Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My son does NOT want to see his father

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

Mind you, he just moved out on Monday.  But since he lost his job as an actual professional last January he has turned into a monster. He took a job as a bartender (he's 51, too old for this crap) and didn't treat it like a job, he's treated it like a lifestyle.  He's become a bar whore.  And he has a whore, too, who he won't end it with.  He LOVES her, you know (although she's married with 4 kids and every bit the whore he is). Ive known for a little while but finally had concrete proof on Monday so POOF he's gone.

Anyway he occasionally asks to speak to his son and today he asked if he could stop by and see him (by the way I said he could and he never showed, which doesn't surprise me at all.).

I was talking to my son, trying to get him to open up about any feelings he might be having.  He just keeps saying "no, I don't want to talk to him or see him.  He never keeps his promises and he's never home and when he is all he does is yell."

Well, this is true and I don't blame him.  He's never really been a part of his son's life. 

But his father is eventually going to blame ME for keeping his son from him.  I'm not.  But I'm afraid it's going to get ugly.

My stbx knows that I will get sole physical and legal custody of my child and has no problem with that- again, he's never had anything to do with raising this kid.  And visitation will be at my discresion, nothing scheduled. But if my son keeps refusing to see or speak with him I'm afraid that he's going to claim alienation of affection or something.  I swear i'm not.  I ask every evening if he wants to call his dad or for his dad to stop by and he is adamant that he doesn't want to.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:47 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:51 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:53 PM

BUMP!

The.Hug.Life
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:53 PM

Sounds like you've got a handle on it. Let the kid tell him exactly what he thinks of him if STBX starts causing trouble.

Jcothrine
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:55 PM
1 mom liked this

i think it is wrong to force a kid to see a parent if they don't want to.. kids don't just up and decide to NOT see a good parent..they always have a reason..

i think a court psychiatrist could show that your son actually doesn't want to see his father verus you posioning your son against him..... i don't think your soon to be ex will have a  legal leg to stand on...

i am sorry that your family is going through this... so hard on kids when parents act like children....

JC

mommysangelface
by Emerald Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:56 PM
1 mom liked this
How old is your son?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:56 PM
How old is your son?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:57 PM

 Thank you.  I'm afraid he's going to accuse me of putting words in his head.  He's done that before.  But DS is a very smart almost 10 yo and has come to these conclusions all by himself.  Honestly it's not that hard.


Quoting The.Hug.Life:

Sounds like you've got a handle on it. Let the kid tell him exactly what he thinks of him if STBX starts causing trouble.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:58 PM
No advice...my dd3 refuses to talk on the phone or computer with her dad. She used to want to, I don't know what's changed for her. I ask her every day if she wants to but she says no. He has only called once since Christmas and it was a huge production to get her to talk.

I worry about him saying that I am alienating her but....we have a CO and he can call EVERY day if he wants between certain hours and I have to put her on the phone. He chooses not to anymore.

Anyway....until you have a CO or he calls more often I wouldn't worry about it.
maiahlynn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:58 PM

how old is your son? cause no visitation will not be allowed through most courtrs unless he is in jail, or an abuser.. even then he would get supervised visits.. also visitation has to be scehduled not at someones decresion according to most courts because children need consistancy. of course you two can agree on anything but its better if htere is a scehdule even then.. you can insist he keep your child away form the woman & drinking..

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:59 PM

 


Quoting maiahlynn:

how old is your son? cause no visitation will not be allowed through most courtrs unless he is in jail, or an abuser.. even then he would get supervised visits.. also visitation has to be scehduled not at someones decresion according to most courts because children need consistancy. of course you two can agree on anything but its better if htere is a scehdule even then.. you can insist he keep your child away form the woman & drinking..


 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)