In the last 24 hours I have learned that there are more issues with communication in my marriage than I thought there were. It got to the point where I thought I was going to lose my husband last night and I was constantly on the edge of a panic attack. Basically the gist of it is that me and my kids are moving 1700 miles away from my hubby and it could last up to a year. He is in the military and the humidity here is texas is messing really bad with my asthma so the kids hardly go outside or have the ability to be the little boys they should be so we decided that for their well being as well as mine me and the kids would move to MILs house.
Now my hubby has been having serious depression issues with our situation. Not just me and the kids leaving but the medical problems he has been having (bad hip they wont fix and now back problems that they think is a compressed disk) and that there is nothing to do here in the city (yeah I married a country boy) and the fact he has no friends here as he does not like the people he has met that are military. So instead of talking to me and letting me help him through his problems he started getting on those sex meet up sites and talking to people on there. I know he never met any of them as he is always working or home with me and the kids, but it still hurt that he wouldnt talk to me.
We have both decided to take time each night to sit and talk, even if we have to write it out to each other (both can express things easier through writing) and then discuss it openly. I was terrified we were falling apart and he told me he feels like he has failed his family because the decision to join the military (joint decision) did not pan out the way we planned. He is also scared that when I get up to his moms that I will find someone else, someone better. It looks like we have a long road a head of us, but I am willing and ready to fight for my marriage no matter what it takes. I love this man with all my heart and am not willing to give up.
Not sure why I am posting this other than I have no one else to talk to about it right now, and I needed to get it out. I know a lot of you will probably say he will cheat when I am gone but he is not that type of man. He really was just looking for friends, but was looking in all the wrong spots. I have to go run some errands so if I don't answer anyones questions for a while I am sorry and will try to get to them as soon as I get home.