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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My child knows better than to throw fits or have tantrums/meltdowns! I taught him/her how to behave!

I have heard mothers on here say pretty much what I wrote for my title when a discussion is going on about a child having a tantrum or throwing a fit in a public place - or any place....I'm talking children 4 years old and younger.  And, these mothers aren't just talking about public - but, EVER.  As in "My kid never has tantrums....I taught him early on it is unacceptable"

My question to those parents who have children that young who "Know better", to not have a tantrum or meltdown....HOW did you 'teach' your child to not behave in a way that is completely developmentally appropriate for their stage of emotional and physical development?  What, exactly, did you do to 'nip that in the bud"?

Also - did you ever consider that your child's NATURAL temperament is simply more laid back and less intense than some children?  Did you ever consider your child's lack of tantrums/meltdowns has nothing to do with you or anything you did as a parent....and mostly  to do with your child's internal temperament?  Did you ever consider that, dare I say, you got 'lucky' -- or have an 'easy child'?  

On that....I'm curious about parents who have more than one child --- one child was fairly calm and rarely had tantrums or 'fits'....where another child crumbled anytime they were told 'no' or were asked to 'transition'?  What are your thoughts about parents who take the credit or dish out the blame when it comes to things like their child's tantrums (or lack thereof)?

by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Replies (51-60):
ecerka
by Platinum Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:45 AM
My daughter will be 3 in June and if she throws a fit at home I ignore her and she stops. When she was about 18 months old she tried it at the store and I picked her up, left the cart, and took her to the car. She knows we will leave and just doesn't do it anymore. I don't believe parents who say they have children who never throws a tantrum.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM

 

I didn't have to find out what upset him. I know exactly what upset him. He wanted a toy I said no he could not have it. That is when he started screaming at me. I will not put up with a child screaming in my face.

Quoting LaughingTattoo:

 Thats lways easier than taking the few minutes it takes to find out WHY they are upset **rolls eyes**

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I spanked that little ass. I'm not going to have some spoiled ass rotten little brat running things.

 

 


 

VannaMae307
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

I only have one so I probably don't count in this.

He did have tantrums, and with each stage of development, I changed in how I dealt with him.

As a baby, I figured out what he needed, and that helped.

As a toddler, I figured out what he needed, what he was upset about, what was overwhelming him, and I did the best I could to help him understand, comprehend, or work around it. Communication by words was more involved, I explained to him how we act in public/at houses/at the park/etc

At 4 years old, he now knows manners. His tantrums are not about being overwhelmed, not understanding, or simply needing help. They are about gimme gimme gimme, or damnit why did you tell me NO! That's when the decision of removal, punishment (time out, etc) or explaining comes in. I have used many methods and each method really is determined by the previous action.

Anyway. That's my input.

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM

Even if you could take the "Autism" out of your son, that doesn't mean tantrums will stop.  While your son may have more frequent and extreme tantrums because of his disability, it must be pointed out that tantrums are a normal and expected part of any child's development.


Quoting iamadramamomma:


I agree with you 100%. I wish I could take take the "Autism" right out of my son too then maybe the tantrums will stop. So people should just keep their comments to themselves and I'm sure their kids never had tantrums...yeah right....

Quoting Anonymous:

If only I could "teach" the autism right out of him.

Sorry. I just hate those bullshitters. My ass your kids never had tantrums.





HousewifeNina
by Platinum Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:48 AM
By 12 months my children know what "no no" means. That generally stops fits.
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robyann
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:48 AM
1 mom liked this

I have 6 kids, and 9 grandkids, I have also been full time babysitter to a few others. Every kid is different, some throw fits some don't, it's not anything the parent/gparnet/care giver does or doesn't do. You have to relate to each child differently, get to know their own temperment and personality and then your better able to defuse some of those melt downs. 

In general, if a child is having melt downs and fits after the age of 4 or 5, there is something wrong somewhere---and not always some huge thing like abuse, sometimes things that seem like no big deal to us can be big for them. Sometimes a move, or a interrupted schedule, an overheard arguement by the parents....even a late lunch lol. Some kids are just more sensitive. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:49 AM
Quoting one_on_the_way:



Oh, I absolutely agree that some kids have few tantrums. But I don't buy the "never" line. It is part of normal development and I would be more concerned about an absolutely complacent toddler than one doing something developmentally appropriate.
Kitschy
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't know if my children "know better" What I do know, and they do as well, is that if they were behaving inappropriately they would be removed from the situation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:49 AM
When he was little and did it in public when he would start I would tell him we will leave. If he went full melt down I would walk out take him home put him in timeout and go to the store later. That is not how you act in public. For ones at home. Well that isn't allowed in my house and that can be taken to the back yard once all eyes are off him it would stop...
LaughingTattoo
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:50 AM

 My children have "wanted" plenty of toys to which I tell them "I will put it on you -whatever holiday comes next-list". I rarely have a problem and when I do.....theres a reason. Usually hunger and attention are the culprits. Which is very simply solved by the cereal bar in my purse and a special job to help mommy


Quoting Anonymous:

 

I didn't have to find out what upset him. I know exactly what upset him. He wanted a toy I said no he could not have it. That is when he started screaming at me. I will not put up with a child screaming in my face.

Quoting LaughingTattoo:

 Thats lways easier than taking the few minutes it takes to find out WHY they are upset **rolls eyes**

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I spanked that little ass. I'm not going to have some spoiled ass rotten little brat running things.

 

 

 

 


 

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