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Emotional affair?

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 8:58 AM
  • 8 Replies
My best friend has been married 5 years and she's miserable about half the time. Her husband only wants sex maybe once a month and he's a hypochondriac who works long hours and to be perfectly honest I think he's just as miserable with her.

They were high school sweethearts and she told me before they got married she got married because she didn't know anything else.

So on to my story and question.

They moved away from all of their friends and they are miserable. They are both having a hard time making friends and both want to move back here soon.

To help my friend joined a boxing gym and became friendly with all the staff, especially one guy in particular.

When that guy moved to a different gym (he's a personal trainer) she moved with him.

When he moved again she moved as well.

Once more. He moved and she followed.

She goes to work out with him every morning before work and most mornings she and he will go eat breakfast before hand as well.

They text each other throughout the day, not sure of the extent of it but it has nothing to do with the workout.

She tells him her problems with her husband and he's made several comments about her getting a divorce and how he would never treat her that way.

She and I talk daily and she will go on and on about this guy and something funny he said or did and then towards the end of the convo she will bitch about her husband and spend not even half as much time talking about the man she married.

I've told her on several occasions that she needs to be careful and that the man was wrong to tell her to divorce and that it sounds like an emotional affair. She of course denies it. When I ask her how she would feel if it was her husband that had this sort of relationship with another woman she says she wouldn't like it but then she changes the subject and tells me he's not like that, that she sees this guy as a big brother and nothing more.

She doesn't hide this guy from her husband but I also don't think he knows how friendly they are.

I know there isn't a lot I can do, I've warned her several times and she's in denial and of course I have no plans to tell her husband but would you think it sounds like an emotional affair to you?
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by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 8:58 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:04 AM

At the least it is an emotional affair. She is acting like a school girl and this will bite her in the ass. The trainer is way out of line encouraging her to get a divorce. Her husband does not stand a chance. She is physically active (boxing) with this guy and then going out to eat. This sounds more like dating.

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:06 AM
I just have to stand back and watch. I know she's unhappy and I do honestly think she needs to divorce her husband but I'd never tell her that and I don't think this relationship with the trainer is going to end well.

Quoting Anonymous:

At the least it is an emotional affair. She is acting like a school girl and this will bite her in the ass. The trainer is way out of line encouraging her to get a divorce. Her husband does not stand a chance. She is physically active (boxing) with this guy and then going out to eat. This sounds more like dating.

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Jers.
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:06 AM

Many psychologists believe an emotional affair is worse and more damaging to a relationship than a physical one.

danie24
by Ruby Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:10 AM

 Why doesnt she just leave her husband

lesliemck86
by Gold Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:11 AM

She will probably end up getting a divorce.....whether or not it is an emotional affair, the husband might not even care or is doing the same thing.....especially if he's "just as miserable as her" 

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:23 AM
I don't know him as much as I know my best friend of course but I don't think he's having any sort of affair.

I'm pretty darn positive they will eventually divorce, he wanted kids until they got married and now doesn't and she's always dreamed of being a mom.


Quoting lesliemck86:

She will probably end up getting a divorce.....whether or not it is an emotional affair, the husband might not even care or is doing the same thing.....especially if he's "just as miserable as her" 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:28 AM
I think they are right.


Quoting Jers.:

Many psychologists believe an emotional affair is worse and more damaging to a relationship than a physical one.


3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Feb. 23, 2013 at 9:32 AM
That's most definitely an emotional affair
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