it is strange but it is what it is. i always thought that if i was ever in a situation where dh was unfaithful i would leave. but here we are. basically dh and i lost our selves somewhere in the last couple of years. I dont think we were ready for marriage or children at the ages when we first made these choices. we had really fallen apart in the last couple of years. communication stoped. affection stoped. being there for each other stoped. we just survived together. we took care of the kids. paid the bills. cleaned the house and fell asleep. both exhausted from life we didnt even try any more. im not saying its an excuse. im not saying its ok. however he made a decision one night that has now changed our life forever. i was hurt. i cried. i prayed. we talked. and we listened to each other for the first time in a long time. in the end i realized what i was loosing by giving up so easily on us and he realized what he was about to loose. he also said doing what he did made him realize that what he haa at home is what he truly wants. he also says it made him realize that by puting effort into me he would get a lot back. now for the women who say "he shouldnt of had to leave your marriage to know that" all i can say is your right he shouldnt have had to do that. but keep in mind every situation is different. i would have never thought in a milion years this would be our situation or our story. i just want it to be a reminder to people that relationships take time and energy. they need to be maintained like everything else in our lives if we want it to grow and flourish. i honestly think we would have been divorced in the next year if not for this wake up call. i hate to say it. but its the truth.