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DH took part of my income tax refund to pay his child support

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I got my income tax refund yesterday. I have 3 kids and my refund was just over $7000. Anyway, me and DH keep our finances separate, that was the agreement we made when we got married, once the youngest child turns 18 (we don't have any together) we will put our money together. Until then, we split the bills fairly, I pay more because my kids live with us full time while his are here every other weekend.

DH is having a hard time lately, he was working overtime, 60 hours a week. Then. 8 months ago his boss told him he could no longer work overtime. He looked for a second job but hasn't been able to find one that would allow him to keep working his first. His CS was based on him working overtime so he tried to have it lowered in court. The judge told him that he would lower it to account for what he was actually making for 6 months but after that, it would go back. The judge said that after a year, if he can prove he attempted to get more hours or  a better paying job, he would lower it but that means there will be 6 months where he is paying more then half of what he makes in CS/ So now he is back to working based on making overtime but he is lucky to be getting 30 hours a week. He is still looking for a second job or a new full time job but he hasn't been able to find anything.

Over the past 2 months, he has gotten behind in child support despite the fact that I have taken over a good portion of the of the bills. He has talked to child support enforcement and told them his situation. They are not going to take his license nor will he face jail time over it since he is paying what he can. The order is $1300 a month, he is only making $2500 (the order was based on him making over $5000 a month. But still he feels bad that in January, he could only pay $600 and February, he could only pay $700 leaving him behind $1300. He also knows that he won't be able to make the full payment next month.

I told him that since he won't get in trouble legally, he will be fine and morally, he shouldn't have to pay that much because he is no longer making that amount but I know he still feels bad, his ex is being a bitch about it, for years, she has gotten a shit ton of money for 2 kids because he made a good amount, now that he is not making much, she still expects him to pay the same, she won't work with him at all.

This morning, I looked online at my account, and guess what,  $1000 is missing (you can only take out $1000 a day from the ATM). I was about to call the bank but then I checked my night stand and saw that my extra debit card was missing. I asked DH and he admitted that he took the money.

I was furious with him and to make matters worse, he tried to turn it on me, saying that I was being selfish not to help his kids. He was the one who insisted we keep our money separate when we got married, of course that was when he was making twice what I make. I am seriously considering filing for divorce, it's not even about the money so much anymore but the fact that he STOLE from me.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:27 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:33 PM

Yeah, that is not right.

by Gold Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:33 PM
3 moms liked this

I'd be pissed too. By paying most of the bills, you ARE helping his kids. YOU shouldn't have to support them while they are at their mothers. By stealing from you, he stole from your kids too. That's bull.

by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:33 PM
5 moms liked this

If you got so much back, why didn't you OFFER to give your husband some help? o.0 

by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:34 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd be fucking pissed.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:34 PM

Probably not because 1. $600-$700 a month is plenty since he won't get in legal trouble anyway 2. I am already supporting more of the household then before and 3. I planned to use the money to do things for my kids and the whole family (I planned on contributing to their college funds, we need a new computer and I need a new car so the rest was going to go for a down payment).

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 Wow. I would be pissed too. Would you have given him the $1000 if he asked you?

by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:34 PM
5 moms liked this

If he had asked you, would you have helped him? Either way if he insisted on keeping the money separate because it was good for him then, he doesn't get to help himself to your money now because it's not longer good for him. The fact that he tried to turn it around on you is even lower of him. Has he even apologized for stealing from you? Because that's exactly what he did, he does realize that doesn't he?

by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 Not cool..

If the agreement from the get go were that the finances were seperate, than it should have stayed that way. 

by Buzz Lightyear on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:35 PM

I would be pissed. He is the one that made the rule. what a dick.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:35 PM
2 moms liked this

That would be true if we didn't agree to keep our finances separately, at his insistence actually

Quoting Anonymous:

As far as I'm concerned, when you marry someone and you KNOW they have children, you take on those responsibilities for those children. If you don't like it, don't marry the dude.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:36 PM

Wanting to keep MY money is greedy?

Quoting littlesippycup:

dang don't be greedy, you have plenty to go around. 

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