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Im about ready to give up BF...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Its been so stressful. Baby is eating every hour a lot of times because he keeps falling asleep. I only have one good boob...the other one is way smaller and harder to nurse on ( which is making baby upset) We run a daycare out of the home and DH is ending up doing everything because I'm stuck BF all day. And our baby is becoming colicy.Sometimes I think he goes to the breast for when he wants twice in one hour.

It makes me really sad to even think about quitting. I really don't want to. Especially since he loves it so much. Im trying to pump but I get less than an ounce and only when he is nursing on the other side.

And I'm also not feeling support from DH. I.understand his frustration. He feels helpless. He sees me struggling. Last night I was struggling to nurse with a migraine. To make it worse I started crying. That's when DH broke down and said " maybe its time to quit BF"

Every day I hear negative comments about nurse. So I have my own struggles with BF, the daycare issues and DH who would just rather me quit. Im about ready to give up
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:37 AM

You can do it mama!! My son is super difficult to nurse as well. He chokes at the breast, has an upper lip tie, constantly pulls off and screams, you name it he does it. I've felt like giving up so many times, but the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I'll know I will miss it more than anything. There is this amazing bond that occurs while nursing, because it is the one thing only you can do for your baby! I'm so sorry you're going through this, stay strong, it will get better!! My little one wouldn't latch on my left side for a super long time and now my right produces way more. I nurse twice on my left for a feeding and then once on righty. If he still acts hungry after offering lefty, put him on the right after he pulls off.

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:39 AM

regardless if this is your 1st attempt or 5th attempt, as long as baby is happy, healthy and fed, that's all that matters.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. This isn't my first attempt though. I feel like I failed with my first two. Now my third. With my first I gave up right away.. she wasn't latching. And my second had stomach surgery at almost two months and that wrecked it.

Quoting itsm3:

listen:  you do what you feel is best for you and baby.  BFing is stressful and isn't for everyone.  some people really stick to it and try and try but the mental stress and anguish that can sometimes come from repeated failed attempts at BFing isn't worth all the stress it puts you under. in those cases, it is better for your mental health to give up and use formula.

i'm not an advocate of one or the other.... i'm an advocate of making sure that mom and family are happy and healthy and sometimes, BFing just doens't work.  does that make you a failure?  NO.  this one incident that didnt work out DOES NOT DEFINE THE TYPE OF MOTHER YOU ARE OR ARE GOING TO BE.   this is what kills me about moms on here; they bash other moms for giving up BFing as if this is going to define the relationship for the next 30yrs with the child.    in the grand scheme of things, this is one spot of the many trials and tribulations you will face as a parent and in all honestly, your kid won't grow up to say 'YOU DIDN'T BREASFTEED ME!  I RESENT YOU FOR IT!!!!!!". 

if baby is happy, healthy and fed and mama is happy and healthy, then that's all that matters.  period.

by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:44 AM

The first 6 weeks were the hardest for me, if you give up now you'll regret it the rest of you life. Also how much you pump is not a good gage of how much you are actually making, I can't pump, if I try I get a few drops. My milk won't let down for a pump. But my baby when he nurses he's getting food, he is 8.5 months old and still hasn't started solids and is 24lbs 5oz, that's all from breast milk. Some babies need to nurse more too, my oldest breastfeed every hour or 2 and it was very frustrating, I breastfeed him a whole year, but I didn't really enjoy the experience much because I felt like he was constantly breastfeeding, but I know I did what was best for my baby and have no regret. You can do it mama!

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:44 AM


I will say with my first BF was very hard until 2 1/2-3 mo. Then it was way easier than bottles. I never had to prepare, store or wash bottles. BFing was a real time saver in the end.

You have to do what works best for your family. I BF my 3 kids, my sister FF her 3 kids. We both have happy, healthy, intelligent kids:)

Quoting Anonymous:

Almost 4 weeks

Quoting peanutsmommy1:

how old is the baby?


by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:45 AM
First thing I have to say is I always found the first six weeks the hardest, I had to remind myself constantly with my second that once past those first six weeks it gets easier.
The second thing, do you own or can you get some sort of wrap? There are video tutorials on you tube that show you how to wear and nurse a baby at the same time. I found being able to walk around and have a hand free extremely beneficial. Good luck!
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by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:46 AM

Do what works best for you and your baby and ignore all the pressure form everyone else. I stopped at 3 months for each of my babies because I couldn't keep it up=== my children are all fine happy well adjusted adults. do what you need to do.

by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:48 AM

FYI....I had a baby that preferred one boob over the other, making them incredibly lopsided during BFing.  The "girls" never recovered.  My boobs are like a mother and daughter combination, making finding and wearing a decent bra extremely difficult and challenging.

ETA: this was 20 years ago too !

by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:49 AM
I'm so sorry mama. My advice is if your feeling this bad thinking about quiting think about how bad you'll feel when you actually do quit.
Edit to add you do what you feel you need to. You are the babies mother you need to be happy wroth your choice for baby to be happy. Breast feeding is hard especially the first 6 weeks it got better for me around 3 months. I started supplementing with formula at 6 weeks when I went back to work. This us what I decided to do and it works for our family. Don't let anyone pressure you to do what you don't want to.
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by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:51 AM
Keep at it! At 4 weeks he is going to nurse for comfort but thats normal. Maybe get a sling for handsfree sessions?

Quoting Anonymous:

Almost 4 weeks

Quoting peanutsmommy1:

how old is the baby?

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by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 22, 2013 at 9:51 AM

He might be going through a growth spurt. Another thing to consider is your diet. My daughter was acting colicky and crying alot the first few weeks and I realized the only thing that I had the same of everyday was my morning cup of coffee. As soon as I stopped drinking it she was fine... I had to give up all caffeine for a year because she was really sensitive to it. Also if you are stressed it can affect your let down and the amount you get while pumping, try to relax and take some time for yourself.

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