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Question for those who were teen moms or have dd's who became teen moms....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

First off this is not a bashing post at all.  Just curious.

Did you have an open relationship with your mom/daughter where you felt comfortable discussing issues such as birth control and safe sex?

Did your mom know you were sexually active?  Did you know your daughter was?

What do you feel could have changed this situation?

Was your mom or were you a teen mom?  Do you feel that the cycle repeats itself?

If you were a teen mom.....how would you feel if your dd became a teen mom?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:25 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:34 PM

bump

carterjacksmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:35 PM

My mother was a teen mom.  She did not have an open relationship with her mother.  I was not a teen mom (1st child 35) I had a very open relationship with my mother and was on BC as a teen.

mommytotwonow
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:43 PM

Did you have an open relationship with your mom/daughter where you felt comfortable discussing issues such as birth control and safe sex? no

Did your mom know you were sexually active? yes

What do you feel could have changed this situation? had someone involved in my life

Was your mom or were you a teen mom? Do you feel that the cycle repeats itself? yes!

If you were a teen mom.....how would you feel if your dd became a teen mom?

i would be very upset. i am a big believer of abstinenceand have been teaching my son for years. i plan on doing this differently!

I'm a nursing, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, baby wearing mommy of two beautiful boys!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 1:44 PM

I was a teen Mom, I could not talk to my Mom about sex. I thought I was being safe but I was so uneducated about. I came from a very religious house sex before marriage was a sure ticket to hell. we did not talk about sex or our bodies, in fact I hid my breast under baggy shirts for almost a year before my mom noticed I needed a bra. I was just too ashamed to tell her I was develping. I was also told my genitals were "dirty" and I was never to touch them.I think my parents knew I was having sex and in there eyes I was a huge slut, which cause low self esteem which lead to promiscuous behavior ahhhh see the cycle? I now I have a 12 year old daughter and we are very open with each other. I would be very upset if she also became a teen Mom but I would be loving and supportive, however I am determined to not have it happen to here in the first place. We talk about her goals for the future, I try to have her in activities to boost her self esteem etc 

BethanyJ
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:09 PM

I was a teen mom raised in a conservative Christian family.  

No, I did not feel comfortable discussing issues such as birth control and safe sex with my mom.  She made me feel horrible and dirty for being curious about boys and sex.  Everytime we talked about it she begged me not to have sex, telling me boys will always want to take advantage of me and that I shouldn't let them "do it to me" and that I would be a slut and it would hurt and I'd be ruined.  She said masturbating was bad and we barely discussed birth control.  I knew how to use condoms but it was never impressed upon me that birth control was a must.  With nowhere to turn and feeling very alone, I started having sex to please myself.  Nothing my mom told me was true about sex.  The first guy I slept with fell in love with me.  I was so full of hate I broke his heart and didn't care.  I also enjoyed sex right away, and no one called me a slut; all my friends were having sex as well.  Most used birth control and most hid it from their parents.  

My mom eventually found out I was having sex and didn't have much to say.  She pretty much threw up her hands. 

If my mom had been more realistic and open with me, and accepting of who I was, I probably would have made different choices.  Truth be told I probably still would have had sex early, but I would have most likely been safer about it and pickier as far as the guys I slept with.  I probably wouldn't have gotten pregnant so young either.  I got pregnant because I was very alone and hated my life.  I felt like no one accept me for who I was and no one cared at all.  I was like an alien in my family and stuck out like a sore thumb.  My parents were always demeaning me and treating me like a baby, so I had a baby to prove to them I wasn't a child and could do it on my own.  I'm proud to say, I did a damn good job with my oldest.  She's a great kid who makes great choices.  I'm very open and honest with her about boys and sex, and she knows she can always come to me with questions and I'll answer her honestly.  

I was a teen mom.  My mom was not a teen mom; she had me at 25 while married to my father.  

If my daughter became a teen mom...well, I'd be pretty disappointed that she took that route and didn't allow herself the opportunity to enjoy her youth and young adulthood, and I'd be more disappointed that she wasn't financially or emotionally ready for the child.  I'd encourage her to look at all her options and do some serious soul searching before making a decision.  If she choose to keep the child I would support her and let her live at home, but only if she had a job, continued with school, paid rent, and paid for as many as the baby's supplies as she could.  There are no free rides in my house.  You play, you pay -- but I'm reasonable about it.  I won't cut her off but I would make sure she deals with the consequences of her actions.  

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