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Should I get a restraining order? (sorry kinda of long but please read)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies

I was dating this man for about 6 months and we broke up about 2 months ago due to starting to fight all the time. He still calls and texts me on a hourly basis. I have told him over and over again that we are done and to move on and to find someone else to be with but he just doesn't understand. Anyways, last night I had a friend over to watch movies (the kids went to their dads house for the weekend) and this was the first time that I have even had somewhat of a date since we broke up. I say somewhat of a date because my friend that came over I have known for years and we had always talked about getting together but one of us was always in a relationship. Anyways, after watching a movie we started making out on the couch and my phone starts blowing up with texts from him but I didn't check the messages and we went into my room. Well as we are having sex my ex started to beat on my window and yell things at me that I have no right to cheat on him and calling me all kinds of names. Needless to say we stopped doing what we were doing and got dressed. I looked at my phone and I had 36 text messages from him and as I was looking at the texts another one came in that said for me to watch my back because I had cheated on him and he was going to get his friends to jump. We left my house and went and stayed at my friends house because my friend wasn't about to leave their alone. When I got home this morning and walk into my room it was trashed. My ex had somehow managed to get into my house (I think that he might have a key because all my windows are locked and there are no signs of forced entry). He went through all of my things and tipped over my dresser with my brand new tv on it (it is broken now). He destroyed my room but as far as I can tell there is nothing missing. I called the police but they said that since there are no signs of forced entry then there is nothing that I can really do. I am waiting for my friend to come back over here to change the locks on all of my doors. But I am thinking about getting a restraining order against him but then again I am scared that it will just piss him off more and still come and do something to me. I mean a restraining order is not going to protect me from him if he is mad enough ya know? It's just a piece of paper. So what would you do about it?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
beachbabies6
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:50 PM

yes you should get one

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:51 PM

Do you think that it will make him madder though? That's what I am scared of and then that piece of paper is going to protect me if he comes here.  

Quoting beachbabies6:

yes you should get one

 

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:52 PM

 Oh my word. I would have called the police when I discovered the room trashed. They could have made a report which would have helped you get the RO. That dude sounds crazy.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Idk what else you can do besides a restraining order, but it does not sound like you are safe. Call a domestic violence shelter, they may have better advice for you that's specific to where you live. I volunteer at one and they will gladly give advice and resources to women who aren't even coming to the shelter. They just want to help.

Good luck, I hope this turns out better than it is right now!
beachbabies6
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:55 PM


the way it protects you is if he violates it the punishment is stiffer for him

Quoting Anonymous:

Do you think that it will make him madder though? That's what I am scared of and then that piece of paper is going to protect me if he comes here.  

Quoting beachbabies6:

yes you should get one




bmw29
by spitfire_bobbie on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:55 PM

I've actually been through this in my younger years. Stand your ground, never go anywhere unarmed and be prepared to defend yourself with violence.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:55 PM

I have a carry permit-and i would start carrying. I don't know what you can dothough...carry permits take time.

Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:56 PM
It will piss him off but once he cones near you,your property and or kids you can call the cops and have him arrested.
vwd_johnson
by Ruby Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:56 PM
I would have someone stay with you for the weekend. I would get a restraining order too, he may get pissed, but at least you can land him in jail if he violates.

It sounds like restraining order or not, he's coming back.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 24, 2013 at 5:56 PM

 I did call the police. They are the ones that told me that there is nothing they can do about it because there isn't any sign of forced entry which is why I think that he might have a key. Also there are times that I come home from work and notice that something is moved or just get that feeling that someone had been in there while I was at work and the kids at school. I didn't ever think that it could have been him but now I am almost positive and thats why my locks are being changed today. My friend is at the store right now buying new locks and getting bars for my windows so that he can't come through my window. I would move if I could but I just moved into this house and I'm buying it.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 Oh my word. I would have called the police when I discovered the room trashed. They could have made a report which would have helped you get the RO. That dude sounds crazy.

 

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