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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

The "Dirty Family"

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

There's a lady that comes in where I work regulary enough that we all know her name and that she has 7 kids. A lady that I work with says she and her family also occasionally attend their church on special occasions and they are known as "the dirty family". Now, I don't know much about this church, but I hope that they don't exclude them or treat them poorly because of their reputation for being dirty. BUT, let me share what I've observed about this family and then follow it with a thought and open the floor for opinions.

1. The mother, who we see most frequently, is indeed sad looking. Her hair is extremely greasy. Her clothes are ragged and usually don't match. Her teeth are in poor shape and she has a slight odor. When she visits 2 days in a row, it's not uncommon for her to be wearing the same clothes.

2. Her children are in similar condition. Their clothes don't typically fit. They never match. Their hair is greasy and they do indeed appear dirty. Unfortunately, they aren't always dressed warmly enough for the cold weather.

You get the idea. I feel terrible for these children. While this lady appears to be very loving and attentive, I am concerned about their hygiene and overall health and basic needs. I am not opposed to large families. I know people who have several children and are delightful families. But they are clean and, while I'm sure sacrifices are being made, no one is doing without. I just can't help but think, If you are to the point that you aren't bathing and you and your children don't have decent (not designer or extravagant) clothing, you probably have over-extended yourselves and have had more children than you should have and should stop? I understand some people have always wanted large families and that's great and I am all about making your desires happen. But, at some point, don't you have to put what you want on the back burner until it's doable? I know I want another baby, but I am putting that on the back burner because it's not a good time. I hate it. But I know it's best. Thoughts?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:29 PM
Replies (11-20):
nbgg8687
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:52 PM
Well surprisingly people dent understand how to be clean. it may be a simple.no brain.concept for some, its.like geometry for.another. I'm not saying.its right... being a loving attentive parent is very important. I think someone needs to reach out to them. maybe from an outside point.of.view they can.point her in the right.direction... it could be she isn't having her kids chip in and help... dis organization.... a mixture.
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Paranoai
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:55 PM

True, but it seems like they are judging her, without asking or knowing her situation. So those church people in that particular are shitty

Quoting christina0607:

Everyone judges, it's ludacris to think just because these people are inside a church that would change. 

People who go to church are just like people who don't. 

Quoting Paranoai:

EXACTLY. That is why i dont like "church" people. Instead of judging her, maybe some of you should talk about how you can help her. Maybe donating some clothes, donating time to help with laundry, babysitting so she can get a break.

I love it how church people talk about being a family, a community but never do they actually act like it.

Quoting EvilAsh:

What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.




PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:56 PM

I think the church should be extending a hand to help this woman and her family.  It's apparent that she obviously lacks the funds to clothe her family appropriately for the weather and cannot afford the basics like soap, shampoo and deoderant.  How sad that the church just talks about her rather than tying to help her.

DiANAiVELiSSE
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:57 PM

 *SMH*

Mom2wife1
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:59 PM
Maybe the church should have some sort of anonymous donation drive for her. I don't attend church now but I did when I was little and I remember that going on for members who needed help. I have 2 girls and when they grow out of clothes I put an ad on Craigslist and give them away to ppl who need them along with baby food my kids don't use. I've given away thousands of dollars of items and sometimes haven't even gotten a thank you, but at least I know I'm helping children who need it.
christina0607
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Just like everyone else in the world. The world is full of judgemental people...to act as though because some one attends church they should hold this quality is asinine. 

Quoting Paranoai:

True, but it seems like they are judging her, without asking or knowing her situation. So those church people in that particular are shitty

Quoting christina0607:

Everyone judges, it's ludacris to think just because these people are inside a church that would change. 

People who go to church are just like people who don't. 

Quoting Paranoai:

EXACTLY. That is why i dont like "church" people. Instead of judging her, maybe some of you should talk about how you can help her. Maybe donating some clothes, donating time to help with laundry, babysitting so she can get a break.

I love it how church people talk about being a family, a community but never do they actually act like it.

Quoting EvilAsh:

What kind of church is acting that way towards some of its own? That's not right. They should be aiming to help these people, not putting them down.

I think people do live outside of their means, whether it's 2 kids or 7. I know my family probably shouldn't have another child adding into it soon, at least not yet, but we're doing it anyway (kind of late now anyway LOL). I was thinking I wanted to wait until I finish my degree and start working again, but I'll be 30 and I don't want to be having babies in my 30's. 

I'd make any sacrifice I could for my kids though. So they could at least be clean and healthy and have clothes that fit properly.





Make someone happy today, mind your own business.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:00 PM

 That was kinda my thought. You don't need to fancy bath gels and potions. Just warm water and soap...and some shampoo. Seriously


Quoting Maevelyn:

poor, ragged clothes it one thing, dirty is another. You don't need hot water, a washing machine or really a lot to say clean if you really want to. 


 

jadsmummy
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting davnrori:

 My great-grandparents had 12 children and were extremely, extremely poor but they were always clean. My great grandma always said that you can't help being poor but there's no excuse for dirty because everyone can afford soap.


My grandmother who grew up during the depression said the same thing. 

LNLMommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:08 PM

That church should be ashamed...

I know of a family-Mom, Dad, and 6 kids and that's just how they live. They never look clean although whenever I have been to their house, mom seems to always be washing. But I knew both mom and dad in high school and they always looked "dirty". The kids are happy and healthy though and that's all that really matters.

Maybe the mom is battling PPD? Maybe they hit hard times and are in the process of navigating through the tough times. Maybe mom didn't believe in birth control or abortion because of religious views? I dunno..just throwing stuff out there

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:15 PM

 I agree that church should be charitable, but why is no one address the personal responsibility of this woman and her husband?


Quoting LNLMommy:

That church should be ashamed...

I know of a family-Mom, Dad, and 6 kids and that's just how they live. They never look clean although whenever I have been to their house, mom seems to always be washing. But I knew both mom and dad in high school and they always looked "dirty". The kids are happy and healthy though and that's all that really matters.

Maybe the mom is battling PPD? Maybe they hit hard times and are in the process of navigating through the tough times. Maybe mom didn't believe in birth control or abortion because of religious views? I dunno..just throwing stuff out there


 

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