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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Im about ready to give up BF...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Its been so stressful. Baby is eating every hour a lot of times because he keeps falling asleep. I only have one good boob...the other one is way smaller and harder to nurse on ( which is making baby upset) We run a daycare out of the home and DH is ending up doing everything because I'm stuck BF all day. And our baby is becoming colicy.Sometimes I think he goes to the breast for comfort...like when he wants to.eat twice in one hour.

It makes me really sad to even think about quitting. I really don't want to. Especially since he loves it so much. Im trying to pump but I get less than an ounce and only when he is nursing on the other side.

And I'm also not feeling support from DH. I.understand his frustration. He feels helpless. He sees me struggling. Last night I was struggling to nurse with a migraine. To make it worse I started crying. That's when DH broke down and said " maybe its time to quit BF"

Every day I hear negative comments about nurse. So I have my own struggles with BF, the daycare issues and DH who would just rather me quit. Im about ready to give up
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:29 AM
Well he is having an ENORMOUS amount of wet and poopy diapers.


Quoting Kitschy:

Hang in there. It may just take time or the baby may be having issues with something you are eating. Also if the baby isn't getting enough it will cause more frequent feedings and painful gas.

itsm3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:29 AM

listen:  you do what you feel is best for you and baby.  BFing is stressful and isn't for everyone.  some people really stick to it and try and try but the mental stress and anguish that can sometimes come from repeated failed attempts at BFing isn't worth all the stress it puts you under. in those cases, it is better for your mental health to give up and use formula.

i'm not an advocate of one or the other.... i'm an advocate of making sure that mom and family are happy and healthy and sometimes, BFing just doens't work.  does that make you a failure?  NO.  this one incident that didnt work out DOES NOT DEFINE THE TYPE OF MOTHER YOU ARE OR ARE GOING TO BE.   this is what kills me about moms on here; they bash other moms for giving up BFing as if this is going to define the relationship for the next 30yrs with the child.    in the grand scheme of things, this is one spot of the many trials and tribulations you will face as a parent and in all honestly, your kid won't grow up to say 'YOU DIDN'T BREASFTEED ME!  I RESENT YOU FOR IT!!!!!!". 

if baby is happy, healthy and fed and mama is happy and healthy, then that's all that matters.  period.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:29 AM
He poops almost every time he eats.. lol


Quoting stickyfingers:

Oh also I want to add a lot of bf babies only poop once a week. Don't get freaked out by that.

mewebb82
by Gold Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:29 AM
I quit with my daughter 6 years ago because i had the same frustrations you do. I really regret it. If only I knew then what I know now. I run a home daycare too and am currently nursing my 2 month old. I completely feel your pain, but I also know it will get easier. Between 6-8 weeks it got soooooo much easier and my son developed a much better routine. It's your choice, but I'm urging you to stick it out.
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m0mmyheather
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:32 AM
My daughter got jaundice and was doing the same thing. She would want to eat constantly because she kept falling asleep, and when she would feed, she would just stop and start screaming. We gave her the light treatment and did everything the doctor suggested but her jaundice level raised a point again after a few days. I wasn't getting anything done and was always in a room alone breastfeeding unsuccessfully. I took their advice to supplement formula sometimes, but that kind of caused my supply to dry up, so now my daughter is FF exclusively.
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stickyfingers
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:32 AM
1 mom liked this
I had two big babies also And they do eat more! Mine would do that same thing. When he would fall asleep I would put him down. Lol ok so the boob with less... Do you take turns nursing on each side first? Or do you always just go to the favorite? I ask because I did that and had one bigger than the other I am right handed so should nurse on the left more. I have heard some women use nursing bracelets. You put the bracelet on the side you need to nurse on next.

Quoting Anonymous:

He is almost 4 weeks. I strip him down to his onsie, pick him up, change his diaper ...he just goes into a coma! At the hospital they kept testing his blood sugar because he was so large and jittery.

I started pumping this week. How long does it take to get a good amount? My boob hasn't. Changed at all.




Quoting stickyfingers:

That is totally normal for a newborn. Keep trying to pump and nurse on the side with less, it will start to make more. Nurse on that side first. As far as the amount you get when you pump that is normal too. Baby gets more than when you pump because your body responds to the baby better than the pump. When baby falls asleep try taking off his socks or undressing her. It is hard at first but once the two of you get the hang of it it will be easier.





Dh is frustrated and does have to do more but it's not for you it is for your baby. Don't quit yet give it a couple months. it is so special when the baby sees you and gets all excited and happy when they are going to nurse. How old is your baby?

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coala
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:34 AM

My DD didn't actually start to spit up until she started consuming solids.  She was BF (via pumped milk) until she was 7 mos old.  She would scream and go stiff, arch her back and was just overall miserable.  She was on Mylanta at 5 days (you can do 1cc of this before and after each feeding b/c you can't overdose on this), on Zantac by 2 weeks with Prevacid added by 2 mos.  She is 4 and still on reflux meds.  We take it one day at a time.  Reflux babies want to eat constantly b/c it helps to soothe that terrible feeling in their tummies and that is the only thing they know to do when it hurts.  You can try the Mylanta and see it if helps.  If it helps then you may have found the answer and may want to talk to the doc about it.  Good luck!!


Quoting Anonymous:

He isn't spitting up at all....don't they usually when they have it?


Quoting coala:

Another thing to consider is the possiblity of reflux.  Before you give up please talk the ped before you throw in the towel.




stickyfingers
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Give it a few more weeks he is still tiny. That is norm for how little he is. And if he is pooping when he eats you know you are doing a good job with supply.

Quoting Anonymous:

He poops almost every time he eats.. lol




Quoting stickyfingers:

Oh also I want to add a lot of bf babies only poop once a week. Don't get freaked out by that.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Thank you. This isn't my first attempt though. I feel like I failed with my first two. Now my third. With my first I gave up right away.. she wasn't latching. And my second had stomach surgery at almost two months and that wrecked it.


Quoting itsm3:

listen:  you do what you feel is best for you and baby.  BFing is stressful and isn't for everyone.  some people really stick to it and try and try but the mental stress and anguish that can sometimes come from repeated failed attempts at BFing isn't worth all the stress it puts you under. in those cases, it is better for your mental health to give up and use formula.

i'm not an advocate of one or the other.... i'm an advocate of making sure that mom and family are happy and healthy and sometimes, BFing just doens't work.  does that make you a failure?  NO.  this one incident that didnt work out DOES NOT DEFINE THE TYPE OF MOTHER YOU ARE OR ARE GOING TO BE.   this is what kills me about moms on here; they bash other moms for giving up BFing as if this is going to define the relationship for the next 30yrs with the child.    in the grand scheme of things, this is one spot of the many trials and tribulations you will face as a parent and in all honestly, your kid won't grow up to say 'YOU DIDN'T BREASFTEED ME!  I RESENT YOU FOR IT!!!!!!". 

if baby is happy, healthy and fed and mama is happy and healthy, then that's all that matters.  period.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:36 AM

I don't mean to make light of your situation but the first thing I thought was "oh the joys of parenthood, if only you could bottle that feeling of frustration and give to teenagers- we'd never have another teenage pregnancy!"  I don't want to add to the stress by giving you the old cliche "it will get better", but it will! 

We had similar situation with our dd, I ended up stopping bf earlier than anticipated, we were so tired and stressed, all we did was argue or cry and often both at the same time. My dh finally said "how much good are we doing? Is bf with all the stress better than formula and sleep"  We opted for formula and sleep and for us at the time it was the best solution.  That dd is 23 now and is no more or less sick than her siblings who were bf longer. And as for bonding, she and her dad actually have the closest relationship of all our children.  I know bf advocates will chastise me but for this child in this family bf wasn't best.  Good luck.

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