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DH took part of my income tax refund to pay his child support

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I got my income tax refund yesterday. I have 3 kids and my refund was just over $7000. Anyway, me and DH keep our finances separate, that was the agreement we made when we got married, once the youngest child turns 18 (we don't have any together) we will put our money together. Until then, we split the bills fairly, I pay more because my kids live with us full time while his are here every other weekend.

DH is having a hard time lately, he was working overtime, 60 hours a week. Then. 8 months ago his boss told him he could no longer work overtime. He looked for a second job but hasn't been able to find one that would allow him to keep working his first. His CS was based on him working overtime so he tried to have it lowered in court. The judge told him that he would lower it to account for what he was actually making for 6 months but after that, it would go back. The judge said that after a year, if he can prove he attempted to get more hours or  a better paying job, he would lower it but that means there will be 6 months where he is paying more then half of what he makes in CS/ So now he is back to working based on making overtime but he is lucky to be getting 30 hours a week. He is still looking for a second job or a new full time job but he hasn't been able to find anything.

Over the past 2 months, he has gotten behind in child support despite the fact that I have taken over a good portion of the of the bills. He has talked to child support enforcement and told them his situation. They are not going to take his license nor will he face jail time over it since he is paying what he can. The order is $1300 a month, he is only making $2500 (the order was based on him making over $5000 a month. But still he feels bad that in January, he could only pay $600 and February, he could only pay $700 leaving him behind $1300. He also knows that he won't be able to make the full payment next month.

I told him that since he won't get in trouble legally, he will be fine and morally, he shouldn't have to pay that much because he is no longer making that amount but I know he still feels bad, his ex is being a bitch about it, for years, she has gotten a shit ton of money for 2 kids because he made a good amount, now that he is not making much, she still expects him to pay the same, she won't work with him at all.

This morning, I looked online at my account, and guess what,  $1000 is missing (you can only take out $1000 a day from the ATM). I was about to call the bank but then I checked my night stand and saw that my extra debit card was missing. I asked DH and he admitted that he took the money.

I was furious with him and to make matters worse, he tried to turn it on me, saying that I was being selfish not to help his kids. He was the one who insisted we keep our money separate when we got married, of course that was when he was making twice what I make. I am seriously considering filing for divorce, it's not even about the money so much anymore but the fact that he STOLE from me.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:27 PM
Replies (21-30):
bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:36 PM

oh, and may I ask if he is going to give you your money back?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:37 PM

Because I already have plans for the money, just like he had a lot of money extra when he was workign 70 hours a week, I never expected it



Quoting iHEAVENn:

If you got so much back, why didn't you OFFER to give your husband some help? o.0 



TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, it isn't going to be pleasant at your house tonight.

Yeah, he had NO business stealing your money.  Without trust, you have nothing.

Buggy979
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Did you file separate or joint?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rosemagic01
by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:37 PM

Thats kinda bullshit. He shouldn't have to work more than 40 hours of a standard good paying job. He's already paying out $1300 thats plenty! He shouldn't be forced into a second job or a better paying one in this economy! Its actually cruel what they're doing.

He shouldn't have taken money from you though. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Personally, I wouldn't be married to someone who insisted on having separate accounts because that tells me that he doesn't trust me. That's just me though. And my fiance knows this. This is why him and I have already combined our accounts.

Quoting Anonymous:

That would be true if we didn't agree to keep our finances separately, at his insistence actually



Quoting Anonymous:

As far as I'm concerned, when you marry someone and you KNOW they have children, you take on those responsibilities for those children. If you don't like it, don't marry the dude.




iHEAVENn
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:37 PM

:\ That blows. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Because I already have plans for the money, just like he had a lot of money extra when he was workign 70 hours a week, I never expected it



Quoting iHEAVENn:

If you got so much back, why didn't you OFFER to give your husband some help? o.0 





-:Logan Jacob:-

-:December 1st 2007:-

-:7 Pounds 4 Ounces:- 

-:My Everything:- 

RMC007
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:38 PM

Yeah, I would be pretty pissed as he stole from you. I would probably help my DH out financially if he was behind on bills and I had just received a check for 7K, and he ASKED, but that is just me. No matter what, he had NO right stealing from you. The crappy part is, if you have ever allowed him to use your debit card for any reason or told him your PIN, the bank will not refund your money.

Are you going to press charges?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:38 PM
I don't understand CS modification sometimes...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:38 PM

Separate



Quoting Buggy979:

Did you file separate or joint?



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