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The "Dirty Family"

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

There's a lady that comes in where I work regulary enough that we all know her name and that she has 7 kids. A lady that I work with says she and her family also occasionally attend their church on special occasions and they are known as "the dirty family". Now, I don't know much about this church, but I hope that they don't exclude them or treat them poorly because of their reputation for being dirty. BUT, let me share what I've observed about this family and then follow it with a thought and open the floor for opinions.

1. The mother, who we see most frequently, is indeed sad looking. Her hair is extremely greasy. Her clothes are ragged and usually don't match. Her teeth are in poor shape and she has a slight odor. When she visits 2 days in a row, it's not uncommon for her to be wearing the same clothes.

2. Her children are in similar condition. Their clothes don't typically fit. They never match. Their hair is greasy and they do indeed appear dirty. Unfortunately, they aren't always dressed warmly enough for the cold weather.

You get the idea. I feel terrible for these children. While this lady appears to be very loving and attentive, I am concerned about their hygiene and overall health and basic needs. I am not opposed to large families. I know people who have several children and are delightful families. But they are clean and, while I'm sure sacrifices are being made, no one is doing without. I just can't help but think, If you are to the point that you aren't bathing and you and your children don't have decent (not designer or extravagant) clothing, you probably have over-extended yourselves and have had more children than you should have and should stop? I understand some people have always wanted large families and that's great and I am all about making your desires happen. But, at some point, don't you have to put what you want on the back burner until it's doable? I know I want another baby, but I am putting that on the back burner because it's not a good time. I hate it. But I know it's best. Thoughts?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:29 PM
Replies (21-23):
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:19 PM

maybe I am missing some of the story here-are they out begging for food and money? Were they once financially able to provide and now for some reason, can no longer provide for such a big family? I agree that personal responsibility is a big part of choosing to have a big family. I have 5 kids and while some days I would love to be a stay at home mom-financially, I have to work. DH works 2 jobs-you do what you have to do to get the job done.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I agree that church should be charitable, but why is no one address the personal responsibility of this woman and her husband?

Quoting LNLMommy:

That church should be ashamed...

I know of a family-Mom, Dad, and 6 kids and that's just how they live. They never look clean although whenever I have been to their house, mom seems to always be washing. But I knew both mom and dad in high school and they always looked "dirty". The kids are happy and healthy though and that's all that really matters.

Maybe the mom is battling PPD? Maybe they hit hard times and are in the process of navigating through the tough times. Maybe mom didn't believe in birth control or abortion because of religious views? I dunno..just throwing stuff out there

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 1:26 PM
Wow! What kind of church would refer to their members as "The dirty family"? That is sad. They should be helping them. I think that church needs prayer!
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:39 PM

Okay, I understand why everyone thinks the church should handle this differently. I really do. And agree they should help out however they can. But what about personal responsibility here? Should these parents not be held responsible for the state of things?

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