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DH took part of my income tax refund to pay his child support

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I got my income tax refund yesterday. I have 3 kids and my refund was just over $7000. Anyway, me and DH keep our finances separate, that was the agreement we made when we got married, once the youngest child turns 18 (we don't have any together) we will put our money together. Until then, we split the bills fairly, I pay more because my kids live with us full time while his are here every other weekend.

DH is having a hard time lately, he was working overtime, 60 hours a week. Then. 8 months ago his boss told him he could no longer work overtime. He looked for a second job but hasn't been able to find one that would allow him to keep working his first. His CS was based on him working overtime so he tried to have it lowered in court. The judge told him that he would lower it to account for what he was actually making for 6 months but after that, it would go back. The judge said that after a year, if he can prove he attempted to get more hours or  a better paying job, he would lower it but that means there will be 6 months where he is paying more then half of what he makes in CS/ So now he is back to working based on making overtime but he is lucky to be getting 30 hours a week. He is still looking for a second job or a new full time job but he hasn't been able to find anything.

Over the past 2 months, he has gotten behind in child support despite the fact that I have taken over a good portion of the of the bills. He has talked to child support enforcement and told them his situation. They are not going to take his license nor will he face jail time over it since he is paying what he can. The order is $1300 a month, he is only making $2500 (the order was based on him making over $5000 a month. But still he feels bad that in January, he could only pay $600 and February, he could only pay $700 leaving him behind $1300. He also knows that he won't be able to make the full payment next month.

I told him that since he won't get in trouble legally, he will be fine and morally, he shouldn't have to pay that much because he is no longer making that amount but I know he still feels bad, his ex is being a bitch about it, for years, she has gotten a shit ton of money for 2 kids because he made a good amount, now that he is not making much, she still expects him to pay the same, she won't work with him at all.

This morning, I looked online at my account, and guess what,  $1000 is missing (you can only take out $1000 a day from the ATM). I was about to call the bank but then I checked my night stand and saw that my extra debit card was missing. I asked DH and he admitted that he took the money.

I was furious with him and to make matters worse, he tried to turn it on me, saying that I was being selfish not to help his kids. He was the one who insisted we keep our money separate when we got married, of course that was when he was making twice what I make. I am seriously considering filing for divorce, it's not even about the money so much anymore but the fact that he STOLE from me.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:27 PM
Replies (31-40):
Mamasgirl524
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:38 PM
I would reconsider the relationship also. It's ridiculous that half his income is going to child support and I can't see why he's not eligible for an amendment.
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littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:39 PM
2 moms liked this

Yeah. JMO.

Quoting Anonymous:


Wanting to keep MY money is greedy?



Quoting littlesippycup:

dang don't be greedy, you have plenty to go around. 




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Fuck that, I would be pissed!
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:40 PM

Unfortunately, I have. Also, since he is my legal husband, they are not going to refund the money, plus if they did, they would press charges against him.


Quoting RMC007:

Yeah, I would be pretty pissed as he stole from you. I would probably help my DH out financially if he was behind on bills and I had just received a check for 7K, and he ASKED, but that is just me. No matter what, he had NO right stealing from you. The crappy part is, if you have ever allowed him to use your debit card for any reason or told him your PIN, the bank will not refund your money.

Are you going to press charges?



TeamTARDIS
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:41 PM

Would I be angry? Yes, I hate being lied to or taken advantage of. Would I file for divorce? Absolutely not. This is definitely something that can be worked through if you want to take the time and effort.

paigesmommy5264
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Does he get a refund? He should pay u back with it..
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:42 PM

Basically, the do it like this so that a man can quite his job, file a modification and then get a new job to lower his CS. The make sure the change in income isn't going to be temporary. It does suck though



Quoting Mamasgirl524:

I would reconsider the relationship also. It's ridiculous that half his income is going to child support and I can't see why he's not eligible for an amendment.



mom2ljh
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:42 PM
He's in the wrong and you need to change your PIN numbers. This is no bueno.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:43 PM

He only gets to claim his kids every other year, this is not his year so he won't be getting much back, maybe a couple hundred at most.



Quoting paigesmommy5264:

Does he get a refund? He should pay u back with it..



3JuJu3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:43 PM

If he's in so much trouble, then why doesn't he get joint custody for his kids?  His ex is taking care of the kids full time (I assume since he's paying child support) but if he got joint custody then he wouldn't have to pay for anything? If he can't do this because of work, then maybe his ex isn't as selfish as you make her out to be since she's taking care of the kdis full time.  As for the stealing, I would kick his ass to the curb, but that's your husband and you might want to be with him for better or for worst.  

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