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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How Long Do You Wait Before Sex?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So I am finally moving on from my kids father. And I met someone, and I really don't want to have sex with another person until I am married because I believed my ex. He always said we would get married and we slept together now he's gone and I am alone with two babies. He isnt even involved. I told this new guy I wanted to wait and he said he respects that but now that I am thining... I am 23 and he is 24, is waiting til marriage even logical these days? If I don't wait that long how long should I wait? How long have you mommies waited with a new relationship? This sounds dumb but I am just new to this whole starting over thing.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:09 PM
Replies (101-110):
louzannalady
by Gold Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:25 PM
That is great! : )

Quoting Anonymous:

He actually does and we talked about it today. He said he respects anything I want. And that he won't even bring it up until he gets the okay from me.. and when I asked why wouldn't he just move onto something else he said I like you duh lol it was cute.




Quoting AleaKat:

If he is the right kind of man and understands her hesitation... Yes.





Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly.. do you think a man would wait until then? Even if there is love and everything..








Quoting Dinimon:

I don't think there's a set timeline.




Do it when you're ready, wether its before or after getting married.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommytothree07
by Gold Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:26 PM

whenever you get in the mood

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:28 PM
Kind of a surprise to me, since my ex said he didn't know if he could wait 6 weeks after have my son, we weren't together then but after my second, I waited not even two weeks because I didn't want him to cheat again.. :( I'm so surprised this man is so understanding and sweet about everything!


Quoting louzannalady:

That is great! : )



Quoting Anonymous:

He actually does and we talked about it today. He said he respects anything I want. And that he won't even bring it up until he gets the okay from me.. and when I asked why wouldn't he just move onto something else he said I like you duh lol it was cute.






Quoting AleaKat:

If he is the right kind of man and understands her hesitation... Yes.







Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly.. do you think a man would wait until then? Even if there is love and everything..










Quoting Dinimon:

I don't think there's a set timeline.





Do it when you're ready, wether its before or after getting married.



your_angel
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:32 PM
Like 2 maybe 3 hours. No I'm just kidding! You'll know when the time is right. Some people do still choose to wait until marriage but I don't think it's for everyone.
You'll know in your heart rather he's the one or not even if you haven't had sex yet. So just wait until you know he's for real.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:33 PM
1 mom liked this

 love love LOVE this answer! Agree 2000%

Quoting louzannalady:

The right one will! I promise! If you set your moral value to respect your body and not have sex until you are married, then you will weed out all the guys not worth being with. And you will find someone AMAZING!

Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly.. do you think a man would wait until then? Even if there is love and everything..




Quoting Dinimon:

I don't think there's a set timeline.


Do it when you're ready, wether its before or after getting married.

 

louzannalady
by Gold Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:37 PM
That is really neat! But, having been in an abusive marriage with a cheater, I will say something here, from love and from experience. I don't know your circumstance or how long you have been away from the man who abused you, but it is SUPER important, if you haven't to get some therapy. If you don't resolve the turmoil he caused you, you will bring it into your new relationship and it will take its toll. You are AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT and WONDERFUL! You should never be shocked someone treats you well or does not sexually abuse you! You should be shocked someone did! It has taken me a long time to figure out and it has taken a toll on my marriage. I got married before I resolved the things that happened in my first marriage. We are great, now. But, I spent the first three years of our marriage with my current husband tiptoeing around to not make him angry or unhappy. I finally understand how to be myself and be straightforward and HAPPY! He is the best man ever and I had a hard time trusting that, after all I had been through. I put him through some crap he did not deserve for my issues.
Quoting Anonymous:

Kind of a surprise to me, since my ex said he didn't know if he could wait 6 weeks after have my son, we weren't together then but after my second, I waited not even two weeks because I didn't want him to cheat again.. :( I'm so surprised this man is so understanding and sweet about everything!



Quoting louzannalady:

That is great! : )



Quoting Anonymous:

He actually does and we talked about it today. He said he respects anything I want. And that he won't even bring it up until he gets the okay from me.. and when I asked why wouldn't he just move onto something else he said I like you duh lol it was cute.







Quoting AleaKat:

If he is the right kind of man and understands her hesitation... Yes.







Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly.. do you think a man would wait until then? Even if there is love and everything..











Quoting Dinimon:

I don't think there's a set timeline.






Do it when you're ready, wether its before or after getting married.






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:45 PM
1 mom liked this
That's what I am afraid of... Thinking he's always cheating because my ex did.. thinking I'm never going to be good enough because my ex said I wouldn.. etc.. he went through it too.. his ex wife cheated with his brother, and best friend ... So we both have trust issues, but I do feel like I can trust him so far.. I have huge insecurity issues like when he says I'm beautiful I tell him to stop. Because I'm not used to it... I should see someone so I don't mess up a good thing... Thank you!!


Quoting louzannalady:

That is really neat! But, having been in an abusive marriage with a cheater, I will say something here, from love and from experience. I don't know your circumstance or how long you have been away from the man who abused you, but it is SUPER important, if you haven't to get some therapy. If you don't resolve the turmoil he caused you, you will bring it into your new relationship and it will take its toll. You are AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT and WONDERFUL! You should never be shocked someone treats you well or does not sexually abuse you! You should be shocked someone did! It has taken me a long time to figure out and it has taken a toll on my marriage. I got married before I resolved the things that happened in my first marriage. We are great, now. But, I spent the first three years of our marriage with my current husband tiptoeing around to not make him angry or unhappy. I finally understand how to be myself and be straightforward and HAPPY! He is the best man ever and I had a hard time trusting that, after all I had been through. I put him through some crap he did not deserve for my issues.
Quoting Anonymous:

Kind of a surprise to me, since my ex said he didn't know if he could wait 6 weeks after have my son, we weren't together then but after my second, I waited not even two weeks because I didn't want him to cheat again.. :( I'm so surprised this man is so understanding and sweet about everything!




Quoting louzannalady:

That is great! : )



Quoting Anonymous:

He actually does and we talked about it today. He said he respects anything I want. And that he won't even bring it up until he gets the okay from me.. and when I asked why wouldn't he just move onto something else he said I like you duh lol it was cute.








Quoting AleaKat:

If he is the right kind of man and understands her hesitation... Yes.







Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly.. do you think a man would wait until then? Even if there is love and everything..












Quoting Dinimon:

I don't think there's a set timeline.






Do it when you're ready, wether its before or after getting married.










momtolittleg
by Platinum Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:48 PM

I waited 9 months with my first serious bf, who I ended up marrying. We were 18 (me) and 17 when we started dating. After we divorced, I went on 2 dates with my current hubby before sleeping with him- but he was a 26 year old virgin, so I felt bad for him!

ilovemykids323
by Platinum Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 6:50 PM

 Waitin until you are married is fine. i know lots of people that still do it. I'm not sure what is a good rule of thumb on a time limit to wait though 6 months to make sure he is atleast somewht serious???  i dunno

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 24, 2013 at 7:54 PM
Aw that's so cute! Lol


Quoting momtolittleg:

I waited 9 months with my first serious bf, who I ended up marrying. We were 18 (me) and 17 when we started dating. After we divorced, I went on 2 dates with my current hubby before sleeping with him- but he was a 26 year old virgin, so I felt bad for him!


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