st experiences with sex and he was never taught by a woman how to "love"  pleasing her -- so many of his girlfriends were just stupid and young and didn't know how to be a lover or teacher  -- sex was in out and done 

my first 2 lovers were tender and sensual and couldn't please me enough -- very different mentality --- it drove me to please them to no end -- because it was returned and that fed back and forth for very great intense sex -- i was a very lucky girl.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Why not try to fix the sex life then?


Quoting SterlingHeart:

I am in love with him and love him and my heart does skip a beat when we are together and he is actually focused on me and being sweet ---- but he is all work and rather gruff at times.....  that wears on a person ----  but no i am not in LUST with him at all --- I respect him and would never go outside my marriage --- but I won't deny the open marriage concept doesn't appeal to me !! 

Quoting Anonymous:

 Ok so maybe it is my psych courses kicking in here but for me what I'm hearing is that you don't truly love him.  Seems more like a friendship than a "I am in love w/that man & he makes my heart race even years later" relationship.  Seems you got married more for the kids?

So maybe some in open relationships just really aren't in love? 


Quoting SterlingHeart:

in my case - i would love an open relationship because

when i met my now husband we were both single parents - we never were just about US - we were about family.  I love him for the provider, friend, father and husband he is - but we have never had that intense chemistry sexually and I miss it -- i miss that clawing the back sweat dripping off his nose omg just do it again sex!!!!   

I will never have that with my husband - he isn't designed that way and is rather imature and selfish sexually - oh well not like i didn't know that is what i was getting on day one -- it never mattered ----- however as time goes on and the kids get older and at age 39 when my hormones spiked and i hit my sexual peak -- yeah kinda restent the lack of intimacy now ---  i don't have any plan (okay some days I do) to leave him or end our great marriage ---- but yeah would be nice to have a hall pass!!!!!!!!!!








SterlingHeart

"these ramblings courtesy of a mom over 40"

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Its not a need but a want.   Most people have a look but don't touch in their relationship.  We have the same thing but we can touch.  If feelings start to get hurt or if we don't want to share at that point in time then the other complies and doesn't do it.  It is really hard to make someone understand it.  You either agree or you don't type of thing.  


Quoting Anonymous:

 What I'm trying to understand is why there is a need to go sleep w/someone else; why not just your husband?

I mean no disrespect, just trying to understand.  Which I get I may not since I couldn't imagine sharing my DH but figured I'd try to understand.


Quoting Anonymous:

My DH and I are in an open marriage.  It is not like we go out every weekend and have sex with other people.  I actually haven't slept with anyone else in almost a year.  Him its been longer than that.  To us we have the mentality that sex is sex and love is love.  I make love to my husband but have sex with others.  It is not for everyone and I wouldn't suggest it to others either.  It is also something we talk about.  We also don't bring others home and we don't talk about it in front of our kids.  Protection is a must too. 





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